Exhausted And that was the last attempt to see my kid's

[emkee_reinvented]

Since 10 month's the mother of my kid's is playing divorce war's with me.

Guess what, I lost. Won't be seeing them again for a long long time. Normally you would have to have used violence and/ or sexual abuse to get separated in court by a judge.

Not alway's, I assure you none of the above played a part. I am not violent nor abusive. Neither did it appear in court. But the separation is a fact. And its purely bureaucratic bullshit. Children's right's are ignored, my right's to.

Very sad but true, no clue what to do. I can prove all points I made about being non violent/ abusive. But can't get it in court as it would cost me a fortune. One visit to a lawyer burned a hole in my pocket so a lawsuit is out of the question.

What a f*ckin bitch, she even made false accusation's about me to the cop's. Like driving under influence while I don't have a driver license or own a car.

My kid's and I are fucked.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

Not so, IMO/E.
From one who believes in all and nothing... shit does change. I wont pretend to know the how but there are legion that are living evidence that the end is not the end.
I will gather thoughts and try to come back to this as it is out of my reach at the moment; am feeling a bit ill and hope to get it under control here soon.
We can in fact move mountains albeit we may start out a handful of earth at a time. Daunting but doable.

My kid's and I are fucked.

Learning early on that everything is temporary, loss becomes no less crushing... maybe even more so. But looking back, everything that I "lost" has been returned tenfold (still very little) and my reality is a place I felt was impossible and unattainable. Issues are still present but they are not crisis and don't take away all my time and am able to focus on other areas of "life".

Neither you nor your kids are simple... we have brains and we use them. A temporary obstacle that has, can, and will be overcome. I know ya aint feeling this shit right now but please do not dive into a pile of substances to "fix" this... use that as a reward for "fixing" it.
See ya inna bit and be careful with this new road-block... looks to be designed to be rid of you.
Love always

 

[deficiT]

This really sucks dude. I hope sense will ultimately prevail eventually and you'll be able to see your kids.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Hopeful and reassuring.

Lets hope that this change will give me tenfold back what i lost. I was 4/ 5 month's in the divorce game trying to gain the right's my kid's and I have.

Till my first epileptic insult, probably caused by the stress and sleepless night's over this.

My bad habit's that got progressively worse are surely tempered and tamed a bit. As they can trigger an insult. But you are right that was the first thought that crossed my mind: Drug's.

But i haven't given in, and once I will be able to. I try to follow your advise and not give in. Being sturdy as a rock.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Not so, IMO/E.
From one who believes in all and nothing... shit does change. I wont pretend to know the how but there are legion that are living evidence that the end is not the end.
I will gather thoughts and try to come back to this as it is out of my reach at the moment; am feeling a bit ill and hope to get it under control here soon.

Update, my dr. acknowledges my thought's on this but its a hard case as I cannot use the law that is clearly offended in my case in my benefit.

So patience and pervasive endurance are necessity's in my situation.

'Get up stand up, don't give up the fight'

'Don't give up on yourself'

'Something blok ya, move outta my way!'

 

[emkee_reinvented]

You can close this or keep it open so that other's in the same situation can climb in. But I am ready for the next step.

Gettin' myself together and be there when the opportunity is in. Attitude of a warrior. No fistfight's just reasoning my right's.

They have an problem with that attitude, I don't.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

For those following this.

'Hope is on the orizon'

And I seem to have made peace with the fact the issue's i stumbled upon. Which could be summarized as the consequences of an system that is workin'poorly at best.

And my excessive drug use, that my kid's didn't harm. They probably smelled it, booze. But I was never drunk, just stressed and hyped up. And the ADHD medication probably helped me to keep up this behaviour. Drinking without getting drunk, but constantly going over ones bodily and mental limit's, is not adviseable. My dr and i concluded why continue and I agree.

Let's hope my ex does nothing crazy. But the way it seem's it is gettin'better. Which will save my kids from any more trauma.

 

[✿Dai₷y✿]

Have you at least got supervised visitation or phone calls?

What country are you in? Do you have your own place and is it set up for the kids? Do you have a car?

Im sorry you are hurting mate, I am a parent and am doing it alone, he left and his choice ...alas still has put it out there I'm keeping him away, at this point I dont care neither does my daughter.


Its not over, you can represent yourself and keep pressure up for access yet it will not work unless you prove you are up to it.

Supervised visits would be the easiest thing to start with, or phone calls.
Will help with stress levels, seeing the kids.

Good luck, man.

 

[neversickanymore]

Sending love and don’t forsake anything.. I get it and have been right there.. I stuck the shit out and said fuck that in the right way. Just hanging with my son tonight as he drove my rig playing his tunes.. and they are my tunes.. pure love.. but I had to endure straight fire to get here.. yes it’s worth it

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Have you at least got supervised visitation or phone calls?

What country are you in? Do you have your own place and is it set up for the kids? Do you have a car?

This Saturday my mother functioned as a supervisor, love to my mom. So my kid's were over here for a few hour's. But my personal view she is being used. better then nothing. A thing they could hide behind and push away response ability. because 10 month's of breakage between my children and me based purely on assumption and prejudice. No judge ever determined that I was a danger. Just like none of these dummie's ever checked the fact's.

It was even worse most of this was decided without me knowing, only after several request's report's about what was going one were sent to me.

Nl, the Netherland's, my own place crisp and clean with three sleeping room's that are more then just a matras on the ground. I have an nice 4 room house. Live in a lovely spot.

Neither a licence or a car, but they live 12 km away from me.

The psychiatrist that coordinates some off the care I receive was stupefied by the fact a parenting mediation office can label someone. Without taking up contact with someone specialized in psychiatry and psychology

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Sending love and don’t forsake anything.. I get it and have been right there.. I stuck the shit out and said fuck that in the right way. Just hanging with my son tonight as he drove my rig playing his tunes.. and they are my tunes.. pure love.. but I had to endure straight fire to get here.. yes it’s worth it

Thank's for the up's, every one.

I need it I am up against a system that is a bonfire. And a ex that does false Police charges, driving under influence/ stalking.

 

[ageingpartyfiend]

keep your head in the game man

the kids will recognise and appreciate it , especially as they age etc

 

[neversickanymore]

Keep the contact up.. kids become young adults fast and they pay attention. No matter what at 18 (us) they can do whatever they chose.. sticking in there now leads to a healthy relationship down the road. You and your x may be totally bitter.. play an end game that reconnects you to your kids.. her shit show is a house of cards if you take the high road.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Sending love and don’t forsake anything.. I get it and have been right there.. I stuck the shit out and said fuck that in the right way. Just hanging with my son tonight as he drove my rig playing his tunes.. and they are my tunes.. pure love.. but I had to endure straight fire to get here.. yes it’s worth it

That word 'forsake' was new so i had to look it up.

Forsake: 'leave them alone/ abandon'

No men not doing that. Slow and steady, always there and ready. Sturdy as a rock. The law is on my side. The universal right's of children confirm their right's are being broken, for 10 month's plus.

But like i said 'system is a bonfire'. endurance is strenght!

ps. Keepin'up the contact. My Mom and Whatsapp, direct contact between the parent's is atm not an option. Last call just before i saw them proved this. You'll have to take for granted I presented the best of what is within reasonable.

Didn't help.

 

[emkee_reinvented]

Some positiv news, the current Case regisseur, a dickhead. Is finally replaced on my request by one of his colleague's. Probably gonna be a girl I talked to before. who's first impression she left was an emphatic and intelligent person.

Secondary, my art project, an after the third world war Barbie, is progressing. Here main weapon is finished, she already had a handgun and a knife. i am using at least 90% reused item's. The Barbie, for example was found in the bushes near a beach. All her attributes are handmade by me.

Havin' some trouble with the sowing of her clothes, Very learning project.

 

[Lil'LinaptkSix]

i wanna see barbie, please?
i truly hope things are bearable....

peace always