5 weeks after first time mdma/e totally messed up vision and brain.

[Kentan]

hello everyone! (sorry for bad english)

I'm 22 years old and have never done any drugs more than smoking weed a few times before. 5 weeks ago, at a festival I got really drunk at thought It was a good idea to try som ectasy so I took half a pill it 3 or 4 times during the night while drinking. I also took an SSRI pill from someone. (Completly fucking idiotic, I know.) I think it was quite strong ecstasy. We were awake the whole night partying and the morning after and then I began to feel shit. I got some hallucinations, feeling really weird. later that day i puked, was so dry in my mouth I almost couldnt eat. Then the day after that i was feeling better so I started party again, but still feeling messed up (no vision problems at this time). Couldnt really sleep the night after. I then began to feel very messsed up.

The week after I was experiencing a lot of crazy shit. My vision was extremly weird, like blurry/couldn't focus, almost like it couldn't follow properly/ not focused. My head was feeling like totally burned. I was completly dizzy could'nt do shit more than lay in bed. I went to an doctor who took the basic blood samples and so on. He thought it was nothing to worry about.

I tried taking some 5htp because i was heard it could help and i have taken 150mg every day now.

And now after 5 weeks, my vision is a bit better (not blurry). I can see clearly but it is very weird. Like hard to focus and it follows behind. I feel so fucked up in my head it's like i burned it. I almost have like derealisation I think, because of how fucked everything feels. I dont really do much more than lay in bed watching movies/youtube and such. I cant work or anything.

Because of all this I got so much anxiety and so on worrying that this shit is permanent. I'm so scared Maybe I got like a variant of serotonine syndrome after all that shit and this is the after effects?
Will contact the doctor again ofcourse and see if he can send me to someone who knows more about it.

But what can I do about all this? Im really sensitive now so please dont bash me and say Im gonna be fucked up forever and so on. Any advice on how long this will last? I am eating alot of vitamins and everything. I know i completely fuked up so hard, I will never ever be in contact with shit like this again, and take it real easy on the booze in the future.

 

[Cdkman]

As long as it's getting better I wouldn't worry u will be fine..but how do u go from smoking pot 5 times to mixing e and a Ssri?..that is up there with one of the riskiest\worthless combination there is..research next time u want to experiment so u dont end up all messed up

 

[Moreaux]

Agreed ^. Sometimes it takes a while to recover from one night of using, as long as you are improving that is a good sign. If you're truly worried see a doctor and be honest - they can do a scan to ensure there was no major damage/trauma to your brain.

All in all you got very lucky, as there are several things in your post that are alarming. You said you took multiple MDMA pill halves throughout the night, which isn't a great idea for your first time. Ideally you should have taken one to see how it affected you, particularly because it can be long lasting redosing wasn't a great idea.

Mixing the MDMA with alcohol is very dangerous on many levels. As MDMA is a stimulant and alcohol is a depressant, mixing the two creates a situation where the user's sensations of the drugs effects are blunted making it much easier to overdose. Also, MDMA has a tendency to dehydrate people. Alcohol is also very dehydrating, and many MDMA deaths occur because of the alcohol combination and not just because of MDMA itself. Users can be too intoxicated to actually feel what is going on with their body to the point where it's fatal.

The other issue that night is that you randomly took an SSRI. While people who regularly take SSRI's and occasionally have MDMA often have no ill effects, there is the potential for an extreme negative reaction for MDMA users when they are starting or stopping an SSRI. As you did not have prior exposure to an SSRI, this may be the combination that has had the greatest impact on you during this experience. It is possible you suffered from serotonin syndrome, which can also be fatal.

I think moving forward if you decide to indulge in substances that you do copious research before consuming and/or mixing substances. Also, do not take mystery pills like the SSRI. There are a wide variety of types and just knowing the type without knowing what it is specifically is a recipie for failure. If you don't know explicitly what a pill is, don't take it. If you would have looked up SSRIs and your situation before taking you would have found that it was inherently a bad idea.

I am not trying to be harsh - I think it's important to point some of this out to you so in the futur you can have safer fun drug experiences without health consequences that last weeks. You are very lucky you didn't end up in the hospital or die. I hope this experience has taught you to respect substances and develope a method for how you will handle substances in the future.

For me personally, I always research the substance thoroughly before consuming it. I also check for interactions, and any potential lasting effects so I can be prepared. If it's something new I will not mix substances and will just try that by itself. If it's a prescription pill I always identify it online before consuming it unless I know with absolute certainty what it is. I also make sure I'm prepared before I indulge - if I will be house bound then I want provisions (food, drinks, smokes, etc) so I have everything I need. I also make sure I have a comedown plan along with any supportive medications I may need for that. Unconditionally, I keep a gallon of water by my bed, and depending on what my plans are, a bucket in case I'm sick. I also write a note of what I have consumed (including vitamins, suppliments, scripts, etc) along with dosages in case I have a reaction and have to go to the hospital - I know this sounds odd but it actually saved my life at one point when I quit breathing.

Drugs can be a very enriching experience when used safely and smartly. I hope
You learn from this experience and I hope you keep recovering and feel better soon!

 

[Kentan]

Yeah guys, I really did fuck up, I have no idea what I was thinking, it's like not normal to who I am. I will never ever do any drugs like this again I can promise you. I cant understand why I suddenly wanted to try without the researching it. A major fuckup. Right now I just want to get better, forget this and move on. Just live a normal life without any drugs what so ever. If I get better, I can hopefully look back at this and really take wisdom from it, have major respect for theese kind of substances and appreciate normal life so much more.

I took this with some friends, 2 of them also the first time. They feel absolutely fine. One friende fel bad for like a week after and the other nothing really. So the combination with the ssri and the dehyrdration must have fucked me up more than for them.

 

[Muzda Jonxx]

I don't think there's anything strange about suddenly wanting to try ecstasy. All life is a series of decisions, deciding to try e whilst drunk at a party is probably how lots of people get into these things.

A little alcohol with MDMA isn't too dangerous, as long as you take it easy on the alcohol and ensure to keep hydrated with water as the night progresses.

It was mixing an SSRI on top of the MDMA that was reckless and stupid. Like, really reckless and stupid. SSRIs are not too be fucked about with, they're very very powerful medications. Some far more powerful than MDMA itself. Mixing the two together really is a game of Russian roulette.

Do you know what SSRI specifically you took, and at what dose? I'll bet my last dollar it is the SSRI that has screwed you up. The lasting effects you describe are not typical of an MDMA comedown.

That brings me to my final point.. Are you sure it was MDMA you took? Many research chemicals are sold as 'ecstasy' these days, and many of those research chemicals are far more horrible than MDMA. And that's before you add in the SSRI on top.

 

[Moreaux]

Muzda - great questions and I was wondering those myself (was it actually MDMA and which SSRI) but I had already written a novel and didn't want it to be longer lol.

Kentan, in today's drug world there are many mail order "Research Chemicals/Legal Highs" that purportedly mimic other better known drugs that dealers will often try to pass those off as the real deal. MDMA is notorious for being counterfeit, and many users will actually test their substance to ensure it is MDMA and not an analogue or something entirely different. It's much harder to get real MDMA now, and some of the substances dealers are trying to pass of are extraordinarily dangerous. Just wanted to give you a quick FYI.

Try to relax - you will recover. Try not to focus on it and it will happen

 

[Kentan]

I'm waiting for answer from a friend regarding what ssri, but in the meantime I can say I took some xtc called something like pink red bull, like 200-220mg per tablet. I heard they contain lots of mdma?

Yeah I will try to relax as much as I can, hard though when you notice it so very much and gets me all dizzy and the stuff I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow and hopefully he can send me to a nerulogist or something to make sure everything looks alright?

 

[Kentan]

Okey guys I got one pill of citalopram 10mg in me that night

Today i'm still feeling the same. Doctors don't see anything wrong :/