A cry of help from a 19 y/o heroin user

[xanaxdreams]

She?s 19. First tried heroin in June 2017 (when she was 18) as a result of a manic episode and her goal was to try heroin before she committed suicide. During her states of mania, she becomes very suicidal. She didn?t touch heroin again until October 2017 when she started dating the girl she first tried it with. They did it together about 3 times. She loved the high but didn?t find herself hooked right away and was able to put it down for another 2 months. Then another girl came back into her life and reintroduced heroin to her again. They did it together quite often. She found herself craving that high a lot more often so She found a way to get it. And started using it herself. She partially knew what she was getting herself into. She knew she could become addicted. But she told herself it?s fine because she was about to move out of the state and then she wouldn?t know anyone who could give it to her. She bought a half gram of h to bring to the state she was moving to for a last bang before she?d decide to finally quit. That half gram didn?t last long. She became desperate for more. I guess an addict can?t just move away from their addiction, because an addict can?t find their drug wherever they are. And so she did. She found a connect for heroin in her new state. Bought two grams, lasted her a week. It ran out. Now she?s 3 days clean. She can feel herself withdrawaling. Craving nothing but icecream and popscicles. Restless leg syndrome at night, no fucking sleep. Can?t seem to get her mind off heroin. It keeps calling her name. She moved to this new state for a fresh start, to chase her goals and dreams. She?s not completely dependent on heroin yet, but definitely on the verge of complete addiction. She knows if she goes and buys another sack, it will just get worse and worse. Her veins on her arms are already fucked up. She?s becoming suicidal. Overdosing on H and just dying seems like bliss to her...avoiding a lifetime of pain. What should she fucking do??! How can she get past this? She?s too young to be doing this and she knows it. How can she stay away from it. She wants to recover and be clean. Please help. Help.

 

[Chris42393]

Kratom is good for withdrawals. Also, possibly talk to a doctor about what you're going through (RLS and sleepless nights) and maybe he/she can give you a light benzo to help as well.

Kava tea (which you can get in any grocery store, IE walmart, publix, etc.) has benzo type effects and can help as well. I personally use several tea bags to get the effect i want, and it helps.

Taking a couple of Loperamide actually helps my RLS pretty well.

Just hold on for the next few days. You'll be okay. The craving of H is normal and but just avoid it all cost. If you have some left, throw it in the toilet and flush it down. Avoid anyone that uses, so you dont tempt to get any.

I know how hard it is, Opiates are always calling my name... You just have to be strong. It will be one of the hardest things you will ever do. If you can do this, you can do anything. Be safe, suicide isnt the way to go. If you're at this point where you want to do this, the grass will always be greener on the other side. You can only go up from here. Please dont.

If you need to talk, just PM me.

 

[herbavore]

Are you getting treatment for your manic episodes? If you are in a new place and don't have a lot of support, this seems crucial.

You have already done two great things: 1) You moved away from connects 2) you realized that will not be enough. You have set yourself a path of recovery and you have taken a few steps. It's a zigzag path, a process, and it will be full of moments that feel like success and moments that feel like failures but in reality all are part of a process of learning about yourself and your emotional needs, learning about addiction and the brain, learning about how to face difficulties in life. I think one of the most powerful things we can do is to get comfortable with difficulty. We grow up creating lots of ways to run from it or distract ourselves from it--but when you can really face difficulty and acknowledge "this is hard" and keep going, you have created a brand new mental muscle that you could not count on before.