• Philosophy and Spirituality
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules
    Threads of Note Socialize
  • P&S Moderators: Xorkoth | Madness

A secret

D

DimeBagJohnny

Bluelighter
Joined
Jul 26, 2015
Messages
76
I've felt like there is a huge secret that everyone knows but me. I've felt this way for a long time. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way and if you resolved it or not. Also...
How?
 
You can't resolve it other than through love.
I also can't be sure anything exists but me.
 
That's what my friend used to say.
Now he's in a psych ward after using stimulents and getting a paranoia psychosis.
Tread lightly...
 
Come to think of it, stimulant-induced psychosis is something that really triggers this feeling in me. I need to lay off of the Adderall and related drugs. It scares the living shit out of me when it's at its worst. Odd you should say that because this is a time in my life when stimulants are abundant. I'll take your post as a sign I need to slow down.
 
^
"Just because you are paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you"
-Joseph Keller
 
I have a voice often doing that "He/she knows it" or doesn't know it

I'm Schizophrenic, offcourse, still puzzeling though. I do think it means something btw. Something about relations to self/others. Some people play this perfectly well, and some don't

Like someone can do a high-five perfectly well, where it just clashes beautifully, and other people fumble... I think it's something like that
 
I think a lot of my paranoia results from me smoking a LOT of weed in my teenage years. It made me, well, to put it simply, experience insanity quite often. I thought my own friends wanted to kill me. I actually think some of my paranoia back then was justified. I quit smoking weed a long time ago, but what I went through in my teenage years still effects me. I am 27 years old right now. I will make thread about it sometime in the future.
 
DimeBagJohnny said:
I've felt like there is a huge secret that everyone knows but me. I've felt this way for a long time. I'm just wondering if anyone else has ever felt this way and if you resolved it or not. Also...
How?
Click to expand...

The NSA is watching everyone but they have so much data they only watch stuff that involves terrorist or is downright entertaining.
 
I'm not sure if this is exactly relevant to what you are describing, but have you ever had a moment where you make a huge realization — like, a life changing one — you're all buzzing and excited from that newfound clarity and you tell someone close to you while in that heightened state? Well, its happened to me many times and it is always stunning to me that instead of the person being amazed, or it opening their eyes, they're just like "really, you're figuring this out now?" Jesus, well why did nobody tell me. They know me better than anyone else, could they not see that after countless philosophical discussions and questions it was the answer I was looking so hard for? It could have changed my life. Funny how that goes.
 
^would you have believed them, though; would it have had the same impact?
(frustrating as it is, people tend not to listen until they already know.)
 
that's exactly it. Some days I forget. It's just startling that my mom, for example, one of the most unconsciously driven and exasperating people I know has that same ability.
 
sorry, that isn't totally clear. My mom always acts like she knows exactly what is good for me better than I do, even when she is totally wrong. There is usually very little depth there that I can perceive; like the shallow petty stuff you often read in tabloids. She has no qualms telling me what I should be doing even though I'm in my mid-thirties now. She can't help herself. So in spite of that, when I make a major breakthrough in my understanding and share it with her, it's like she knew all along yet never bothered to tell me. Not just "told you so" kinda knowing. She actually gets it, and can add things to it. Later, she goes on doing what she does like it never happened. She often doesn't even remember what was said, just that we had a nice talk.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
People do not like to admit faults, especially your parents.

Get used to it. They want to retain their authority figure status.

Just show them you are an adult and verbally state it. They will stop worrying when they feel as though you can handle yourself. They will never stop trying to tell you what they know about the world though as it is what they feel is their job.

Sometimes you might feel better if your parents did not care because they would not be trying to tell you what is good for you. Just take it with a grain of salt. You will miss her when she is gone so take the good with the bad.

If you feel smothered well get a job or go to school and move out. That is being an adult.

I have my mother living with me and man it sucks. She needed a place to stay and well I had lived on my own for a very very long time. It is usually a room mate situation. Still she tries to give me advice and alot of it is helpful but unnecessary as I already can hold my own dick so to speak.

I already know that is a good line but just remember when you eat their food and live in their house they kinda call the shots. As a teen you have a right to refuse some things as you were born into that situation but as an adult there are no excuses for not paving your own path.
 
not sure you got the gist of what I was saying, but understandable since I brought my mommy into the discussion :) My point was addressing the OP's question: if there is a secret everybody knows, they sure ain't letting on to it till we figure it out for ourselves.

If you feel smothered well get a job or go to school and move out. That is being an adult.
Click to expand...

For the record, I do not live with my parents, I have a job, I'm in my mid-thirties with advanced degrees and my mom has mental health issues, so I've done my fair share of playing the part of the adult, and while I appreciate your encouragement, it really doesn't fit so well. A month ago I spent 2 weeks helping her through one of her episodes (a kind of inability to distinguish dreams from reality) and love her dearly and the relationship we have is for life. Nonetheless, she a master at finding my buttons and pushing them so my path is to remove the buttons so nobody can push them.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
levelsBeyond said:
Nonetheless, she a master at finding my buttons and pushing them so my path is to remove the buttons so nobody can push them.
Click to expand...

Now there's a great insight into parent/offspring relations! (actually into all human relations which is ultimately what our families end up being the best training ground for.)<3
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top