Nicksellsnissan
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2013
- Messages
- 4
I wanted to write this as I feel it is my duty to provide a much needed pick up to those who are suffering from LTC. But first a bit about my story. I started taking mdma last year in small doses, and loved it so much I got carried away. I have never been one to do drugs or even drink alcohol, but I found mdma to be a beautiful experience. Naively, I figured that there couldn't be too much of a good thing. I went from taking .1 every other weekend to taking .3 every weekend, and eventually .5 - 1.0 with daily redosing. My binge took place over the course of a month, and eventually I lost any sense of the mdma effects no matter how much I took.
I woke up one morning after my last roll, and knew something was not right. I realized I had gone over board. What followed was a day full of vomiting at random, and nervous shakiness. The depression that had begun grasped me was indescribable. I felt like I was losing grip on reality, merely grasping at the threads of what used to be my mental comfort.
I waited for the feeling to subside, but it didn't. It lasted month after month after month. I eventually got to the point 3 months later where I was scared that I would never return to normal. The anxiety and depression was unbearable and I had become a nervous wreck. I almost lost my job, could not see my family, and could not associate with people without becoming a nervous disaster. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think. I can only describe it as absolute hell.
Fast forward 7 more months. Here I am one year later and I am confident in saying that I am 100% better. I am back to my old self, and can feel a deep sense of love and appreciation for myself and others. I am once again balanced and in control. I wanted to write this as reassurance for others to keep going and keep moving forward through your withdrawl. MDMA is a beautiful experience, but if it is abused the consequences can be disastrous. I learned the hard way.
The whole time I kept asking myself - is this normal? Will I ever recover? Should I give up? Will I ever live a normal life again? The answer I now know is yes.
You will recover. You will get back to your old self 100%. It will not be an easy journey, and hopefully you can learn somethings about yourself during the fight.
Here is what I find helped me the most. Meditation, 5-HTP, proper diet, exercise, forcing myself to socialize, deep introspective thought, affirmations, and positive self talk.
Never give up. This will pass. When you come out on the other side, you will have a new respect for mdma, and will be able to help others with their hard learned lesson.
Keep going.
NJS
I woke up one morning after my last roll, and knew something was not right. I realized I had gone over board. What followed was a day full of vomiting at random, and nervous shakiness. The depression that had begun grasped me was indescribable. I felt like I was losing grip on reality, merely grasping at the threads of what used to be my mental comfort.
I waited for the feeling to subside, but it didn't. It lasted month after month after month. I eventually got to the point 3 months later where I was scared that I would never return to normal. The anxiety and depression was unbearable and I had become a nervous wreck. I almost lost my job, could not see my family, and could not associate with people without becoming a nervous disaster. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think. I can only describe it as absolute hell.
Fast forward 7 more months. Here I am one year later and I am confident in saying that I am 100% better. I am back to my old self, and can feel a deep sense of love and appreciation for myself and others. I am once again balanced and in control. I wanted to write this as reassurance for others to keep going and keep moving forward through your withdrawl. MDMA is a beautiful experience, but if it is abused the consequences can be disastrous. I learned the hard way.
The whole time I kept asking myself - is this normal? Will I ever recover? Should I give up? Will I ever live a normal life again? The answer I now know is yes.
You will recover. You will get back to your old self 100%. It will not be an easy journey, and hopefully you can learn somethings about yourself during the fight.
Here is what I find helped me the most. Meditation, 5-HTP, proper diet, exercise, forcing myself to socialize, deep introspective thought, affirmations, and positive self talk.
Never give up. This will pass. When you come out on the other side, you will have a new respect for mdma, and will be able to help others with their hard learned lesson.
Keep going.
NJS
