4 weeks without Heroin. Now as my name says lets attack the crack

[Lobita]

I quit a five year crack addiction by moving away from anyone that had anything to do with crack. I got rid of my phone and contacts and got a phone with a new number. I moved far away from my stomping grounds and reconciled with old friends that I lost because of my crack addiction. The physical withdrawals were nothing compared to my insane desire smoke crack.

You need to get the fuck away from where you are and the people that you know or you will never get clean. Change your name, change your number, change your address, change your friends. Crack will find you if you don’t.

That’s how I did it. 9 years clean now.

I did the same 9 years clean from crack as well.
H is a different story. I’m a week off that but feeling better every day. I live far from where I can get anything.
Staying away from people, places and things really is key to getting clean and staying clean.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Just keep on as well as you can @Crack attack . If you relapse dont be too hard on yourself and try not to hide it from loved ones. Shame and diciete are the biggest fuel for chronic relapse. I don't want to jinx you but relapses are part of recovery. Just don't stop trying cause your daughter needs your heart. Please keep us updated.

P.S. I am looking forward to your new name. Did you get contacted by anybody about that? If you didn't go to "Site Technical Help" and say that you have been gifted a name change. I forwarded donation email and said that it is for you. I mean if you're quitting crack than you don't have to attack it.

 

[Nurse Ratched]

Hopefully your heroin relapse was a one off and you can concentrate on the crack. Sucks that you lost those 4 weeks clean from it but I'm sure you know you are tempting fate living next door to your dealer. Let's hope you can get away from there before one of your neighbors gets too fed up with the constant traffic and the noise that the house generates. You said in one post that she can go straight up psychotic when sleep deprived and came over banging on your door one morning. Neighbors notice this stuff . Run, don't walk. Keep your daughter safe. No telling how many or what kinds of people are in and out of that house everyday. Not dissing drug users, only their behavior when you are talking heroin, meth and crack.

This isn't weed she is dealing.

 

[Lobita]

Brilliant reply that is mate very useful information thank you
Strange how i can smash oxys up to 200+ mg a day for months ive done this twice now both times i just stopped both times i suffered no withdrawal symptoms none zilch slept like a baby every night. I was amazed after reading om here others experiences
With fentanyl was on 25mcg/hour patches gmfkr just over two years and sillu mr thought it cant be that bad n just stopped no taper nkr use of ANY other drugs well, whst a nasty hard miserable four weeks that was! Think heroin withdrawals and times that by ten that how a bare back fentanyl rattle feels lermt my lesson never again but i stuck to it like the oxys the heroin fentanyl diazepam and zanax ive abused them all to be honest!.

But theres just something about them pure white rocks that keep me coming back but as you say as ive successfully done this for 17 years i believe in myself that is half the battle!!

Great idea abour the name mate i will do this after a fee days clean alnost a treat so to speak
Thanks matey

Have you tried going to NA meetings in your area? It can help being around people who already went through what you are going through and survived. They are very welcoming and listen to what you have to say if you feel like sharing.

 

[Lawless69]

W

man get out of that neighbourhood now.

also if you arne't going to stop at least stop buying 8ths in 20 stones its so expensive. the cost is one of the absolute worst things about crack addiction and buying small bits doesn't help. my addiction got a lot easier to manage once i admitted to myself the level of my use. it went from getting bits of money (i was a 'working girl' and hadn't totally destroyed my looks so making quite a lot) and immediately spending it on points then desperately needing more money to disciplining myself to wait til i'd got enough for an 8th and then being able to take 6 hours off fucking gross men to just enjoy my smoke.

but you need to stop this. your heart isn't going to last forever. the more you stay up nights in a row smoking the worse it'll get. lack of sleep destroys all your bodily systems.

get anywhere, now. please.

you're in the same place as every single other person suffering from addiction. at a fork in the road between recovery and death. only it sounds like you are on one of the later of such forks, when they get harder to take.

your neighbour dealer is not your friend. without havng met him i'm confident he's a fucking scumbag, like every other dealer of hard drugs, and all he cares about is profit from you. so having someone with such a monetary motivation to stop you quitting next door makes your chances of success very much lower.

@chinup you've been so so much help more than you realise i log on gooeong to read what advice you've given lol

Yes SHE my neighbour the dealers a nutt case had a big argument with her yday i said i was potching her customers coz its bud i specialise in n did the 17 years im known for it n a known person /family so she has let me hold the fort n serve folk etc alot. So i was showimg a few as they came out past my window n shown them my product ten ten fire GORRILA dawg and peanut butter breath
She came out shouting about the smell n ive said what but ppl coming 24/7 for + n white isnt bait. No?!
Oh coz it dont stink like bud dkes okays. Since i got back with mt ex who very pretty infact her younger mate amie says to me i can see why u got. Back her L*** i said i know shes hottt isnt she'. Her reply shes fire i fancy her n im straight but the other dealer is jealous as hell... Fk them im gone as soon as i gwt chance tust me. No no contact yet ill contact them mate. Thanks bro

Ng18cali-man21. (snapchat acc take a look guys)

 

[Lawless69]

Just keep on as well as you can @Crack attack . If you relapse dont be too hard on yourself and try not to hide it from loved ones. Shame and diciete are the biggest fuel for chronic relapse. I don't want to jinx you but relapses are part of recovery. Just don't stop trying cause your daughter needs your heart. Please keep us updated.

P.S. I am looking forward to your new name. Did you get contacted by anybody about that? If you didn't go to "Site Technical Help" and say that you have been gifted a name change. I forwarded donation email and said that it is for you. I mean if you're quitting crack than you don't have to attack it.

Im with you ome humdred percent mate so far so good its not easy not at all. The diazepam are keeping ok but its a mind fucking. Hearing them come an go even being able to hear what they order gotta stay strong got good ppl here with me atm luckily. Im still waiting have to contact them bcoz i really wanr to change it. Amazing gesture that is @Sunyecho

 

[Jabberwocky]

Just contact admins at [email protected] from email you used for this account and ask for a name change. Point out that you have been gifted one by Sunyecho who made $25 donation.


Hope that it gets easier but as other have pointed out I believe that it is not sustainable to live next door to your dealer. You have great support here @Crack attack and that support will be here no matter what. As long as you are honestly trying. Hope today will be a bit easier.

 

[Lawless69]

Hey guys, Cracking weekend with my beautiful Lolli my daughter and her bf. It was busy and we was all over keeping busy my will power I was hoping would keep me away and positive thought and it has. Lolli went last night shes comkng back today, unexpectedly my daughter n her bf have had to shoot of to an important interview with his social workers.
This has left me a few hours alone.
Im back shotting the high grade canna ive done this for years apart from since relapsing 6 or so months ago. So ive had to drop an 8th a few streets away and ended up bumping into a rock connoisseur who is not on thr radar no phone, social media or the like and the temptation of his reputation (poet)
I ended up with 0.3 been home id say 40 mins n only had one pipe riddled with guilt n shame at the moment.
Deep in thought. I think my beautiful girlfriend will point blank leave end it my daughter wouldn't be happpy not one bit, the fuking first time im left to my own devices,
Weak ass fake bitch ezcuse of a man/farther /partner

 

[Jabberwocky]

This sort of slip ups are to be expected. Dont make an excuse of them to do more (like "when I have fucked it now then Ill fuck it up right) as you are in a phase where you are starting to change your behaviour. Every "no" gets that new person a bit stronger. You are not fighting some small fish you are fighting a demon that you have created. Now you have to weaken that monster and create a counter "good monster". I don't envy you a bit. As I said relapses are to be expected but dont make excuses out of them to use more. Pick yourself up, dust off and move on. The trip is long but you can make it all the way.

 

[noddedallwayup]

I can and will see this through

you got this all the way, 5 days in from the post right? each week is a damn trophy on your shelf just try n keep putting em there

 

[Jabberwocky]

Hey there @Crack attack hope youre feeling better. I was thinking of your situation and wanted to say hi. Did you forgive yourself that slip or did it go into full blown crack session afterwards? Whatever the answer is hope youre better at the moment.

 

[Lawless69]

Hey there @Crack attack hope youre feeling better. I was thinking of your situation and wanted to say hi. Did you forgive yourself that slip or did it go into full blown crack session afterwards? Whatever the answer is hope youre better at the moment.

Hey @Sunyecho how are you mate?
. Wow mate just WOW crack 17 years ago was obviously just a "treat" and IV Heroin was ny DOC my crutch. And being locked up and gong through H withdrawal kinda made the crack urge take a back seat

Now cracks the issue and my DOC. I can't believe how much how bad how fucking hard this is especially hearing it being sold 24/7, im struggling so so bad guys. My girls with me and not silly dose not ket me out without her even to fetch bud. I had 2 stones yesterday felt like utter shit afterwards the guilt the time wasted not taking it. Thr being weak. But today im struggling with it so so much that urge to throw a big hard rock on thr wire wool hearing that crackle as u inhale that toxic cloud but yet feel so so good but then u can't stop. Fuking hell even thays msde me crave so so bad. This is so hard the way it makes you want it makes the allure of heroin feel like nothing. This is next level evil cravings. Not used and my daughter and hwr bf are on their way uo. His heroin addiced mum has died lime now in the last hour. If feel for the lad so so much. I Dont know his mum. Hes been brought uo in care but he had alot to do with her. Bless him im happy he wants to come over here to get out the way n grieve tbh

 

[Jabberwocky]

I am more stimulant than opioid lover and I know how bad cravings can get. Even from powder cocaine, mdma and regular (not meth) amphetamines. I dreamt cocaine and other stims few months every night. I can not imagine if I had easy access to meth and crack (don't want to go to dark net or make crack to keep my sanity). Opioids were hard physically, and mentally once youre dependent for years,but for me it was always physical withdrawal that kept me glued to opioids. Mentally I am still not over cocaine and other stims even though I havent used (except therapeutically methylphenidate/Concerta 36mg) for a long time now. I crave trying meth. Thats how bad I like stims. Yore in for a big mental struggle thats for sure. But you have beaten heroin and have all things in place to stop crack. Well, except the place where you live. I am really cheering for you man!

P. S. Sorry if I am being annoying but did you send email to admins regarding your name? I don't want to pressure you to change username, just thought it could be triggering so wanted to help. But if you will keep your current username I will gift somebody else with the chance to change their. Don't want it go to waste.

 

[Jabberwocky]

mate feeding those thoughts will nto help. you need to accept that you aren't going to use and when the thought comes into your head, instead of going with it and thinking that would be so nice, cos that causes pain, shutting it down immediately.

where is your gf living? can you not stay with her. fuck i don't even want to smoke crack but if it was getting shotted right by me i'm pretty sure in no time i'd be back to losing my job, supporting my habit on my back, getting taken advantage of by every other user cos i was prepared to do the stuff that needed to be done to make money, so ending up mostly on my own cos i was fed up, having no internet, no lighting n my house cos the circuits had gone and i never got it fixed, maggots in my cats food bowl, fucking bored of the score, use, make money, repeat cycle with no end in sight other than death. you get the picture. your circumstances are not helping you. even if you can stay somewhere else a couple of weeks while you get a more permanent solution.

 

[Lawless69]

Hi @chinup ive nkt herd anything from admin and have messaged them omce but i shsll do it again after my reply.

I must admit today has been slightly easier 6 dsys in with one slip up. Your right about pushing that craving far far away. But living next door to it is hell it really is. Nothing will be sorted overnight which is a pain in the arse in my situation.
My girlfriend lives 2 or 3 towms away about a hour bus ride half hour in a car but i know more dealers there than where iam bcoz that's where i moved away from 17 years ago n started goin back to these old dealers well the people doin it now when i relapsed. Fair enough they arnt next door tho. But its the liquid handcuffs methadone. Weve already agreed omce put on weekly pick ups ill be doing this. Infact ill ring my drug worker tomorrow as she know my circumstances and i believe once she drug tests me and sees no heroin as she dosemt know yet i think sje will let me go on weekly or two weekly as iam sticking to it tl the letter not one slip up n its 5 weeks tomorrow no H!!

Im obviously on disability bcoz my heart failure amd double bypass alomg with mental health. My days got changed frlom Wednesdays to a Monday now. So i have the otner dealer a couple of streets away threatening me bcoz the £40 i owe should of beem paid yesterday even semt him the confirmation of payment days changed but as we know they dont care he wamts it tonight or I'm being paid a visit had i still been using id of not been to bothered but being clean its not what i want while in detox., so ive put my tv and washing machine up for sale as much as j never sell my things i habe no choice. Ill replace which ever sells. If it sells on Monday when get disability money. He knows i always pay as does next door but ots out of my hands. So im just waiting on my phone ringing and some one is wanting my tv or washer then ive got zero stress.
I didnt habe any diazepam for the last 2 days n this made it seem so much harder. I've had 15mg today n have 10mg for later n gettin some more diazepam tomorrow. I must admit diazepam and a joint compliment each other so well and feels better n lasts alot longer than the white. Makes u feel warm and nice evem during detox.
So im coping pretty good today the 1st fpur days have been hell. Im hoping its starting to ease now but knkw I've got s huge mountain to climb yet.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Im obviously on disability bcoz my heart failure amd double bypass alomg with mental health.

Man you really have lots of reasons to not touch cocaine anymore. I know that this all is taking a toll on your mind but you really need your heart more than cocaine. Hope it gets easier.

Regarding messaging admins you will need to email them as I wrote:

at [email protected] from email you used for this account and ask for a name change.

We are cheering for you! You will do this man!

 

[Jabberwocky]

urgh that sucks about that dealer man- having to sell tv/washer isn't ideal but you are right to clear the debt. i hope you got it sorted. i was lucky enough that none of my dealers would ever tic me, even when i told them i'd have £100 in an hour and was literally asking for one shot of dark so i could do what i had to do to get the money without being ill.

i hope your drug worker is chuffed when she finds out you've managed not to do heroin for so long. and you're doing really well withthe light. i never intended to quit but even if i did i don't think i could ever have done as well as you, even though it really was maknig my life awful.

 

[Lawless69]

Man you really have lots of reasons to not touch cocaine anymore. I know that this all is taking a toll on your mind but you really need your heart more than cocaine. Hope it gets easier.

Regarding messaging admins you will need to email them as I wrote:



We are cheering for you! You will do this man!

Hi mate yeah ive messaged admin through my Gmail mate its the 2nd time 1st time on the 12th. I said about the donation and what id like it changed too so heres hoping it changes soon. Something more personal to me.

So so many reasons to beat that shit.
Its 5 weeks today with no H none so iam pleased about that shows ive still got that inner strength.

Thanks for the support as always mate

 

[Lawless69]

urgh that sucks about that dealer man- having to sell tv/washer isn't ideal but you are right to clear the debt. i hope you got it sorted. i was lucky enough that none of my dealers would ever tic me, even when i told them i'd have £100 in an hour and was literally asking for one shot of dark so i could do what i had to do to get the money without being ill.

i hope your drug worker is chuffed when she finds out you've managed not to do heroin for so long. and you're doing really well withthe light. i never intended to quit but even if i did i don't think i could ever have done as well as you, even though it really was maknig my life awful.

Oh yeah i can tick well it was £170 to my neighbour last week paid in full as always. U only have your word while your deep in addiction mate n yes ive sorted the debt without having to sell anything so that's one less stress. I can get tick off them both. Which isnt a good thing. Especially my next door its too easy ugh!!

Its 5 weeks today im sure but now doubts n im thinking maybe 6 weeks but wither way that's a good achievement in its self ive sat with people over ten times smoking it next to me been offered as well n i have zero interest in it ive found it so easy. Well after the fentanyl is was goin to be. Now i just gotta rack the weeks up with the white also n il have beaten them both twice. Last time 17 years clean. This time forever until my heart finally gives up it shall not enter my body again. Just gotta be so strong. Again thank you ya support is amazing much appreciated

 

[Lawless69]

F***ing hell guys

Well my daughter and her bf whos mums just died have come for the night. I feel for the lad so much he must feel so abandoned lost and confused atm.

So ive been saw my old mate been a while has the best flavours for miles n miles n plenty choice. Love his daily snapchat videos of said buds 6 or more fire Flavours . Shatter, live resin, edibles mmmm. Quart of Gelato #33. My favourite i love gelato and cookie strains. Id forgotten how nice the taste n flavours are compared to that!!
Yeah it dont hit instantly but fukkkkkkkkk me me and Lee (daughter's boyfriend) have shared 2 joimts his eyes are blood red an hes gone to lie in their room n im chilling higher than the sun
Not only has it crept up and hit me round the back of the head with a bat but 3 hours in n im so stoned im baked out couch lock at its best but comfortably infact just looked in the ash tray weve actually only had 1.5 spliffs be tween us. Halfs still there waiting for me yum

God bless this scared natural herb that keot me clean and away from crack and heroin for 17 years straight. Enabled me to raise a daughger work holidays and basically live a good life and tbats a fact. Peace put lol oh and the better hslf has been to her drs as she stayed at hers last night and blagged diazepam for me, i cannot get anything like that any more. She onky gets the 5mg ones teva yellows but 30mg has me feeling suoer euphoric and the gelato just tastes that much better amd the high feels that much stronger. From both they pollinate each other brilliantly i wint lie. Deffo my favourite "softdrug" combinations. Each to their own and that's my little nice place for now no cravings win win situation