Mental Health another suicide attempt drug binge

[Hezman94]

basically i was buzzing to get my disabilitymoney was gonna use moey toget supplements go bac to the gym and toget me off opiates.
well no dickhead here wokeup and my headwas going crazyat me like it does all time;i am addicted toseveral psycjoactive not jusstrecreational
in last fordasgone thruatleast 2820mg and56 5mgtablets,yusul morphine, thenigetpissed oit and imnoteenn nodding im wide awake bare energy got offered a pipe of white took it then bought 2 more thars 20quid eighth of weed stupidstupid sam.


anywayimixed these with alot of alohol around 40mg diazepam chlorphenamine gabapentoids.
i got like 80mg oxxy left and more somewhere i stashed some
i hate this shit addiction people wont givemeanythingduetomy medications
i doget 160mgmorphine but thhey say they hardlet anyonetake morethan 120mg unlessthey gotreallyseriouus issues.
Oh and I drank 40mlmethadone with it all thats why ifeel good and not depressed

imso lonely but even f i had a good woman id be happybut still be empty inside
also lifehas turnedme ito a dark ide i use to freeze up inconfrontations i still would but i beenfeelin violent since begnningof last year. i kicked fuck out guy cos ILIVE NEXT DOOR TOMY EX AND HE BULLIES HER AND I USE TOLOVE HER SO MUCH YEARS AGO AND THORT SHE WAS BEAUTIFUL BUT SHE SAIDSHECUDNT LOVE ME.
im crying now thanks for listenin 80mgo xyodone face y demons in about six hours

 

[Hezman94]

and she spokeabout getting pregnant wanting ababy all time and i use to seretlytry get one so i got a purpose inlifeandso shedthink we may aswell be togethr for sake of kid and i see her wth a little girl andmy heart dies. he has got her intosmoking crackthey waste all theremoney letgrandparentlook after kid.
i wouldofplaed with her all day long, we doal get alongthey dontknow i feel this way if i toldher she wud tell him.
he has beat her and made her blindioneeye her beautiful face fuckin woman beater he was beggingme to stop if i werent on all these tabletsid probs be a raging psycho

 

[jhjhsdi]

You're lucky to still be alive after all that buddy.
He sounds like a grade A cunt I fucking hate woman beaters.
Is there anyone u can talk to in real life about everything going on?
Wish you best of luck

 

[Lucy20]

Don't ever think of suicide. I lost someone I loved to it years ago and his pain stopped but his family's and loved ones suffering just began.
Reach out to someone if you think that. Bluelight has alot of people that would happily talk to you and help you see the good in you

 

[mtu mwendawazimu]

Hey Hezman,

I too am curious if you have anyone you can talk to about this in your life. If you don't, please come here or use a suicide hotline - there are so many better ways to be living and it isn't out of the question for you. It sounds like the environment is part of the problem. Take it one step at a time though. And to figure out those steps, I think you best see a therapist or someone trained to help you move out of sticky situations.

Can you think of any positive things going on in your life?