So I will try to make it short, I'm fucking high on UR-144 and had some more 3MMC and I feel like telling you guys my story.
Most people won't bother reading this post, but I truly want to improve my life.
My mom is depressive, since she's 19. Spends her life on bed, or crying. I was a sad kid.
My dad, I don't know how this is possible, but I don't know him. We never talk. We can take the train hours or car together we say 2-3 sentences and it was it (we now talk more).
I always loved computing and started programming at 12. At 14-15, I met a guy who was a KING in hacking/programming and he told me about Summer Daze.
It was EDIT times, so 2007 maybe. Quickly, I started smoking synth noid everyday, then tried weed. It was 30 euros / months for sleeping like a baby, always had problems sleeping.
I was a stoner, loved those years, didn't learn much but was so talented already I done all classes well and people used to say I was smart.
Also gone unnoticed for few years from my parents. They didn't know the smell.
In 2009, someone asked me to reship a few kg of mephedrone from EU to China. He gave me 200g for free and I took 100g for 3 euros / gram.
I made 3000 euros selling it, met a girl from Germany (im french), and decided to fuck it and go there.
While dealing, I was a total ass to my parents because I always hated them and I was thinking this would last long.
I got kicked out, failed high school exams because I was on a 110 grams sesh (I swear), could have made much more.
Anyway, it allowed me to go to some countries with my german gf, and we were together for 2 years and half even if seeing each other only on school holidays.
So basically, before her, I never asked any girl out. Some asked me out or wanted sex when I was 12-13 but always pussied out.
We broke up. I began taking MDPV, you know the drill, I had my blinds always closed, paranoid as fuck, though I learnt much on computing which is my passion, since I was always thinking I was hacked.
Lost a year of computing uni (first and easiest year).
I seen a few psychologist but never helped me, the fact they didn't know the substance I was using, how pure it was and shit, led me to think "bullshit" to all what they said so I used to use them to get some Xanax, Valium for my tail sesh.
I done the year again, smoking everyday, loving it but spent few grands.
By the second year, tolerance was so high it was so expensive, almost 5g a day which is 50 euros. But I kept going, and succeed anyway due to the knowledge I had back when I was 12... I really didn't learn much from uni.
Now, I wanted to do a third year but for some weird administrative problems and money I can't.
I am now freelance programmer. My own boss.
Since about a month, I realied ordering 10g 3MMC, some UR sample or little quantity or even no cannabinoid was cheaper than my other habit that had no effect anymore.
I also was bored of spending so much money for SHIT weed when you guys now have dabs, oil, whatever.
So I gone, 3 or 4 weeks (not exactly in a raw) to my grand mother and took no weed. Or just one or two joints.
I now don't smoke anymore, but I'm almost always on 3-MMC.
I IV it, it's fucking good, but it's been like 3 weeks I do this here are the facts:
- People think of me I'm way more serious/clean/ready to work
- I am happy, never was before, I do jokes, I am social, for the first time I asked a girl out in a pub.
I have a good IV technique, but they gave me other needles and during a week I fucked my 2 arms. Can't IV in any vein really, or I need to try for hours, it's a real pain.
Snorting it makes my voice weird, because I don't sneeze or drink and then I end up looking like a mess.
Anyhow, I try to make this "safe". I have this phamarcy salesman who give me anorexic meals (3 meals in a drink) as samples.
I had an abcess so now I buy needles by 100s and stuff.
I drink electrolytes, or those sport rehydratation drinks. When I wake up in the morning I've no comedown but anxiety, so I usually drink a beer at pub at 9am before work, along with Diaz, and a little MMC but much less than the period I was unemployed (took some time to find some contracts)
I had a job interview on monday, three days no sleep, I had some Diaz and a beer before (I never drink), and it was ok.
Also met the people I graduated with they all said I look in better mood/shape/whatever.
On MMC, I don't smoke weed at all. But I bet I spend as much on camwhores but lately i've been reducing, and try to go out instead of stating in and watch porn all day being paranoid people spot me.
As I stated earlier, people find me much more sound, and yeah I gained confidence and shit.
I now have a job, I love it. I am my own boss so can work at the hours I want but I try to go to the office to reduce my intake (5g from sat to tuesday after going clean from weed at my grandma).
I now reduced to about half of this, don't take too much Diaz, but I know 3MMC is cardiotoxic and I'm 22 and sometimes when I walk up the stairs I feel it hurts. Well now I do it "safe" with supplement, rehydratation drinks and shit it's OK-ish. But I'm up 48 hours most of the time.
I would love to go on, I now love life, people are impressed by my skills, for exemple tonigjt on 3MMC (was my first day work today), I decided to kickstart the shit and worked til 7am, they were well impressed.
I don't know what to do yet. I met a girl on chatroulette (lol) and she made me stop weed, because she was angry at me and no one ever was, or at least not for the good reasons: that it makes you lazy if you smoke everyday all day.
Honestly, I think until I have full-time work (don't have enough freelance shit atm), I'm gonna go on.
Cost me much cheaper than weed, parents give much less money, and I feel connected to the world, happy, everything.
But I also know it can't last forever. Or can it ? What are the risks of doing this ? Dying at 30 ? I really wouldn't mind.
I'm waiting for the girl, I didn't have sex for 3 years since I broke up, it was true love but I was an idiot to choose the drugs over her.
So basically:
- What are the risks of the cardiotoxicity of 3-MMC ?
- I love my life, why stopping ? I now smoke a joint from time to time feels like the first time.
- I can get Diazepam scripts easily. But only take like 30-40mg / day. (Is this much ? Will I get even more anxious as I use them to go to work/shopping and need a beer along with it to not be craving ?
As I said, either full time work which I LOVE or a woman will make me stop. Or maybe you have other ideas.
My family is finally not angry angainst me anymore, they say they found and love me again, it's real weird for me.
Anyone been in this situation ? I started work 2 days ago, been in the mindest of reducing weed for months since it was too expensive and when quality got shit that's when I had the idea to switch to 3-MMC.
Any advices ? Ideas ? I sometime get paranoid, that made me reduce from my weekly 5g to less thanthat and I now keep all logs to learn what it was.. I'm sys admin.
Why should people try to live so long ?
If I ge the opportunity (girl, work) I'll prob stop doing it so much.
Other way, it makes money, makes me feel like a king, and gave me confidence that I never had (Im shy and skinny).
Anyone in a similar situation ?
Maybe this post is pointless, I don't know, but yeah, I talk a lot with this pharmacian guy and he agrees I'm gonna die young if I go on.
But I don't mind it, really, if I don't meet the girl that make me want to spend my life with her.
Am I weird ?
Most people won't bother reading this post, but I truly want to improve my life.
My mom is depressive, since she's 19. Spends her life on bed, or crying. I was a sad kid.
My dad, I don't know how this is possible, but I don't know him. We never talk. We can take the train hours or car together we say 2-3 sentences and it was it (we now talk more).
I always loved computing and started programming at 12. At 14-15, I met a guy who was a KING in hacking/programming and he told me about Summer Daze.
It was EDIT times, so 2007 maybe. Quickly, I started smoking synth noid everyday, then tried weed. It was 30 euros / months for sleeping like a baby, always had problems sleeping.
I was a stoner, loved those years, didn't learn much but was so talented already I done all classes well and people used to say I was smart.
Also gone unnoticed for few years from my parents. They didn't know the smell.
In 2009, someone asked me to reship a few kg of mephedrone from EU to China. He gave me 200g for free and I took 100g for 3 euros / gram.
I made 3000 euros selling it, met a girl from Germany (im french), and decided to fuck it and go there.
While dealing, I was a total ass to my parents because I always hated them and I was thinking this would last long.
I got kicked out, failed high school exams because I was on a 110 grams sesh (I swear), could have made much more.
Anyway, it allowed me to go to some countries with my german gf, and we were together for 2 years and half even if seeing each other only on school holidays.
So basically, before her, I never asked any girl out. Some asked me out or wanted sex when I was 12-13 but always pussied out.
We broke up. I began taking MDPV, you know the drill, I had my blinds always closed, paranoid as fuck, though I learnt much on computing which is my passion, since I was always thinking I was hacked.
Lost a year of computing uni (first and easiest year).
I seen a few psychologist but never helped me, the fact they didn't know the substance I was using, how pure it was and shit, led me to think "bullshit" to all what they said so I used to use them to get some Xanax, Valium for my tail sesh.
I done the year again, smoking everyday, loving it but spent few grands.
By the second year, tolerance was so high it was so expensive, almost 5g a day which is 50 euros. But I kept going, and succeed anyway due to the knowledge I had back when I was 12... I really didn't learn much from uni.
Now, I wanted to do a third year but for some weird administrative problems and money I can't.
I am now freelance programmer. My own boss.
Since about a month, I realied ordering 10g 3MMC, some UR sample or little quantity or even no cannabinoid was cheaper than my other habit that had no effect anymore.
I also was bored of spending so much money for SHIT weed when you guys now have dabs, oil, whatever.
So I gone, 3 or 4 weeks (not exactly in a raw) to my grand mother and took no weed. Or just one or two joints.
I now don't smoke anymore, but I'm almost always on 3-MMC.
I IV it, it's fucking good, but it's been like 3 weeks I do this here are the facts:
- People think of me I'm way more serious/clean/ready to work
- I am happy, never was before, I do jokes, I am social, for the first time I asked a girl out in a pub.
I have a good IV technique, but they gave me other needles and during a week I fucked my 2 arms. Can't IV in any vein really, or I need to try for hours, it's a real pain.
Snorting it makes my voice weird, because I don't sneeze or drink and then I end up looking like a mess.
Anyhow, I try to make this "safe". I have this phamarcy salesman who give me anorexic meals (3 meals in a drink) as samples.
I had an abcess so now I buy needles by 100s and stuff.
I drink electrolytes, or those sport rehydratation drinks. When I wake up in the morning I've no comedown but anxiety, so I usually drink a beer at pub at 9am before work, along with Diaz, and a little MMC but much less than the period I was unemployed (took some time to find some contracts)
I had a job interview on monday, three days no sleep, I had some Diaz and a beer before (I never drink), and it was ok.
Also met the people I graduated with they all said I look in better mood/shape/whatever.
On MMC, I don't smoke weed at all. But I bet I spend as much on camwhores but lately i've been reducing, and try to go out instead of stating in and watch porn all day being paranoid people spot me.
As I stated earlier, people find me much more sound, and yeah I gained confidence and shit.
I now have a job, I love it. I am my own boss so can work at the hours I want but I try to go to the office to reduce my intake (5g from sat to tuesday after going clean from weed at my grandma).
I now reduced to about half of this, don't take too much Diaz, but I know 3MMC is cardiotoxic and I'm 22 and sometimes when I walk up the stairs I feel it hurts. Well now I do it "safe" with supplement, rehydratation drinks and shit it's OK-ish. But I'm up 48 hours most of the time.
I would love to go on, I now love life, people are impressed by my skills, for exemple tonigjt on 3MMC (was my first day work today), I decided to kickstart the shit and worked til 7am, they were well impressed.
I don't know what to do yet. I met a girl on chatroulette (lol) and she made me stop weed, because she was angry at me and no one ever was, or at least not for the good reasons: that it makes you lazy if you smoke everyday all day.
Honestly, I think until I have full-time work (don't have enough freelance shit atm), I'm gonna go on.
Cost me much cheaper than weed, parents give much less money, and I feel connected to the world, happy, everything.
But I also know it can't last forever. Or can it ? What are the risks of doing this ? Dying at 30 ? I really wouldn't mind.
I'm waiting for the girl, I didn't have sex for 3 years since I broke up, it was true love but I was an idiot to choose the drugs over her.
So basically:
- What are the risks of the cardiotoxicity of 3-MMC ?
- I love my life, why stopping ? I now smoke a joint from time to time feels like the first time.
- I can get Diazepam scripts easily. But only take like 30-40mg / day. (Is this much ? Will I get even more anxious as I use them to go to work/shopping and need a beer along with it to not be craving ?
As I said, either full time work which I LOVE or a woman will make me stop. Or maybe you have other ideas.
My family is finally not angry angainst me anymore, they say they found and love me again, it's real weird for me.
Anyone been in this situation ? I started work 2 days ago, been in the mindest of reducing weed for months since it was too expensive and when quality got shit that's when I had the idea to switch to 3-MMC.
Any advices ? Ideas ? I sometime get paranoid, that made me reduce from my weekly 5g to less thanthat and I now keep all logs to learn what it was.. I'm sys admin.
Why should people try to live so long ?
If I ge the opportunity (girl, work) I'll prob stop doing it so much.
Other way, it makes money, makes me feel like a king, and gave me confidence that I never had (Im shy and skinny).
Anyone in a similar situation ?
Maybe this post is pointless, I don't know, but yeah, I talk a lot with this pharmacian guy and he agrees I'm gonna die young if I go on.
But I don't mind it, really, if I don't meet the girl that make me want to spend my life with her.
Am I weird ?
