A
Amiguilty
Guest
This story happened a long time ago, but all the talk around rape and consent has gotten me thinking. When I was in high school I first was interested in a girl in a neighboring town, and at first the attraction was not goal oriented premeditated or anything. I had met her through a friend and thought she was cute and that was it. We met again one day at a local concert and hung out and talked a little. At the end of the night she needed a ride home, so I gave her one and she ended up kissing me and giving me her number after I had dropped her off. We started talking on the phone and I asked her out so we started dating. The very first day we hung out at my house turned into a make-up session that ended in her saying "we should fuck sometime"(no lie verbatum). Which was completely unexpected by me but to my raging teenage hormones I totally didn't run (though in hindsight maybe I should have). That was the end of that night though no sex or more making out, I just brought her home and continued on. From then on though it was always making out, she would put her hands in my pants, we would be sexual but not have intercourse. This slowly progressed to me going down on her and she would like start with a hand job or a blow job but it would always be like half assed in the sense that there was no follow through to a release for me. We even went as far as (this is hard to describe) looking like we were having sex but the penis wasn't inserted it was parallel to the vagina not perpendicular. All of this contact up until this next point was 100 percent consensual and mostly initiated by her. This next instance we were at my house and doing these things we normally did and after going down on her which she was completely satisfied we continued to make out still completely naked, and I started to get frustrated, through all these instances I had not once ejaculated, so I was being pesty about it, (which it wasn't even really directed at full on sex but like a blow job or hand job or anything really to completion) which the first couple times of questioning she was hesitant and saying I don't know, until finally she said let's do it. Which that lasted two seconds (haha no that's not why) when we thought we heard my mom come home and jumped up and got dressed quick fast in a hurry. That's where it ended. Shortly after this happened I found out she had given a friend down the street a blow job so I broke up with her. But it wasn't until after I broke up with her the accusation of rape happened, not officially but to my friends. I am not one to ever have wanted to violate someone or cause them pain, but with all the talks of late, is this one of those fine lines of coercion, am I guilty of being rapey?