A difficult dilemma...would appreciate advice

[SilentRoller]

This is a bit of a difficult one. To cut the crap, I have a friend who will sometimes join in with our drug taking, and all is well. However, the issue comes when after being up all night, consuming 6-700mg of MDMA, and consuming alcohol (beer/vodka) until 7am he will then get in his car and drive 5 hours back home. So much so, that if he is feeling a bit tired before driving back, he will bosh a pill before getting in the car to keep himself awake.

I have tired the whole talking to him, but it has got to the point where the next time this happens, I am considering telling him that I will shop him to the police if he gets in his car and drives. I love the lad dearly, but I am concerned that he may not only kill himself, but someone else when driving in the state. Don't get me wrong, I am aware of the status 'grasses' get in this scene, but I somehow feel that this is different as he could kill someone. Could someone please give their opinion on this, as I'm a bit stuck between a rock and a hard place.


SR

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Hmm, difficult one this. How much of a state is he exactly when he gets in his car? Has he got the constitution and tolerance of an elephant? If he's rockin an a reelin all over the shop them I appreciate your concern. But if he's still pretty much in control then I'd leave it. I don't believe there is ONE person on this site that can honestly say they haven't driven whilst intoxicated on something at least once in their lives.

 

[SilentRoller]

How much of a state is he exactly when he gets in his car?

Well for one he would be over the drink-drive limit drastically, still gurning and chain smoking joints on the way home. He does MDMA multiple times a week though, so his tolerance is obviously sky high. This is neither here or there. It's all well and good, until someones (yours?) mother, daughter or son gets killed in a car crash due to him, and then people are the first to complain. Sorry if I'm coming across hostile here, it's just a bit of a pet peeve of mine. I don't get what is so hard about not driving after you have been drinking/smashing it.

I don't believe there is ONE person on this site that can honestly say they haven't driven whilst intoxicated on something at least once in their lives.

I never have, not even cannabis.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Dob him in. He could knock over a child. There's NEVER an excuse for drink driving. It's wrong. How would you feel if he killed an innocent child n you hadn't done anything to stop him? Blood would be on your hands too

Evey

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Well for one he would be over the drink-drive limit drastically, still gurning and chain smoking joints on the way home. He does MDMA multiple times a week though, so his tolerance is obviously sky high. This is neither here or there. It's all well and good, until someones (yours?) mother, daughter or son gets killed in a car crash due to him, and then people are the first to complain. Sorry if I'm coming across hostile here, it's just a bit of a pet peeve of mine. I don't get what is so hard about not driving after you have been drinking/smashing it.



I never have, not even cannabis.

So you've NEVER had ONE toke on a spliff and driven? You've never had one beer and driven? You've never driven on a comedown? You've never driven when tired, or ill, or in any way other than totally compus mentis? Do you actually drive? I'm not trying to be a dick, or defending anyone who drives when incapable, but it so much depends upon circumstances. In my considerable experience on the road in all types of vehicles (except HGVs), a BMW or Audi driver is just as likely to cause an accident as someone who has had a few spliffs or beers, simply because of their attitude. Anyway, he's not likely to kill MY mother because my mother is already dead


Sounds to me that you don't really want 'advice', you just want someone to say 'dob him in' to appease your guilt. Well in that case, Evey's yer man

Furthermore, this all smacks a little of the old prohibition argument. Ban everything 'just in case', regardless of individual circumstances. Dob people in just because YOU feel they can't handle it.

 

[bummer]

Just don't invite him.

Or if you do invite him tell him he's only welcome if he gives you his keys at the start of the night.

 

[SilentRoller]

So you've NEVER had ONE toke on a spliff and driven? You've never had one beer and driven? You've never driven on a comedown? You've never driven when tired, or ill, or in any way other than totally compus mentis? Do you actually drive? I'm not trying to be a dick, or defending anyone who drives when incapable, but it so much depends upon circumstances. In my considerable experience on the road in all types of vehicles (except HGVs), a BMW or Audi driver is just as likely to cause an accident as someone who has had a few spliffs or beers, simply because of their attitude. Anyway, he's not likely to kill MY mother because my mother is already dead

Woah...cunt mode engaged? Only kidding, but you are splitting hairs on the term intoxicated here. By your logic, everyone in the world has driven when 'intoxicated'. However, having one beer (below the limit) is slightly different than driving with large amounts of stims and alcohol in your system. For what it's worth, I do drive, and am not looking for someone just to say "dob him in", but rather I am looking for advice, hence I value what you have just said and am replying to it. It seems with this sort of matter, people either fall into two camps - the first being zero tolerance (like me) and the other being "fuck it I can drive on what I want as long as I can walk". You seem to be the latter.

Each to their own and I respect your opinion, its just I am speaking out of concern for public safely here, rather than attempting to take some moral high ground. As we all know, I love drugs and would never put anyone down for taking them. However we do have to have a degree of sensibility about this, especially as BL is a HARM REDUCTION SITE.

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

Woah...cunt mode engaged? Only kidding, but you are splitting hairs on the term intoxicated here. By your logic, everyone in the world has driven when 'intoxicated'. However, having one beer (below the limit) is slightly different than driving with large amounts of stims and alcohol in your system. For what it's worth, I do drive, and am not looking for someone just to say "dob him in", but rather I am looking for advice, hence I value what you have just said and am replying to it. It seems with this sort of matter, people either fall into two camps - the first being zero tolerance (like me) and the other being "fuck it I can drive on what I want as long as I can walk". You seem to be the latter.

Each to their own and I respect your opinion, its just I am speaking out of concern for public safely here, rather than attempting to take some moral high ground. As we all know, I love drugs and would never put anyone down for taking them. However we do have to have a degree of sensibility about this, especially as BL is a HARM REDUCTION SITE.

Well I think you've answered your own question there. Do what YOU feel is right. I'm merely giving an alternative opinion to the 'whatever we are told is true' opinion. Honestly, I've known alcoholics who can't walk or talk, but once behind the wheel of a car are suddenly totally on the ball. It doesn't make it right, but sometimes tolerance plays a big part. Do YOU feel that your mate is not fit to drive (regardless of legal limits - I once wouldn't have been capable of driving after only 1 pint, but would still have been 'legal')? If so, then either distance yourself from him, or take his keys off him.

 

[spacejunk]

Just don't invite him.

Or if you do invite him tell him he's only welcome if he gives you his keys at the start of the night.

I think this is the correct answer.
If it's really bothering you, confront him about it or don't invite him.
Try to change his behaviour, in whatever way you can.
Sounds like the guy is partying in a pretty unsafe manner (MDMA mulitple times a week doesnt sound like it's going to end well) and risking legal strife/harm/damage as it is.
How do you grass on someone for driving impaired? Call the cops and spill the beans about everything?
Sounds pretty drastic.
If you care about your mate there are better ways to approach it.

 

[Raasyvibe]

So you've NEVER had ONE toke on a spliff and driven? You've never had one beer and driven? You've never driven on a comedown? You've never driven when tired, or ill, or in any way other than totally compus mentis? Do you actually drive? I'm not trying to be a dick, or defending anyone who drives when incapable, but it so much depends upon circumstances. In my considerable experience on the road in all types of vehicles (except HGVs), a BMW or Audi driver is just as likely to cause an accident as someone who has had a few spliffs or beers, simply because of their attitude. Anyway, he's not likely to kill MY mother because my mother is already dead


Sounds to me that you don't really want 'advice', you just want someone to say 'dob him in' to appease your guilt. Well in that case, Evey's yer man

Furthermore, this all smacks a little of the old prohibition argument. Ban everything 'just in case', regardless of individual circumstances. Dob people in just because YOU feel they can't handle it.

Woah, lay off the guy. It's a very legitimate post, and he stated " he would be over the drink-drive limit drastically, still gurning and chain smoking joints on the way home. " So it seems like a very serious problem. This isn't having a spliff then driving home. It's commendable that the OP is showing concern about it and making the effort to do something.



SilentRoller:

I would talk to him sober. A lot of us drive when fucked, because our judgement is impaired and we think we can do it at the time. If he agrees that what he is doing wrong when sober, then you can take measures to stop it happening again (hide his keys, or whatever).

If he doesn't listen to you when sober, maybe get a couple of friends also to express what he is doing is wrong. If he see's more than one person are concerned, he may take you more seriously. If he refuses to heed your concern, then his blindness may cost another life. I've driven home on MDMA before, it was great... until my passenger told me "You know you're on the wrong side of the road"? . Never again.

If he can't be reasoned with, I would either not invite him over or just dob him in if he's going to endanger other peoples lives. Sorry to sound harsh, but it would be the best thing for everyone.

 

[poing]

Or if you do invite him tell him he's only welcome if he gives you his keys at the start of the night.

+1

Back in the day, I was in a situation a few times where I was pretty drunk at a party (sometimes in combo with stims) but still wanted to drive home. I'm very grateful that my friends didn't let me. I couldn't live with myself if I killed someone while driving intoxicated.

Personally, I got wiser with age. If I drive, I won't take anything except for one drink (or, alternatively, one joint). If I want to party, I don't drive. I mean, being more financially secure helps as taking a cab is almost always a viable option. Nevertheless, what I learned is that when I party, I don't bring a car. Thus, I can't make a bad decision even when my judgement is impaired.

 

[BecomingJulie]

If you've ever been in a car with a drunk driver, and had even a minor accident in which nobody was seriously injured and only that car was damaged, it tends to give you a pretty firm opinion on the matter of driving whilst under the influence of substances.

A motor car is a lethal weapon, and as such needs to be treated with respect.

 

[Arnold]

I'd fuck his car up tbh, deflate a couple of tires, disconnect battery if possible etc..

 

[Smiley91]

Haha ^

If you've already been upfront with him in an obvious way (express your concerns about his safety and others) there's not much you can do really other than keep on at him about it or like has been suggested get a few of you to say to him, and when necessary keep his keys until he's sobered up enough to drive home. It's a tough position to be in though (I've had a pal like that who still hasn't been caught and is a maniac at times) but you obviously care about him and if he doesn't listen to your concerns then you can't really live with the guilt that something may happen - he will have to though and I would tell him that, if he's a good pal I'm sure he won't judge you for having an opinion. You could threaten to phone police but I wouldn't actually follow through with that personally.

 

[Sprout]

Never driven intoxicated, never would - my decision to get fucked shouldn't have an alarming habit of killing innocent people on the street, as a rule. 8)

If he refuses to listen, is it not possible for his keys to 'disappear' into your possession until he's sober?
I'd feel better relocating my friend's car keys until he is in a fit state to look after himself. If the worst comes to the worst and he thinks his cars been nicked, is he stupid enough to involve police immediately instead of waiting an hour or two?
If he is, then he really shouldn't be joining in. If he isn't, he might get pissy about you controlling him but you've removed the odds of he and other people dying that night.
Better to be a caring cunt than to lose a dear friend to something as stoopid as a few pills -'cause that situation really fuckin' hurts.

 

[Eveleivibe]

Never driven intoxicated, never would - my decision to get fucked shouldn't have an alarming habit of killing innocent people on the street, as a rule. 8)

If he refuses to listen, is it not possible for his keys to 'disappear' into your possession until he's sober?
I'd feel better relocating my friend's car keys until he is in a fit state to look after himself. If the worst comes to the worst and he thinks his cars been nicked, is he stupid enough to involve police immediately instead of waiting an hour or two?
If he is, then he really shouldn't be joining in. If he isn't, he might get pissy about you controlling him but you've removed the odds of he and other people dying that night.
Better to be a caring cunt than to lose a dear friend to something as stoopid as a few pills -'cause that situation really fuckin' hurts.

Agreed :D

Evey

 

[Bearlove]

I would be honest with him when he is sober - were having a session on x day, your welcome to join us if your willing to stay at mine the following day until your sober / had a kip etc.

I wouldn't fuck about with his car, his keys etc as the decision has to be his, party and then drive when sober or don't party. If you hide his keys and give them back after a couple of hours and he kills himself/others then you will forever blame yourself for allowing him to drive.

The onus and ultimately the blame for anything that may happen has to lie with him and his decisions.

Bear

 

[ScotchMist]

I'd be a huge liar if I said I hadn't drove fucked, quite seriously and dangerously so too. I've just been lucky and so has everyone else I passed. Fortunately I grew out of that stupid behaviour in my early 20's..

Still managed to crash a number of times withdrawing from smack, which is just as bad I guess.. :/ Shouldn't do it, sometimes your own needs and desires take precedent. I get the bus these days though,as shite as it is..

 

[Inflorescence]

What Bear said.If you make a bad decision and you get hurt or worse, even if that decision was well under the influence that's one thing-.Hurting or killing someone else...well how could you live with yourself.

I sat and watched a car containing a young mother and her two tiny children engulfed in her car of a fire baall and was part of a 9 car pile up because someone wasn't paying attention and shouldn't have been driving due to meds . No one could get them out in time I sat on the verge covered in glass and smoke for 3 hours until we were taken away from the scene.
Whenever I consider driving I think of that and her husband..

I won't lie I have been no angel when I was younger but I will not even drink a glass of wine now and drive....

So he kips at yours/a mates//hotel..duvet in car...surely that is the answer?