Crackle pop
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Dec 16, 2021
- Messages
- 160
Hi guys been a little while since I’ve started a thread , firstly I hope you all are having a great start to your weekend!
So as some know briefly I used to be a competitive bodybuilder from age 19 to 35 in that time i had 8 heart attacks and a double heart bypass last feb which has failed leaving me with two blocked arteries and a heart that’s damaged from the steroid abuse mixed with sniffing coke maybe 2 times a month
Have had a spinal fusion so my lower spine is titanium after 3 bodged spinal surgery’s n few other bits n bobs
Anyway after the bypass failed I told I could die at any point if I don’t get back on all my meds n stop steroids n coke.
Well stupidly I relapsed on crack smoking it (I had been clean 17 years previously)
It got to the point it took over I lost everything family my girl my home n ended up on the city streets for 2 months had another bad heart attack and luckily cut short I got a nice bungalow in a nice area got my family n daughter back and a new relationship I’ve known her over 20 years but we’ve only been together since April this year.
I told her about my use at that point I’d binge n spend my wages on it have a four day binge then dry out for around ten days total abstinence just smoking weed , we get closer n i now have been only smoking it on a weekend either sat or the Sunday bcoz she is at work .
So I now use one day a week which is great when I was full on addicted I can now just use on a weekend but with my heart it’s still too much and my girl even tho she doesn’t take drugs she catches me out every time.
She will see a message from a dealer n no I’m goin to score an act thick so I tell a lie , she then gets face on n i half hour tells me she knew who text n what I was going to do etc , am I wrong in saying to her well why not be upfront about the message or whatever it may be n say so then I don’t need to tell a fib to cover my back which causes more shit!!
It’s almost like entrapment bcoz had she said x has messaged you about crack , then obviously that would be that , but by acting thick like she does isn’t helpin at all , the day I do use I’ll tell her 9’times out of ten , hid it this morning but she’d saw the dealers text knew exactly where I was goin but let me tell fib after fib digging deeper hole for myself
I just dunno what to do anymore any advice appreciated so much guys, just for the record I hate lies n telling them so much and il usually always tell her but by her playing thick tryin to catch me out . I don’t know just don’t seem fair!
Neither is lying about using fair . But from living for crack to 1 day a week use isn’t too bad I’ve just gotta stop this one day a week thing now n be strong.
Thanks for reading n any advice guys
So as some know briefly I used to be a competitive bodybuilder from age 19 to 35 in that time i had 8 heart attacks and a double heart bypass last feb which has failed leaving me with two blocked arteries and a heart that’s damaged from the steroid abuse mixed with sniffing coke maybe 2 times a month
Have had a spinal fusion so my lower spine is titanium after 3 bodged spinal surgery’s n few other bits n bobs
Anyway after the bypass failed I told I could die at any point if I don’t get back on all my meds n stop steroids n coke.
Well stupidly I relapsed on crack smoking it (I had been clean 17 years previously)
It got to the point it took over I lost everything family my girl my home n ended up on the city streets for 2 months had another bad heart attack and luckily cut short I got a nice bungalow in a nice area got my family n daughter back and a new relationship I’ve known her over 20 years but we’ve only been together since April this year.
I told her about my use at that point I’d binge n spend my wages on it have a four day binge then dry out for around ten days total abstinence just smoking weed , we get closer n i now have been only smoking it on a weekend either sat or the Sunday bcoz she is at work .
So I now use one day a week which is great when I was full on addicted I can now just use on a weekend but with my heart it’s still too much and my girl even tho she doesn’t take drugs she catches me out every time.
She will see a message from a dealer n no I’m goin to score an act thick so I tell a lie , she then gets face on n i half hour tells me she knew who text n what I was going to do etc , am I wrong in saying to her well why not be upfront about the message or whatever it may be n say so then I don’t need to tell a fib to cover my back which causes more shit!!
It’s almost like entrapment bcoz had she said x has messaged you about crack , then obviously that would be that , but by acting thick like she does isn’t helpin at all , the day I do use I’ll tell her 9’times out of ten , hid it this morning but she’d saw the dealers text knew exactly where I was goin but let me tell fib after fib digging deeper hole for myself
I just dunno what to do anymore any advice appreciated so much guys, just for the record I hate lies n telling them so much and il usually always tell her but by her playing thick tryin to catch me out . I don’t know just don’t seem fair!
Neither is lying about using fair . But from living for crack to 1 day a week use isn’t too bad I’ve just gotta stop this one day a week thing now n be strong.
Thanks for reading n any advice guys