HAHA I already felt THAT because of my autism. Humour aside school changing rooms were pure hell. I was routinely mocked, laughed at, assaulted and spat on.
I never approached anyone at all.
There was no point.
I knew other people would see me as a freak of nature and I also saw MYSELF like that. Physical intimacy was a constant need for me but also totally out of the question. Emotional closeness the same, but equally out of the question.
Everyone else around me could just casually fuck whenever they felt the need, and be free to pursue actual relationships anytime they felt they wanted something more. None of that was feasible for me in the same unthinking way.
From what I could see, either someone would want me only BECAUSE of what I was - some exotic prize ; or else merely DESPITE of what I was, and condescendingly throw me some pity sex, requiring me to be grovellingly grateful on account of 'who else would touch you' . No thanks. Anyone wanting me FOR who I was? Dream on.
AND YES I WAS JEALOUS AS ALL FUCK.
Of all you uncomplicatedly anatomically normal people that only have to deal with NORMAL hang - ups.
... Sorry guys I meant to do this in an entirely neutral info - exchange way, but I have a lot of bitterness in this regard.