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Abortion or keep it

S

stovepipe

Bluelighter
Joined
Aug 28, 2015
Messages
59
Serious relationship problem

Well yall I never thought Id be in this position AGAIN! My lady and I of over a year had an abortion months back. Since then we have been waiting for her to get on birth control. Being as shes a diabetic her options are limited. She has to be on her period in order to get the device put in. Well, she got pregnant again. Basically to make this story short I personally do not want kids and she knew that. She keep stalling and waiting for months. I know I am to blame here as well. She agreed to have another abortion but at the cost of our relationship.

I love this women and want to spend my life with her but am afraid its too late. The more I talk, the more wrong things come out of my mouth and the situation gets worse. She packed my things and told me to hit the road. Ive never been in such an emotional roller coaster. We had our lives planned out. I was going to move in early next year. We were going to travel a bit and enjoy life. I have no idea what to do and If I even have a chance of winning her back. At times I feel like I'm a POS for putting her through this again. Things were going amazing and I was looking forward to spending my years with her. A child now will only ruin things as we both are struggling and trying to break into a new carrier. On top of countless family and health problems. Ahhh man sometimes life sure throws you a curve ball. Hope you all have an amazing weekend!
 
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To be honest I see no question mark so I guess you are already know what you are doing. But if by any chance you are asking if you should keep it or leave it, the only thing I know is that you are not a man, you are not taking responsibilities.
 
I agree, I didn't see if you said if she's had the abortion yet, if she has not, then you know what you can do to reduce the odds of her leaving.
 
stovepipe said:
Well yall I never thought Id be in this position AGAIN! My lady and I of over a year had an abortion months back. Since then we have been waiting for her to get on birth control. Being as shes a diabetic her options are limited. She has to be on her period in order to get the device put in. Well, she got pregnant again. Basically to make this story short I personally do not want kids and she knew that. She keep stalling and waiting for months. I know I am to blame here as well. She agreed to have another abortion but at the cost of our relationship.

I love this women and want to spend my life with her but am afraid its too late. The more I talk, the more wrong things come out of my mouth and the situation gets worse. She packed my things and told me to hit the road. Ive never been in such an emotional roller coaster. We had our lives planned out. I was going to move in early next year. We were going to travel a bit and enjoy life. I have no idea what to do and If I even have a chance of winning her back. At times I feel like I'm a POS for putting her through this again. Things were going amazing and I was looking forward to spending my years with her. A child now will only ruin things as we both are struggling and trying to break into a new carrier. On top of countless family and health problems. Ahhh man sometimes life sure throws you a curve ball. Hope you all have an amazing weekend!
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I know I'm going to come off as a dickhead...but wrap your shit up/take the PROPER precautions. This is the 2nd time you guys will be having an abortion, and you know 100% you don't want kids. I think your selfish. And as an above poster mentioned, you are not a man.

Clearly she doesn't want to go through with the abortion. I'd kick you to the curb, too.

also, i believe she SHOULD'VE gotten the birth control or at least left you a while ago and found someone who wanted kids.

Like I said, I'm a dickhead.
 
crunchyplanets, I think you're being totally practical on this one. If he knows he doesn't want children he should use a rubber or get a vasectomy.
 
No ones a dickhead. Everyone has their own opinion. I appreciate everyone's comment. But I do not feel a child should be brought into this world unless both adults are ready both mentally and financially. If a person decides they want to abort, who am I to judge them? As for me not being a man...well, its my life, my decision. I am 100% not ready, not even close. Heck she doesn't even taken care of herself and her health problems. How can one have a kid if one cant even take care of themselves?

There is more to this situation than I'm telling. Should I have wrapped it up, yes. From the very beginning she insisted I just pull out. See I cant stay hard when wearing a rubber and she knew that. I tried in the first couple weeks to get on birth control for that reason and she agreed. Here we are a year later and she still isn't on it. She kept putting it off. There were times I was gonna nut and she wouldn't get off me and just laugh. Then supposedly take the day after pill the next day. After this situation I have decided to indeed get a vasectomy. The emotional effect this has had on me was too draining and no way would I want to go through it again with another partner.
 
You still made the choices you made. You didn't have to have sex, or have sex with her. By all means have a vasectomy, but it's a bit late where this current situation is concerned. What exactly are you asking for in this post? I mean by all means vent your feelings, I was just wondering if there was some aspect of this you were soliciting opinions of?
 
Ive never been in this type of situation on top of actually loving the person I'm with. I know a lot of BL'ers have been in crazy situations and just wanted to share and vent. Sorry for not clarifying.
 
It's shit like this that reinforces my pro-life stance. Take some fucking responsibility for your actions, the both of you.

crunchyplanets said:
I know I'm going to come off as a dickhead...but wrap your shit up/take the PROPER precautions. This is the 2nd time you guys will be having an abortion, and you know 100% you don't want kids. I think your selfish. And as an above poster mentioned, you are not a man.

Clearly she doesn't want to go through with the abortion. I'd kick you to the curb, too.

also, i believe she SHOULD'VE gotten the birth control or at least left you a while ago and found someone who wanted kids.

Like I said, I'm a dickhead.
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You don't sound like a dickhead, you sound totally rational to me.
 
stovepipe said:
No ones a dickhead. Everyone has their own opinion. I appreciate everyone's comment. But I do not feel a child should be brought into this world unless both adults are ready both mentally and financially. If a person decides they want to abort, who am I to judge them? As for me not being a man...well, its my life, my decision. I am 100% not ready, not even close. Heck she doesn't even taken care of herself and her health problems. How can one have a kid if one cant even take care of themselves?

There is more to this situation than I'm telling. Should I have wrapped it up, yes. From the very beginning she insisted I just pull out. See I cant stay hard when wearing a rubber and she knew that. I tried in the first couple weeks to get on birth control for that reason and she agreed. Here we are a year later and she still isn't on it. She kept putting it off. There were times I was gonna nut and she wouldn't get off me and just laugh. Then supposedly take the day after pill the next day. After this situation I have decided to indeed get a vasectomy. The emotional effect this has had on me was too draining and no way would I want to go through it again with another partner.
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Oh my.

There are a few things that are concerning here.

1) You STILL came inside of her, rather than at the VERY least pulling out, even though you are an adult and know that this is how people get pregnant. Either there is a serious lack of education going on here or nobody is giving a shit until it hits the fan and that is so not fair to a child that comes out of this.

I will say this though - if you love this person then maybe it is time to man up and take care of this child. Will you regret losing her because of this? My daughter was an accident and I wasn't ready but I can't imagine my life without her, and I never regret the decision that I made to have her. And I am totally pro-choice.



2) Using the morning after pill as a form of birth control is irresponsible on her part.

3) You KNOW you don't want kids. And yet, this is the second time. And now it's foisted on her shoulders.

Overall, both of you are better walking away from each other until you can both take some responsibility for your own sexual health and family planning.


I know it's really easy to get caught up in the moment but this is the second time so I think the old adage of "fool me twice" applies here.
 
stovepipe said:
I tried in the first couple weeks to get on birth control for that reason and she agreed. Here we are a year later and she still isn't on it. She kept putting it off. There were times I was gonna nut and she wouldn't get off me and just laugh. Then supposedly take the day after pill the next day.
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She clearly wants a kid. If she ends up wanting you back, i suggest you say no. Just a suggestion.


yes, vasectomy, absolutely. 100%.
 
Why haven't you gotten a vasectomy yet? You know and have known for a long you don't want babies ever, so this should be an obvious move.

If she means enough to you, would putting it up for adoption save the relationship?
 
socko said:
Why haven't you gotten a vasectomy yet? You know and have known for a long you don't want babies ever, so this should be an obvious move.

If she means enough to you, would putting it up for adoption save the relationship?
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This. If you do not want the child she's going to have, then look into adoption. Or take responsibility and be a parent for your kid.
 
There are many reasons why some people can't get a vasectomy

- costs involved (depends on a health plan)
- age (in some countries, you need to be a certain age)

If she doesn't want an abortion, it seems like the wants the child. And if she chooses to have a child, you will have to be responsible about it. It's pretty much in her hands. It does seem odd that she has been waiting to get on birth control though.

This does remind me to remind my partner about that as he turned 25 recently.
 
I hate hearing stories like this! It infuriates me to know people can be in a relationship, have sex and yet be so careless. If she wants kids, and as you stated you don't, then this is just a game to her in hopes you change your mind. Ya'll need to really be adults and don't be so negligent with sex. There are so many people who would love the opportunity to birth a child. It is sad to think people regard pregnancy as being disposable. At the very least, get a vasectomy so you are at least putting forth some effort to not have children.
 
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