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A sexually selfish (female) partner

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whippchristopher

Greenlighter
Joined
Feb 17, 2015
Messages
1
Okay, so I'm a 25 year-old male who has been in a committed relationship and living with the same woman for five years. I owe this girl a lot because she gave me a stable home to live in at a time in my life when I was lost and self-destructive. I'm not a mean guy or anything, I just got lost in a downward spiral of drugs and alcohol and she helped me get a fresh start in a new town.
Anyway, I love this girl very much and we used to have a very adventurous sex life but over time she has withheld sex more and more from me and when she does relent she has a "lets get this over with" attitude and I find this to be very hurtful. When we do have sex it always starts with me giving her 5-10 minutes of oral sex until she cums and then we have vaginal intercourse for what feels like 90 seconds while she lays there motionless and I get myself off. I broached the subject with her that I'd like a little more stimulation from her, either with her hand or with her mouth, and she says that I don't need that to get off whereas she does need me to go down on her so she can have an orgasm, and that I should basically be lucky to get what I get.
Now, I like to think of myself as a pragmatic kind of guy, and sure, there are certain forms of sex that some women aren't comfortable with and I get that, but isn't it a little selfish to let me strain my neck, bury my face in her crotch for several minutes, and get covered in her juices when she isn't even willing to do the smallest gesture for me? I get that she "needs" oral copulation to get off and I technically don't, but I kinda feel like she doesn't care about me when she does this, especially considering that I have to practically beg just for the privledge to engage in any kind of sex with her. And honestly, my self esteem takes a huge hit from this.
I don't have any real friends in my new town but that's okay because we get along very well in practically every other aspect of life so having each other is enough. For this reason I don't want to break up with her but when I consider the fact that this pattern of behavior will likely never get any better, as evidenced by the fact that even bringing up the subject sends her into a rage -- and we're not even married -- I do start to wonder if I'm only with her because I don't have any friends or a home to go back to. I hate feeling this way, I feel so guilty because to leave someone over sex makes the relationship feel so cheap, but I'm tired of being unhappy.
Any advice?
 
Well first, I'm curious about the rest of your relationship. Are things going well? What else is happening with you two?

Yeah, females "generally" need a bit more work to get off. Intercourse doesn't get me off either. Only oral. But that doesn't mean the female can't do a bit more for the male. Maybe she doesn't want to do blow jobs (not everyone does them) but a hand job would be nice, to get you worked up before intercourse ;)

Maybe encourage more foreplay. Start by just using your fingers. Encourage something for her. Maybe make a more romantic scene. Candles, etc.

You should also try to make new friends :)
 
I think it's time that you tell her that you're not getting what you need sexually and it's ruining the relationship.

I dare say that if she is with holding sex and then acts so selfishly when you do have sex then she is not happy with some aspect of the relationship.

Sex isn't the most important aspect of a relationship but for many, me included, it is a very important part.
It makes me sad to know that she is happy to let you make the effort of pleasuring her but doesn't do anything to reciprocate it and just lays there like a blow up doll.

If it was me i'd give her the ultimatum of trying harder or end of relationship. If she's bored with your sex life you could try something different and exciting to see if this improves things in the bedroom.

Five years is a long time to be with the same sexual partner, after 5 years my OH and I were beginning to get bored with each other sexually and started swinging/open relationship so that we could enjoy different, new and exciting sex with new partners guilt free. If anything it has just meant the sex is even better because we've learnt new things from other people. Might be worth a try for you if she is interested.
 
Yea I think it's time to move on. When sex feels like a burden in the relationship, it's just headed in a downward spiral from there. You seem like a sweet guy. Here's something you could try. I also need oral to get off. So I bought myself a nice toy to use during sex so now we get off with each other. Surprise her and try that. It doesn't put so much pressure on u both then. And it Def does the trick. Make sure it's a vibrating one where u can control the vibration p. S. It makes the sex out of the world. So many different things u can experiment with.. ?
 
you need to get independence, friends and hobbies.

at the mo you are co-dependent so what bargaining tool have you ?
 
feign losing interest in sex for a long time and see if she makes any moves or shows any signs that she misses/need some.
 
SIDE-MAN!

I SAID.. SIDE-MAN!!

DOn't be a sideman bruv. You giving her head but she's not returning AND you're even begging for sex?

There's something we refer to that kind of moist behaviour as..... SIDEMAN!

But really tho man. She sounds like she ain't worth it if you're not happy. In life you must always do what makes you happy
 
So you go down on her and she won't go down on you.

Wow that is the reverse of today's double standard.

Usually getting a bj is obligatory during sex where giving a woman oral is not.

I personally have never fucked a chick that had to get oral from me for her to get off but they were saying they might need it, but when it was all said and done it was not neccesary.

I personally would not want to eat out a woman who wouldn't blow me.

Sounds like she has a lil jar she keeps your balls in. Maybe you should dump her.
 
dopemaster said:
Sounds like she has a lil jar she keeps your balls in. Maybe you should dump her.
Click to expand...

hahaha mannn. I feel sorry for this guy. I ain't never gonna let a woman fuck with me like that bruv. That's wayy too moist.

OP you got the balls, listen to what Weezy said "Nd if she get greedy ima starve her o' da dick"

and if she couldnt be bothered then she probably has a side-man. That'll make 2 in her life.

Na but screew her honestly I keed, we all sometimes have women fuck with us like this. One of my good friend's ex's was with him for several months and NEVER gave him head. He still doesn't know what head feels like. Up to this day this girl only wants guys to eat her all night.

It's like what they say "god place woman here for them to woe on man"
 
^
You must have a nice cha cha if the guy is gonna eat it an like it especially if the guy is gonna get off no matter what. I eat pussy sometimes.

It just depends on the woman.

I am not gonna be like "hey girl, listen your pink taco ain't the freshest one around, in fact in kinda smells weird and not in a good way, but hey at least it is tight." The thing is not all vaginas are created equal. Some smell and taste better than others. I dunno why that is. I hear all cocks taste the same as long as good hygiene is used, but some chicks have some weird tasting vaginas. If it's not butterscotch or tang flavored and more fishy, I dunno it better be pretty.

I was just thinking the OP should just stick it and not lick it and just she how she likes it.
 
Dump her asap. When somebody wants you sexually, they won't be able to keep their hands off you or IT. Not all the time but she should want you sometimes n at least try to get your dick hard. Seems like she only does sexual shit with you to appease you. Not please you or even herself. But it's what ppl in a relationship are spose to do. Get away from this broad. Sex is the most basic thing to do when you're with somebody. It sound like she don't even want you. She only do it cuz you want to.

You said when you do have sex with her, you have to get her off first (it's cool that you actually care about her pleasure n not only yours) n then she jus lays there. Sounds like a horrible sex life. There's better sex to be had. Jus cuz this chick don't want you doesn't mean that nobody does. If you can, get your bread up n move. It's gon be hard to get away from her and have a better relationship with somebody else if yall are still living together.

There's better sex out there. Jus sayin.
 
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