i started going to AA meetings again but i have no intention on quitting completely i still wanna shoot pills for not just the pain relief although that's the bigger reason but i also want to do it for the high.... does that make me delusional and and ahole for first thinking i can actually only shoot up when i'm in the worst days of pain and leave it at that thus avoiding wds and second the being an ahole for lying to my sponsor and friends in the program