I went from smoking ~1/8th of high grade cannabis-usually indica heavy strains-everyday to nothing with no taper, no meds, no alcohol, nothing.
I could barely form proper sentences. My ADD was the worst it could have ever been. A couple weeks after getting arrested, I got in a car accident because my thoughts were racing so bad.
I used it to numb emotional pain. Boy, did that emotional pain return 5-fold because I had been stagnant in every way, shape and form. I was a social recluse, I couldn't eat without smoking, I had trouble sleeping without smoking, and I just had trouble feeling normal because all of a sudden, I had to focus on the problems in my life. Pot doesn't make the pain go away, it simply distracts you from it for a brief period. I had developed severe anxiety and depression and was a burnout. The mood swings-goddamn the mood swings-I was so sensitive and would get so pissed about having to make any effort to do anything that I didn't want to do because instead of sitting around, stoned all day, I actually had to give a damn about myself which is something that I hadn't done in...6 years? Way before my pot use even started, I hated myself in many ways.
I'm not comparing pot w/d to opiate/benzo w/d, neither of which I've gone through. I am simply discussing what I experienced. YMMV
I will say that this was worsened by the fact that my immediate stop was because I was arrested, charged with a felony, had to move a few hours from where I'd lived my entire life up to that point, leave my grandmother who was doing more for me than I knew, and realize that a bunch of people were using me...all at 18 years old.
The resulting shockwave left me with horrible depersonalization which-9 months later-I'm now being able to break out of by working out, going out more, and doing my damnest to fight social stress. I got uncomfortable ANY time it came to talk to another human being.
Pot gave me an emotional blanket I sought for so long, removing that blanket has been really, really fucking tough. I haven't smoked since last summer and yes, it is sometimes still tough feeling emotions and not just feeling empty. I will say that not smoking has made me into a stronger person now that I'm starting to take care of myself.
Once again, this was my experience. My life hasn't been easy-I doubt anyone else's has either-but marijuana and I were like a boyfriend and girlfriend that were horrible for each other but stuck together because the sex was that good.
I use to eat, breathe, sleep and think marijuana. I am no longer that person. I hope this is enlightening. I hope-no I KNOW I'll be able to control myself when I can smoke again. This time around I will have the ability to believe in myself by my side and I'm going to do my best to never let that go again like I did in middle school. I will continue to have a healthy lifestyle and progress in life rather than being so detached from reality.
