istilplayrunescape
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2016
- Messages
- 23
I will start out by saying for years I have had nasty episodic insomnia, where i can go weeks (usually 3 weeks at a time) with a normal pattern of sleep, then for 2 or 3 days in a row i either wont sleep at all or have extreme trouble sleeping.
I went to the doctors for it multiple times since 16 or 17. Now im in college. the week before spring break it happened again, my mom went to italy for two weeks and a day or two into that (it didnt have to do with her leaving) my problems just hit hard, and it went into spring break. There was a point where i hadnt slept in days. Ive always told myself if it exceeded three days of no sleep i would go to a hospital.
I notice that they start with back pains, those will wake me up and keep me up, i cant stop moving my legs. then once that happens for one night the fear of the next night and everything else makes it so much worse and i think i end up scaring myself into not sleepin for days (i think)
anyway, at the peak of these problems during the spring break week, my body was in a lot of pain just aching everywhere from not sleeping. the worst was my back (my spine is pushed sideways and foward) and under my arm pits. Along with that i work roofing sometimes and that made it very hard i left work and havnt been back. got a job delivering pizza since.
i ended up one day taking 4 tylenols, and then another 4 an hour later when the pain wouldent go away. That along with the 4th day of no sleep made me go to the hospital, about 10 minutes after i took the 8th tylenol i said "wow i just swallowed a small handful of pills" and got really scared and just went.
they told me i was okay and they couldent help me with my sleep, but a doctor visit could. I did not sleep that night or the following night.... torture.
Finally my mother gets home and we go to the doctor, after a long conversation about my life and whats going on, he tries prescribing me Alprazolam (xanax?) i tell him in not really interested in pills, especially ones so addictive. (i have done a lot of reading on drugs since i used to be a party person when i was younger.)
were about to leave with nothing and my mother starts crying and yells at the doctor " what am i going to do when he cant sleep again tonight, when he cant sleep i cant sleep!" i try not to wake her up during my episodes but its hard my room is empty and i cannot sit still. i got rid of all video games and distractions and everything. usually i sit up and cry because i dont know why i cant sleep.
the doctors asks us to hang on a moment and comes back to the room.
he tells me he wants to prescribe me ambien 5mg and for me to give it a try right 5 minutes before bed time. he says take 1 to two of them try one first.
great i thought, drugs. i was really nervous a pill! i hope i dont get dependant on this thing to get to sleep!
the first night before bed lots of tossing and turning, i take my first pill. soon i slept for 3 hours straight ( a lot for me at this point)
i got up and it was about 2 am so i took another. i got up again at about 530 am. hm it worked i suppose.
the next night i try not to take one (also for the last two or three days i started a no caffiene and tons of excersize thing to try to be healthier)
i try to sleep at 8pm. im up at 11. fuck. i take one, im sleeping til 3 am. 3 am comes and i take one... nothing. i didnt want to take a third my doctor said DO NOT TAKE A THIRD.
i sat up all night after 3am.
the next night comes. its bed time. i take two at once.... i didnt get to sleep. instead i stay up for hours staring at my humidifier. it gives off a blue light, and if i would look away it would intensify 100 fold and turn a dark dark purple instead of blue. i stare at that for as long as i remember before i pass out. I also got into an argument with my girlfriend over facebook in the middle of the night when i thought i was sleeping.
after that night i consumed my everyday with staying busy. I wouldent rest for a second. no sitting down to watch tv, every spare moment i had i tried to fill with excersize or something. work, anything.
I started sleeping without the pills and i was very greatful. it lasted for about two weeks and now im back and i cant sleep well.
It has to do with a few things...
i have a ton on my mind, i just do not know if i am happy with my life, i just had to break up with my girlfriend. but these thoughts bother me during my day as im living my life,and not at night, i dont think of these things at sleep.
i fell in a parking lot and landed on this parking stub (little cement rectangles on the ground) my back hurts decently from it but i think it will go away, its just cuts and bruises no bone problem hopefully.
the past two days ive had the problems again... last night was worse, because saturday i went out with friends and started drinking when i noticed i couldent sleep, i was sleeping by 4am. (havnt went out to drink since i was about 17, im going to be 20 soon) but sunday night i couldent sleep again. i went to bed at 1030 and woke up at 12 and didnt get a wink until 7am. at which point i fell asleep and was woken up soon after to everyone else in the house waking up.
last night my mother asked me to please take one of my pills but i cant, they scare me. i get nervous about taking them, i dont want to see things change color again, i dont want to fight with people and not know why. im scared this is going to happen again. so far this is my first time its hitting me hard in college, and its costing me a lot. im already on thin ice from missing so many days even though i got a note, and its happening again. i dont want to rush to the doctor but i dont want time to tick by.
Im very miserable.
also i know amben arnt benzos but they are close.
I went to the doctors for it multiple times since 16 or 17. Now im in college. the week before spring break it happened again, my mom went to italy for two weeks and a day or two into that (it didnt have to do with her leaving) my problems just hit hard, and it went into spring break. There was a point where i hadnt slept in days. Ive always told myself if it exceeded three days of no sleep i would go to a hospital.
I notice that they start with back pains, those will wake me up and keep me up, i cant stop moving my legs. then once that happens for one night the fear of the next night and everything else makes it so much worse and i think i end up scaring myself into not sleepin for days (i think)
anyway, at the peak of these problems during the spring break week, my body was in a lot of pain just aching everywhere from not sleeping. the worst was my back (my spine is pushed sideways and foward) and under my arm pits. Along with that i work roofing sometimes and that made it very hard i left work and havnt been back. got a job delivering pizza since.
i ended up one day taking 4 tylenols, and then another 4 an hour later when the pain wouldent go away. That along with the 4th day of no sleep made me go to the hospital, about 10 minutes after i took the 8th tylenol i said "wow i just swallowed a small handful of pills" and got really scared and just went.
they told me i was okay and they couldent help me with my sleep, but a doctor visit could. I did not sleep that night or the following night.... torture.
Finally my mother gets home and we go to the doctor, after a long conversation about my life and whats going on, he tries prescribing me Alprazolam (xanax?) i tell him in not really interested in pills, especially ones so addictive. (i have done a lot of reading on drugs since i used to be a party person when i was younger.)
were about to leave with nothing and my mother starts crying and yells at the doctor " what am i going to do when he cant sleep again tonight, when he cant sleep i cant sleep!" i try not to wake her up during my episodes but its hard my room is empty and i cannot sit still. i got rid of all video games and distractions and everything. usually i sit up and cry because i dont know why i cant sleep.
the doctors asks us to hang on a moment and comes back to the room.
he tells me he wants to prescribe me ambien 5mg and for me to give it a try right 5 minutes before bed time. he says take 1 to two of them try one first.
great i thought, drugs. i was really nervous a pill! i hope i dont get dependant on this thing to get to sleep!
the first night before bed lots of tossing and turning, i take my first pill. soon i slept for 3 hours straight ( a lot for me at this point)
i got up and it was about 2 am so i took another. i got up again at about 530 am. hm it worked i suppose.
the next night i try not to take one (also for the last two or three days i started a no caffiene and tons of excersize thing to try to be healthier)
i try to sleep at 8pm. im up at 11. fuck. i take one, im sleeping til 3 am. 3 am comes and i take one... nothing. i didnt want to take a third my doctor said DO NOT TAKE A THIRD.
i sat up all night after 3am.
the next night comes. its bed time. i take two at once.... i didnt get to sleep. instead i stay up for hours staring at my humidifier. it gives off a blue light, and if i would look away it would intensify 100 fold and turn a dark dark purple instead of blue. i stare at that for as long as i remember before i pass out. I also got into an argument with my girlfriend over facebook in the middle of the night when i thought i was sleeping.
after that night i consumed my everyday with staying busy. I wouldent rest for a second. no sitting down to watch tv, every spare moment i had i tried to fill with excersize or something. work, anything.
I started sleeping without the pills and i was very greatful. it lasted for about two weeks and now im back and i cant sleep well.
It has to do with a few things...
i have a ton on my mind, i just do not know if i am happy with my life, i just had to break up with my girlfriend. but these thoughts bother me during my day as im living my life,and not at night, i dont think of these things at sleep.
i fell in a parking lot and landed on this parking stub (little cement rectangles on the ground) my back hurts decently from it but i think it will go away, its just cuts and bruises no bone problem hopefully.
the past two days ive had the problems again... last night was worse, because saturday i went out with friends and started drinking when i noticed i couldent sleep, i was sleeping by 4am. (havnt went out to drink since i was about 17, im going to be 20 soon) but sunday night i couldent sleep again. i went to bed at 1030 and woke up at 12 and didnt get a wink until 7am. at which point i fell asleep and was woken up soon after to everyone else in the house waking up.
last night my mother asked me to please take one of my pills but i cant, they scare me. i get nervous about taking them, i dont want to see things change color again, i dont want to fight with people and not know why. im scared this is going to happen again. so far this is my first time its hitting me hard in college, and its costing me a lot. im already on thin ice from missing so many days even though i got a note, and its happening again. i dont want to rush to the doctor but i dont want time to tick by.
Im very miserable.
also i know amben arnt benzos but they are close.