Benzos about to CT off xanax. need HELP

[Nightlites]

Ok so my benzo history is spotty before this year. Run throught 3-4 bars a day then run out of the 90 i had n cold turkey before i even knew what withdrawls felt like. Ive done this a few times lasting at most a month at a time.

This current run: i started eating a few bars here n there with my ex. Eventually that turned into 2 - 3 bars a day ( 4-6mg xanax) then i got fed up with her and my usage so i went into a detox (i was also heavily using meth at the time) and slept for 2 days straight then left. I abstained from any benzos for a week or 2 n got tired of the insomnia so i started taking .25 mg xanax once every 24 hours to be able to sleep/fend off withdrawls. (Stupid i know.) This dosage went on about 2 months. The initial binge went on about 3-4 months. So about a month ago i got off heroin and back onto subutex. Im on 4mg subutex atm. When i switched to sub i started taking xans again recreationaly/for withdrawls. So after only taking .25 every 24 hours for 2 months im now taking 3mg a day now and have been doing so for about a month.

I just moved and my connections are GONE. These were from the street not a dr. I have 14 mg xanax left right now.
I dont know where to go from here. I want off them completly. But i know im playing with fire in doing so cold turkey.
My subutex doc is rxing me .25mg but only 5 pills for a 7 day week so not a daily dose.

When i kicked last time it honestly wasnt that bad imo :/? No panic attacks basicly slept through it because i was up 6 days straight then crashed from meth so i slept the first 48 hours litteraly.

Idk how bad my wds will be this time but i have read up a lot on them so i think im psycing myself out just as i have before with opiate withdrawls making them worse in my head.

My plan was to order some etizolam but it is outlawed in my state.
Thinking of purchasing some phenibut, maybe kava?

I dont know where to go from here. I will be telling my doctor when i talk to him about possibly getting onto a valium taper.
That will be next week i might run out before i see him and idk what he will do if i tell my suboxone dr that ive been poppin bars while hes scripting me subs.

I WILL GOTO THE E.R. IF ALL ELSE FAILS.

Are there any rc's i could use to taper down my dose with at home without dr intervention? Etizolam unfortunatly is banned in TX.

Will phenibut help much?
I have a few 300mg gabapentin on hand
I have a bunch of CBDs (vape and edibles)

I really wanna do this but im scared the withdrawls wont be easy like last time. As you can see in total its been less a year. Maybe 7 months daily use with the most recent being .25 a day to stop withdrswls except this last 3 to 4 week binge working up to 3 mg day where im at now.

Any help is appreciated. I love you all and ive been with bluelight for so long now you guys have helped me through so many things. Love yal!

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

Hey NL, it sounds like you have a good grasp on the seriousness and scope of the situation which is good to hear, but I agree you have a formidable hurdle in front of you. While you 're not a stranger to this situation, this time might be a little bit rougher. My advice would be to divide what you have left into two daily doses to make it till you can see your doctor and fess up or like you said, go the ER if it really comes down to that. Adding a little bit more to the first couple of days but then becoming as frugal as possible with out having a bunch leftover by the time you see the Doc.

As far as RC benzos, I'm not a fan of powders that need volumetric dosing in PG/ EtOH or pellets. Would they help, sure, but as the window is closing fast I don't think you'd get them in time even if you did go through the crypto-currency BS. On top of that they get out of control much easier than standardized doses of known, studied benzos that are always in a safe dosage form.

I would save your comfort meds, Phenibut, Gabapentin, Cannabinoids, Valerian root?, till about the 2nd or 3rd day of your taper so as not to have any tolerance to them when they are really needed. Again i call them comfort meds because they will help with some symptoms but will not eliminate the dangers of abrupt benzo cessation. GabaP in very high doses can actually lower the seizure threshold so keep that in mind and stagger it with acidic drinks and/or a small snack or meal to get the most mileage out of them.
If need be have someone close to you help with dispensing the two daily doses (2x/day keeps steadier plasma levels) as you will have the impulse to dive into them at some point, I know I have in the past in similar situations.

Lastly stay in contact and with the company of at least one other person as much as possible when you get into the rough days as there is no warning sign for a seizure and a spotter could be extremely valuable in a situation like that.
I seriously wish you the best of luck with this Nightlites.

 

[Nightlites]

Thank you for your response man i really appreciate the reply.
As for the comfort meds... you say i should take them during the taper? As in while still taking the xans?
I really wish i had something longer lasting since il be taking it once every 12 hours or so... o well i have to play the hand ive been dealt.
The good thing is that im not currently working and am with my a family member and shes well aware of what im going through and very supportive.

The bad thing is she works 7 days a week 12hrs a day so i will be left alone all day everyday...
Im possibly going to look into a detox in my area because of the seizure issue. That scares me the most, ive never had one but i dont want to start now.
Im worried a detox would kick me off suboxone as well though.
And i dont have phenibut yet but i was lookin into purchasing some.
If i take my remaining supply and instead of taking 1mg 3 times a day switch to 1mg twice a day will insomnia still be a big factor if im able to take my night dose along with melatonin and valerian etc. ?

Sorry for so many questions im just trying to square everything away so that when time comes i will know that ive done everything i can.
And btw... i have enough to make it until my dr. App on weds even if i continue my normal dosages of 3 mg. I might actully have closer to 15mg total after monday.

 

[Jekyl Anhydride]

The insomnia part is usually par for the course. Mostly you sleep very lightly and have vivid dreams after a few days into a taper, it's just a sacrifice that has to be made for the sake of the situation. The comfort meds should be started when it gets rough and you feel like crap. They can help a little with sleep as well like the melatonin and valerian. The biggest factor about staying on your 3x a day is will you have something for sure when you see the Doctor? It might not hurt to have an extra days worth or two if you think it might be a hassle that takes a couple days or visiting of different places to find treatment/ help. I would put the benzo situation at the top of the list and deal with the suboxone clinic after this is handled.

If you try to plan your dose just before your family member leaves you should be okay for the period she's gone. It's when you chop way down, like below a mg per day that I would really worry about the seizure risk. The beginning taper is just miserable, but if you are still taking 50 % of your old daily dose you should be safe from seizure risk. Please ask away, it's no trouble, you might get others that want to share their opinions as well.

 

[Nightlites]

What i meant with the suboxone thing is: im currently taking 4mg daily. I WAS planning on getting to around 2mg in the coming weeks. I have put a halt to any sort of taper from the subutex. Im comfortable here and im not trying to taper both. If i had more benzos i absolutely would jump down and fast.
But im worried that if i check myself into a detox or rehab when it comes time to get off the benzos, or if my dr. Just cuts me off weds.
Im worried the detox will decide im going cold turkey from the subutex as well as xanax. Idk im just stressing i guess.

Does anyone have any experience with going to the E.R. while in benzo withdrawl??
What if anything were you givin while there?
Were you RX'ed anything?

So far today im going to be cutting my dose into 2mg (1mg in the a.m and 1mg at night) and i will keep you posted on how everythings going.
Also cutting Caffeine completely out of my diet. N got mad protein shakes if im not hungry. Time to set sail!