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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Addicted and want out.. Advice needed.

Nakifantaki said:
I'm way to hard on myself... in all aspects in life.
Thanks for the book suggestions. I'll definitely look into them tomorrow
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Dude, you're self-medicating!!! You're just trying to be happy!!

Stop listening to people who say "you dont deserve it all" and you "dont deserve to be happy".
Feeling great and being happy is your BIRTHRIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I totally %100 agree man. For the most part I am happy. I don't have all that bad of a life.. of course I've been through some rough shit, but who hasn't? That's the thing though... opiates USED to make me happy... but now it's the opposite. I hate having to feel like these pills own me. I hate the way I feel these days - both with and without the oxy. My birthright at this point in time is like you said... to be happy. So that's what I'm trying to do, it's just so hard when the addict part of me tells me otherwise.
 
Nakifantaki said:
I totally %100 agree man. For the most part I am happy. I don't have all that bad of a life
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Good!! Cling to that!!

You have it 100 percent better than 99% of the Africans who live in a hut every day.
When you learn to appreciate your current life, thats when you're getting closer to the Vortex

Nakifantaki said:
That's the thing though... opiates USED to make me happy... but now it's the opposite. I hate having to feel like these pills own me. I hate the way I feel these days
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Thats because opiates are meant to be the "teacher", they are not meant to be a crutch you can cling to every day of your life!

Nakifantaki said:
I hate having to feel like these pills own me. I hate the way I feel these days - both with and without the oxy. My birthright at this point in time is like you said... to be happy. So that's what I'm trying to do, it's just so hard when the addict part of me tells me otherwise
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Start reading books into the "Law of Attraction" and you'll eventually get *there*.

It takes time though, I myself am about 90% there. Still got a ways to go
 
Fresco said:
Good!! Cling to that!!

You have it 100 percent better than 99% of the Africans who live in a hut every day.
When you learn to appreciate your current life, thats when you're getting closer to the Vortex


Thats because opiates are meant to be the "teacher", they are not meant to be a crutch you can cling to every day of your life!


Start reading books into the "Law of Attraction" and you'll eventually get *there*.

It takes time though, I myself am about 90% there. Still got a ways to go
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When I learn to appreciate my life?? Wtf. When did I say I didn't appreciate my life dude? Did you read any of this thread? I'm not sure where you got that idea from but please don't assume you know me.

Please take a walk.. you aren't helping, and I say that in ththe kindest way I know how to at this point. I appreciate the book recommendation and will look into it. Thanks.
 
I meant "learn to appreciate your life" in a general sense, not necessarily directed at you
 
Lasted all of 10 hours today. It seems that not only am I addcited to this shit, but I am also still in lots of discomfort from the surgery I had 2 and a half weeks ago. While that's to be expected - I cannot take any ibuprofen for the next 3 months because per my doctor it will slow down the healing of my fusion. So what the hell am I supposed to take for a legit pain in my spine... or for a headache?

I've conjured a new plan and secured another 10 days off work. I will taper for the remainder of this week and hopefully get my tolerance down to about half of what it is now, which is about 30mg a day. Then I'll make the jump to zero in 5-6 days. Then I will have 10-11 days before going back to work to completely kick and maybe if I've lucky start to feel a little better.

I'm disappointed in my myself and in the whole overall situation. I feel like I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place.
 
Well I managed to put off detoxing for 2 damn weeks. Excuse after excuse after excuse. It's pathetic. As of now I am done. I will take my last dose in about an hour and then I will begin the process of withdrawing. All of opiates in the house with the exception of 2 10mg oxys have been taken away. I have 7 days before I have to go back to work so it's now or never. The only reason I am keeping 2 pills is in case things get to extreme and I have to take a 5mg dose. My wife is holding onto them so they are not in my possession. I will only take them if I need them and will only take them 5mg at a time for a total of 4 doses in 7 days.

I am committed!! I will do this! I want my old life back!!!

I will be checking in here often I'm sure and I will take any encouraging advice I can get!

Also I figure tomorrow afternoon is when I will start to feel pretty bad. At the point what should I take as far as comfort meds? Gabapentin? A benzo? Muscle relaxer? Lope? How much should I take of what? I don't know know what would be best...
 
Nakifantaki said:
Also I figure tomorrow afternoon is when I will start to feel pretty bad. At the point what should I take as far as comfort meds? Gabapentin? A benzo? Muscle relaxer? Lope? How much should I take of what? I don't know know what would be best...
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Maybe all of the above?? Also try to get a hold of some CBD oil
 
The fear is definitely worse than the withdrawal itself. The physical part is bad but you'll get better so soon. What's one week in comparison with your entire time you've been using? Maybe the first 3 days will be worst but this feeling of freedom and hope just ahead will provide you with the strength you'll need. Think positive, imagine all the great things you will be able to do once you're free and happy.

I have been addicted to opiates for so long and I have missed so much! But I did it and I believe you are going to be just fine. The quitting time itself is not as hard as the days ahead. So start thinking of all the things you can think about that will make you busy. Even if you don't feel happy right away remember this is all part of the process.

Exercises will help you with the endorfin, whenever you experience cravings just live a moment at a time and soon you'll realize the craving itself doesn't last too long. You'll be saving money, also will be looking better and healthier. Think of the things you like to do, other than drugs. Anything is possible. For me it was music, books, going to different places, and small pleasures like watching you best series, playing games. Travel if you can.

Of course there will be moments you'll be sad. I felt quite depressed for a while but managed to feel some happiness every here and then. People can be quite supportive and you'll be surprised of how much money you'll either be saving or not worrying about it all the time.

Some people feel safer with supporting groups, you can practice in here. Just remember that most of us have gone through all of these feelings.

Keep posting! You can do this, believe in yourself and be patient.

Take care,
Erik
 
^^^ great advice Erik.

I've been clean from codeine for a few years now. I just have to kick kratom now, and I'll be homefree.
Keeping a positive attitude is a MUST during withdrawal
 
Fresco said:
^^^ great advice Erik.
I've been clean from codeine for a few years now. I just have to kick kratom now, and I'll be homefree.
Keeping a positive attitude is a MUST during withdrawal
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I haven't 100% read your entire thread but are you open to going to a professional to help you? I only ask bc I had a family member try to carry this burden all on his own & it didn't work out so well.
 
Nakifantaki said:
Well I managed to put off detoxing for 2 damn weeks. Excuse after excuse after excuse. It's pathetic. As of now I am done. I will take my last dose in about an hour and then I will begin the process of withdrawing. All of opiates in the house with the exception of 2 10mg oxys have been taken away. I have 7 days before I have to go back to work so it's now or never. The only reason I am keeping 2 pills is in case things get to extreme and I have to take a 5mg dose. My wife is holding onto them so they are not in my possession. I will only take them if I need them and will only take them 5mg at a time for a total of 4 doses in 7 days.

I am committed!! I will do this! I want my old life back!!!

I will be checking in here often I'm sure and I will take any encouraging advice I can get!

Also I figure tomorrow afternoon is when I will start to feel pretty bad. At the point what should I take as far as comfort meds? Gabapentin? A benzo? Muscle relaxer? Lope? How much should I take of what? I don't know know what would be best...
Click to expand...

Have you considered working with healthcare professionals? I know it seems scary but I think that if you could get the courage up to just say to them what you intially said on here they could help you. I don't know what country you are in but I am in the US & (I think) pain management doctors could help you to titrate down, if you don't want to do a treatment center.

I think it would be scary to muster up the courage to make the phone call, but, if you did, it might be worth the risk. I don't think they could like turn you in bc of HIPPA. But I don't work there so don't 100% know.

The benzos & opioids & combination of all that you are taking seems like a lot to kick on your own. Asking for help isn't a bad thing. Our country realizes we have a problem & I think there are many people who want to help.

Just a thought. Good luck & sending out positive energy to you!
 
I actually have some CBD oil. As well as a lot of THC oils and edibles. I don't care for marajuna though.
 
I need to give it my best try before I go to a doctor. It's not that I'm scared or embarrassed to seek professional help, it's that I need to try to do it on my own first.
 
Nakifantaki said:
I need to give it my best try before I go to a doctor. It's not that I'm scared or embarrassed to seek professional help, it's that I need to try to do it on my own first.
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I understand wanting to get yourself out on your own since you may thing you got into the predicament on your own, but, please be careful in mixing.

I am not a healthcare professional but know some of them. I was talking to one the other day who said that mixing that c
 
I am a healthcare professional. Lol.
I feel like the size of my habit is something I need to handle on my own. I talked to my doctor about cominf off these meds and he wanted to put me on suboxone... not what I want to do.
 
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