whippchristopher
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Feb 17, 2015
- Messages
- 1
Okay, so I'm a 25 year-old male who has been in a committed relationship and living with the same woman for five years. I owe this girl a lot because she gave me a stable home to live in at a time in my life when I was lost and self-destructive. I'm not a mean guy or anything, I just got lost in a downward spiral of drugs and alcohol and she helped me get a fresh start in a new town.
Anyway, I love this girl very much and we used to have a very adventurous sex life but over time she has withheld sex more and more from me and when she does relent she has a "lets get this over with" attitude and I find this to be very hurtful. When we do have sex it always starts with me giving her 5-10 minutes of oral sex until she cums and then we have vaginal intercourse for what feels like 90 seconds while she lays there motionless and I get myself off. I broached the subject with her that I'd like a little more stimulation from her, either with her hand or with her mouth, and she says that I don't need that to get off whereas she does need me to go down on her so she can have an orgasm, and that I should basically be lucky to get what I get.
Now, I like to think of myself as a pragmatic kind of guy, and sure, there are certain forms of sex that some women aren't comfortable with and I get that, but isn't it a little selfish to let me strain my neck, bury my face in her crotch for several minutes, and get covered in her juices when she isn't even willing to do the smallest gesture for me? I get that she "needs" oral copulation to get off and I technically don't, but I kinda feel like she doesn't care about me when she does this, especially considering that I have to practically beg just for the privledge to engage in any kind of sex with her. And honestly, my self esteem takes a huge hit from this.
I don't have any real friends in my new town but that's okay because we get along very well in practically every other aspect of life so having each other is enough. For this reason I don't want to break up with her but when I consider the fact that this pattern of behavior will likely never get any better, as evidenced by the fact that even bringing up the subject sends her into a rage -- and we're not even married -- I do start to wonder if I'm only with her because I don't have any friends or a home to go back to. I hate feeling this way, I feel so guilty because to leave someone over sex makes the relationship feel so cheap, but I'm tired of being unhappy.
Any advice?
Anyway, I love this girl very much and we used to have a very adventurous sex life but over time she has withheld sex more and more from me and when she does relent she has a "lets get this over with" attitude and I find this to be very hurtful. When we do have sex it always starts with me giving her 5-10 minutes of oral sex until she cums and then we have vaginal intercourse for what feels like 90 seconds while she lays there motionless and I get myself off. I broached the subject with her that I'd like a little more stimulation from her, either with her hand or with her mouth, and she says that I don't need that to get off whereas she does need me to go down on her so she can have an orgasm, and that I should basically be lucky to get what I get.
Now, I like to think of myself as a pragmatic kind of guy, and sure, there are certain forms of sex that some women aren't comfortable with and I get that, but isn't it a little selfish to let me strain my neck, bury my face in her crotch for several minutes, and get covered in her juices when she isn't even willing to do the smallest gesture for me? I get that she "needs" oral copulation to get off and I technically don't, but I kinda feel like she doesn't care about me when she does this, especially considering that I have to practically beg just for the privledge to engage in any kind of sex with her. And honestly, my self esteem takes a huge hit from this.
I don't have any real friends in my new town but that's okay because we get along very well in practically every other aspect of life so having each other is enough. For this reason I don't want to break up with her but when I consider the fact that this pattern of behavior will likely never get any better, as evidenced by the fact that even bringing up the subject sends her into a rage -- and we're not even married -- I do start to wonder if I'm only with her because I don't have any friends or a home to go back to. I hate feeling this way, I feel so guilty because to leave someone over sex makes the relationship feel so cheap, but I'm tired of being unhappy.
Any advice?