happyhour1979
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 26, 2017
- Messages
- 2
This is probably gonna be a little long so please bear with me. I'm an alcoholic, probably have been since I started drinking at 18 (I'm 26 now) but it's never been as serious of a problem as it has become over the past 6 months or so. Prior to that, I would drink probably a 6-pack or a little less on a nightly basis (minus brief stints of self-imposed sobriety - probably my longest running stretch was 7 days during which time I experienced no physical withdrawal symptoms). About 6 months ago, I broke some bones in my foot which led to me losing my job (I was waitressing at the time). I was basically housebound during the month or so it took my foot to heal and during that time I began drinking throughout the day - I'm not talking getting absolutely wasted because I was usually drinking beer with a fairly low ABV, but I would start drinking shortly after waking up and continue throughout the day: my memories of that time are a little fuzzy at this point but I would guess I was drinking about 8-10 drinks a day. This continued after my foot healed and I found a new job - I wasn't drinking in the morning on days I worked but I would start drinking as soon as I got off work and continue to drink until I went to sleep (still averaging about 8-10 drinks a day). Fast forward to the present and I am probably averaging between 10-12 drinks a day. I consider it an "achievement" if I can hold off drinking until 5 P.M., and on days when I have no obligations I typically get started earlier.
This is obviously not good and I really do want to stop; however, this is the first time I have felt genuinely UNABLE to make myself stop, even for a few days. I have underlying issues with anxiety/panic disorder and these have reared their heads in a big way over the course of my 6-month bender. Generally, the world is a scary place for me when I am sober now. I know that a cold turkey self-detox poses certain risks (SEIZURES being my main concern) and the fear of that keeps me trotting back to the store for more beer every time I think about quitting on my own. I have a small amount of Klonopin (6 doses of .5 mgs), which I know is an anticonvulsant and a long-acting benzo. I have a week off after New Year's and my plan right now is to use that time to detox at home using the Klonopin - probably starting out with .5 mgs the first day and taking more if withdrawal symptoms present themselves. Everything I've been reading seems to indicate that the biggest risk of seizures hovers around the 48-72 hour mark after the last drink. Is that amount of Klonopin enough to get me safely through that period of time? (Side note: I do not have a tolerance to Klonopin and only take it several times a month for panic attacks). It's very hard for me to discern between what's actually going on and what's just my anxiety chiming in right now, so the thought of lying around FREAKING OUT about having a seizure for three days is almost as bad to me as the thought of ACTUALLY having a seizure - which the Klonopin will hopefully help with as well.
I've debated going to my doctor but I really don't want to get this slapped on my medical chart for the rest of my life. I also had to fib heavily about how much I drink to get the Klonopin prescribed in the first place so I'd be kissing that one goodbye, too. Again - I'm averaging about 10-12 drinks a day, almost always beer. This has been going on for about 6 months. I am a 5"8, 145-pound female in otherwise decent physical condition. Is it a bad idea to attempt this at home the way I have described? Would I be better off tapering down with alcohol itself? How quickly would I be able to do that? I apologize again for the length of this post, and for being an idiot and getting myself into this ridiculous situation in the first place.
This is obviously not good and I really do want to stop; however, this is the first time I have felt genuinely UNABLE to make myself stop, even for a few days. I have underlying issues with anxiety/panic disorder and these have reared their heads in a big way over the course of my 6-month bender. Generally, the world is a scary place for me when I am sober now. I know that a cold turkey self-detox poses certain risks (SEIZURES being my main concern) and the fear of that keeps me trotting back to the store for more beer every time I think about quitting on my own. I have a small amount of Klonopin (6 doses of .5 mgs), which I know is an anticonvulsant and a long-acting benzo. I have a week off after New Year's and my plan right now is to use that time to detox at home using the Klonopin - probably starting out with .5 mgs the first day and taking more if withdrawal symptoms present themselves. Everything I've been reading seems to indicate that the biggest risk of seizures hovers around the 48-72 hour mark after the last drink. Is that amount of Klonopin enough to get me safely through that period of time? (Side note: I do not have a tolerance to Klonopin and only take it several times a month for panic attacks). It's very hard for me to discern between what's actually going on and what's just my anxiety chiming in right now, so the thought of lying around FREAKING OUT about having a seizure for three days is almost as bad to me as the thought of ACTUALLY having a seizure - which the Klonopin will hopefully help with as well.
I've debated going to my doctor but I really don't want to get this slapped on my medical chart for the rest of my life. I also had to fib heavily about how much I drink to get the Klonopin prescribed in the first place so I'd be kissing that one goodbye, too. Again - I'm averaging about 10-12 drinks a day, almost always beer. This has been going on for about 6 months. I am a 5"8, 145-pound female in otherwise decent physical condition. Is it a bad idea to attempt this at home the way I have described? Would I be better off tapering down with alcohol itself? How quickly would I be able to do that? I apologize again for the length of this post, and for being an idiot and getting myself into this ridiculous situation in the first place.