• Life Advice & Visual Arts Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    🌌 Share Your Dreams! 🌌
    📸 15 Years of Photo Contests 📸
  • LAVA Moderator: Mysterier

About moving out from your parents home

P

puking

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 30, 2013
Messages
56
I dont know if this is the right forum to post this. Moderators please move around if it isn't.

1.At what age did you move out of your parents/caretakers home?
2.What was the reason behind the move? (going to college, joining the army, marriying, going to prison, simple moving because you could afford a place, etc)
3.Was it a long-distance move or just down the block?
4.What happened next? How did you feel about it?? How did you manage? Do you have any regrets about it?

I'm 23. I have saved plenty of money and I have a regular job. I'd like to move to a farm some 13 miles away from my house. I've been living here since I was born but I feel like I just cant take it anymore, I can't stand my parents. The problem is that I have three dear dogs whom I take to walks pretty much everyday. If I move, I'm only gonna see them once or twice a week. I havent been able to make a decision until now.
 
17, kicked out, went to college living in the back of my buddy's van. Showered in the gym every morning when I couldn't slip into a friends house the night before. I had 28 credits in a pre-med program (wanted to be a Vet) and worked right down the street at UPS so I slept at the school a lot. I had the opportunity to go to Annapolis on a Running scholarship but was against the Vietnam War. School didn't work out, to many new beautiful girls and I couldn't keep my mind on anything but. Married one, it lasted a year, no kids.
 
I was 18, joined the Navy after my father and I disagreed about "his" roadmap of how I was going to spend my college years on "his dime."

It was definitely long distance because Kentucky is a landlocked state and I didnt want to be Coast Guard on the Ohio river. No regrets whatsoever. Attained a lot of formal and informal technical training/knowledge through my Navy education. And I also learned intangible partying knowledge by visiting many countries and cultures across the world. Later on, using my GI Bill, I received my Bachelor's degree and I'm very employable these days.

OP: my opinion about your situation is you do not have a driving force that makes living on your own a priority. That is a good news/bad news situation. I will say that serious relationship minded women aren't too attracted to men who still live with their parents (depending on the situation of course). Your current living situation is probably very comfortable which makes it difficult to uproot and change it "because you will miss your dogs." You have a regular job and I assume you are somewhat financially responsible so it should not be a tough transition.
 
I kinda moved out three times, and it was different each time, with different feelings and circumstances-but it changes with the circumstances and my relationship with my parents. I'll go through them.

1) Age 17, left for college 4.5 hours away, had a good relationship with my parents at the time but that of a kid; felt really good to get away from them and get some real freedom for the first time, but I did a little much of stuff just because I could, like eat junk food, not go to class and smoke weed (and then get depressed and anxious)
2) Age 20, got arrested and sent to rehab, my relationship was obviously strained with them at this point, but they realized there were other issues--I wasn't technically living at home at the time (transferred schools to somewhere 1 hour away, so felt more at home), but they paid for me to go to rehab but made clear if the same thing happened I was on my own---this actually helped me get closer to my parents because they treated me like an adult for the first time
3) Age 23, moved to CA (2800 miles from home) with my gf after graduating college-this was the real one, the feel good one, the leaving the nest. And damn it feels good. Kinda sucks having to accept adulthood but I think I'll survive, it's inevitable-and I did it on my terms, to somewhere I wanted to live with someone I can live with and supports me.

It's part of life, embrace it, but do it on good terms if you can (even though you can't stand your parents now when you can relate to them as fellow adults who have no real say over your life then things evolve).
 
you cant find a farm that can accommodate for your dogs also, op?

...kytnism...:|
 
My parents became divorced in while I was in high-school, so I was always bouncing around. I was late to move out. I was addicted to Meth/Oxy/Heroin by the time I graduated high school. Lived with my parents while I completed about half of college and got out of control on smack. Got into MMT and lived with my father for a while (still hadn't lived on my own yet).

Around 21-22 I got my shit together and moved in with this chick for a few years. We broke up when I decided I wanted more from life and moved back home to go to school.

Things were great until life started to beat me down. Just too much bad luck for me to handle, especially with my addictions, now our relationship is strained and I feel the pressure to GTFO.
 
1.At what age did you move out of your parents/caretakers home?
I was 17.

2.What was the reason behind the move? (going to college, joining the army, marriying, going to prison, simple moving because you could afford a place, etc)
went to university

3.Was it a long-distance move or just down the block?
about an hour and a half away, so I visited my parents/friends once or twice a month, but we weren't next door :)

4.What happened next? How did you feel about it?? How did you manage? Do you have any regrets about it?
Awesome. I'm 23 now and I've lived with my parents for like a month or two at a time during summers (when I was 18 and 19 I believe). Since then, I've been completely independent. My bf and I moved in together about a year and a half ago so I'm living with someone other than roommates (or myself, I lived by myself in a bachelor apartment for a year) which is kinda nice. Well, it's nice having an actual home instead of just temporary places for 6 months to a year. I really couldn't imagine living with my parents again. They live in the middle of no where, I don't relate at all to my hometown, it is miserable there, plus it sucks having to go by the rules at my parents. I like having my own rules here, like I'm not crazy irresponsible or anything, but it's different. Much better :)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top