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a question for the guys...

I had sex with this one girl the same weekend we first met and hung out, a number of years ago. She's asleep in the next room right now.

No hard and fast rules on this. At this very moment, you either trust that this person you have feelings for is someone worth giving that much of yourself to, or not.
 
Cosmic Charlie said:
Ive dated a few girls I had sex with right after meeting

Never really worked out to well but sleeping with them quickly never discouraged me from dating them
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same i think if your comfortable with someone whether it takes a few hours to be comfortable with them or a few weeks you should go for it

but if i have to wait more than 2 weeks i just drop her cause it makes me feel like when i finally do get some i will have to wait forever every time i want some
 
In my opinion there should be no set date or time. Think of it like this. When you first meet someone you are into you don't want to make love to them, you want to fuck their brains out. Right? Well, if you really like a guy and want to be with him then have sex with him when it will feel like making love, not when it will feel like hardcore sweaty monkey sex. Not that there's anything wrong with a freaky hot sex encounter but it really is poison if you do something like that too soon with someone you want to be with seriously. - I'm a guy btw.
 
I never stayed with a girl that made me wait.
I've been married 35 years now and we went to bed together the same night we first kissed.
It might sound strange to you, but I have never really falken in love with anybody I haven't had sex with. Early teen crushes excepted.
 
Sex is a huge part of why I would date someone, I need to see what they can do or are into ASAP to get that side of the assessment out of the way. I generally don't wait around if a girl is playing games or holding out on purpose.
 
starlet26 said:
so...i was having this conversation with a male friend of mine about how long is the appropriate time to wait before having sex with a guy that a girl actually wants to date. this is not including one time things or a friends w/benefits situation. he sees no reason in waiting at all. he says it doesn't matter.

i, as a female was always told that if you have sex with a guy too soon he won't date you because he'll think your a slut. and guys will not date sluts. have sex with them, yes, but not date them. however, if we wait too long, the guy will lose interest and move on.

i have found in my experience its best to wait just a bit, but to do it before things get too serious because if we're not...um...compatable in that area then the relationship won't work anyway and i don't want to waste my time.

so guys? what do you think? how long are we supposed to tease you before we give it up?
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would you say that you are worth waiting for? you just gotta know that and you can make him wait all you want. confidence is key on both sides

my view is, if i like you, im willing to wait and if i do get it too soon, ur right, ill lose interest quickly... unless the sex was amazing and then i keep needing/wanting more.
 
i dont think the timing matters its just whenever its right. one thing i have noticed from personal experience is that if you do it too often with them or after that dont make them work for it.(such as just always being Down or not making them forplay you up a bit then we loose interest) the trick is to alway make them want it so that they have to earn it. once we stop having to earn it it looses its luster. thats just my opinion
 
3 dates then sex?!? That would be awsome. Took me a month and a half to get my gf in the sack. That's like 10 dates later and we spent every day together. But in the end it was way worth it. One of the best days of my life cuz it was both our first times (lots of porn over the years let me know what to do so it was great!)
 
lots of porn over the years let me know what to do so it was great!
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ha depends on the porn your watching i guess, because there are some things in porn that are not so good to try. but but good job on the suceess primal
 
MyDoorsAreOpen said:
I had sex with this one girl the same weekend we first met and hung out, a number of years ago. She's asleep in the next room right now.
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Me, too. :D

As long as it is a mutual decision and not frivolous, *serious* potential awaits. That, at least, has been my blessed experience. Getting snagged on the mechanics and details in the first moments of knowing one another can really ruin it! One of the things that initially told me how much my girl would mean to me later was how open, loving and real she was; to unearth that aspect of her personality was no hardship whatsoever.

~ vaya
 
I know that for me personally, I make a conscious decision whether or not I want to date someone regardless of when the pants come off. I think there's the misconception that all guys just want sex and that if you have sex too quickly that he'll get what he wants and run away after. Of course this only really applies to guys who were only in it for sex in the first place, at least in my opinion. If I'm interested in having a relationship with a girl, whether or not we have sex right away or a couple weeks after doesn't really make any difference. Its not like I have to be fooled in to liking someone's personality by having them withhold sex.

If its someone I'm interested in and want to date, then I don't mind waiting so long as there's at least some physical way that I can express my attraction and feelings for them. I'm not really a one night stand kind of guy though, so if I'm getting physical with a girl odds are more likely than not that I want to turn it in to something.
 
nearjat said:
The main reason I think sex in a relationship should wait is because it's waaaay better once you're more comfortable with each other. I'm a guy btw
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I'm going to agree with this. Waiting is important for me. It may not be for everybody.
 
You have to wait at least a few weeks but it really all depends on how serious the relationship is.

Basically watch out for guys that are like Barney from "How I Met Your Mother" They do exist, I personally knew a guy that said all the right things, get the girl to give it up within a few weeks and then he would erase all contact with her. It really was disgusting.
 
I had sex with my wife on the first date. We have been together almost 6 years now. We were compatible right off the bat. I don't think there should be any "time limit" to when you should start. Just when it "feels right".
 
Toughy well not from experence unfortunatly but given todays pace of living second third date at most but thats just me mm mm yes try put the b,oot on other foot what if you wanted it bad and the guy held out would you tease to get what u wanted ?? Ask ur self that mm be good if not be carefull
 
Well I'm a girl but I actually ended up hooking up with this guy pretty recently the same night that we met. Him and I have been talking for about a week now and he told me that he really likes me and wants to get to know me better.

I think it depends on the kind of vibe the girl puts off. I wouldn't consider myself a promiscuous person, and I think he thought the same. If you come off as desperate/willing to fuck anybody then I think he will think less of you, but if you just seem genuinely attracted and things get steamy and you end up fucking right away then I think it's all good. Just my opinion.
 
The shortest time from meeting to sex I ever experienced was a couple of hours.

The longest time from meeting to sex I ever experienced was about 30 years. Another time there was a 3 year wait.

So it doesn't only differ from guy to guy, it can also differ enormously for one guy. I don't really think there are any rules. Waiting for the sake of waiting strikes me as rubbish. But it is only ever going to be enjoyable when the context is right for both people. I don't have any feeling that women who have shared sex with me after a short acquaintance are in any way better or worse than those who've spent a long time.

& I'm still in contact with the couple of hours lady and the 30 year one.
 
FUSIONZ said:
I had sex with my wife on the first date. We have been together almost 6 years now. We were compatible right off the bat. I don't think there should be any "time limit" to when you should start. Just when it "feels right".
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I know this quote is from 5 years ago but the same happened with my wife. Every situation is different but I feel sex relatively early is beneficial. Once you get naked with someone, you can relax a bit and be more yourself. This comfortability can both make and break potential relationships, but either way I think it is better to have the perception you are actually basing the future with this person as they actually are.
 
Well.. I don't waste time beating around the bush so I will ask him flat out what his intentions are. So if he says he just wants to have sex it depends on how hot he is.. Lol! Although that does not guarantee I will fuck him. A couple have been shocked when I wasn't offended once they admitted they just wanted sex. Sometimes asking is unnecessary because people are pretty easy to read.. And honestly I could give a rats ass if someone thinks I'm slutty. If he don't like me the way I am then he can hit the ol dusty trail. The whole thing is a bogus social construct anyway. Why does it matter?

If I want to possibly pursue a relationship I try to get to know him first.. and hold off on sex for an unspecified amount of time, just once it feels right. In this situation it's better to wait solely for the purpose of finding out if we are compatible. Lady in the streets, freak in the sheets ;)

On the other hand, if I'm the one who initiated contact with him.. I'm pretty clear about my intentions. Might wanna go on a date and maybe pursue a relationship, or just make a new friend. Not really a fan of one night stands but I've had a couple of fuck buddies, and a few boyfriends.. Some men don't like when women are this bold but others don't mind.

Being a woman is so complicated! Haha
 
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