4 Months after MDMA use. Still not recovered, what should I do.

[fettywap]

- Around 4 months ago I took Mdma for the first time, I was high on cannabis at the time and took a 250mg "bomb". I proceeded to re-dose twice the same night, probably consuming in total 300-350mg of MDMA. I also smoked a joint at the tail-end of the high
- I had a horrific comedown based mainly around extreme anxiety, and had several panic attacks, heart racing and sweating. I found it extremely difficult to sleep, could barely eat and felt extremely anxious and ill
- A few days after the comedown subsided, I slipped into depersonalization which lasted a couple weeks. This was extremely scary and I understand the condition is based around anxiety.
- Since depersonalization has passed, I have had mild depression, complete lack of motivation, mild anxiety and a mild sense of derealization. I also have very bad brain fog and a lot of memory problems, I feel like i am living in the "moment" and find it very difficult to remember what happened earlier/the day before. My sense of time is completely out of whack, I couldn't tell you what happened a month ago for the life of me. The brain fog is very intense, i cannot picture anything in my head or do any sums in my head. Before I had an extremely good memory and was good at mental arithmetic.
- When I drink alcohol, this makes me anxious. I feel this may be due to a compromised blood-brain barrier, where GABA passes through into the brain. Smoking a cigarette whilst I am drunk seems to take this anxiety/panic away
- I have managed to spend a couple days away from home, however I was on a plane about to go on holiday when i had a panic attack and had to run off the plane.

I feel like mdma consumption may have triggered an anxiety disorder in me which has led to all these problems including brain fog/cognitive decline. Do you think I will ever recover? I have tried 5-htp and l-tyrosine and 5-htp made me feel "high" at a dose of only 50mg, but also made me feel very strange and uneasy. i didn't notice much when i took l-tyrosine ( 500mg ). Should i go to the doctor and seek anti-anxiety medication? I do not take any drugs, and have only got drunk 2-3 times since this all happened.

 

[fettywap]

- Around 4 months ago I took Mdma for the first time, I was high on cannabis at the time and took a 250mg "bomb". I proceeded to re-dose twice the same night, probably consuming in total 300-350mg of MDMA. I also smoked a joint at the tail-end of the high
- I had a horrific comedown based mainly around extreme anxiety, and had several panic attacks, heart racing and sweating. I found it extremely difficult to sleep, could barely eat and felt extremely anxious and ill
- A few days after the comedown subsided, I slipped into depersonalization which lasted a couple weeks. This was extremely scary and I understand the condition is based around anxiety.
- Since depersonalization has passed, I have had mild depression, complete lack of motivation, mild anxiety and a mild sense of derealization. I also have very bad brain fog and a lot of memory problems, I feel like i am living in the "moment" and find it very difficult to remember what happened earlier/the day before. My sense of time is completely out of whack, I couldn't tell you what happened a month ago for the life of me. The brain fog is very intense, i cannot picture anything in my head or do any sums in my head. Before I had an extremely good memory and was good at mental arithmetic.
- When I drink alcohol, this makes me anxious. I feel this may be due to a compromised blood-brain barrier, where GABA passes through into the brain. Smoking a cigarette whilst I am drunk seems to take this anxiety/panic away
- I have managed to spend a couple days away from home, however I was on a plane about to go on holiday when i had a panic attack and had to run off the plane.

I feel like mdma consumption may have triggered an anxiety disorder in me which has led to all these problems including brain fog/cognitive decline. Do you think I will ever recover? I have tried 5-htp and l-tyrosine and 5-htp made me feel "high" at a dose of only 50mg, but also made me feel very strange and uneasy. i didn't notice much when i took l-tyrosine ( 500mg ). Should i go to the doctor and seek anti-anxiety medication? I do not take any drugs, and have only got drunk 2-3 times since this all happened.

bump

 

[sick_guy]

Hello.

Me and many other bluelighters have similar problems. We call it LTC (long term comedown). Checkout MDMA recovery thread. I had exactly same symptoms, I'm on 7-th month and still have symptoms, but they get better with time, so I'm pretty sure I will recover.

 

[fettywap]

Hello.

Me and many other bluelighters have similar problems. We call it LTC (long term comedown). Checkout MDMA recovery thread. I had exactly same symptoms, I'm on 7-th month and still have symptoms, but they get better with time, so I'm pretty sure I will recover.

Thanks a lot, it almost feels like there's no end. The mood part i think is getting better, but the memory and motivation problems just seem to be stagnant.

 

[db1995]

Hey fettywap,

I am on month 9 and I still have some symptoms. I post monthly in the recovery thread with updates on how I am doing.

4 months is still very early on in the recovery process, so right now you just need to be patient, but that is 100x easier said than done.

I suggest you do as much cardiovascular exercise as your body can handle, as I feel like this is what is helping me the most.

For perspective, I did at least 1 gram in 3 days and got drunk 4 times a week following for 1 month, and I am definitely recovering. It has been 9 months for me but my memory still isn't what is used to be. Although I still do receive As on test that I take at my university.


I suggest supplements like fish oil, lions mane mushroom (helps with memory with no side effects), and vitamins.


I am so much better than where I was months ago so it's only a matter of time before I am fully recovered.

 

[indigoaura]

Try some vitamin C and a sub-lingual methylcobalmin (B12).

 

[fettywap]

Ok, i will start doing cardio and taking that mushroom supplement. I will check out your posts, i feel like it will be a couple years before i am 100% back to normal. I was in the first year of medical school when all this shit happened and had to drop out, thankfully they are letting me come back next year. I can't afford to lose my memory

On the plus side i will never take drugs or even drink again, have recognised the importance of health and will carry the habits I form now through the rest of my life.

 

[fettywap]

Hey fettywap,

I am on month 9 and I still have some symptoms. I post monthly in the recovery thread with updates on how I am doing.

4 months is still very early on in the recovery process, so right now you just need to be patient, but that is 100x easier said than done.

I suggest you do as much cardiovascular exercise as your body can handle, as I feel like this is what is helping me the most.

For perspective, I did at least 1 gram in 3 days and got drunk 4 times a week following for 1 month, and I am definitely recovering. It has been 9 months for me but my memory still isn't what is used to be. Although I still do receive As on test that I take at my university.


I suggest supplements like fish oil, lions mane mushroom (helps with memory with no side effects), and vitamins.


I am so much better than where I was months ago so it's only a matter of time before I am fully recovered.

Ok, i will start doing cardio and taking that mushroom supplement. I will check out your posts, i feel like it will be a couple years before i am 100% back to normal. I was in the first year of medical school when all this shit happened and had to drop out, thankfully they are letting me come back next year. I can't afford to lose my memory

On the plus side i will never take drugs or even drink again, have recognised the importance of health and will carry the habits I form now through the rest of my life.

 

[db1995]

Ok, i will start doing cardio and taking that mushroom supplement. I will check out your posts, i feel like it will be a couple years before i am 100% back to normal. I was in the first year of medical school when all this shit happened and had to drop out, thankfully they are letting me come back next year. I can't afford to lose my memory


On the plus side i will never take drugs or even drink again, have recognised the importance of health and will carry the habits I form now through the rest of my life.

Hey congrats on getting accepted into medical school! Hopefully I can get accepted as well.


As far as never taking drugs again, I'm with you on that. Us future docs should walk the walk instead of just talk the talk.

 

[fettywap]

Hey congrats on getting accepted into medical school! Hopefully I can get accepted as well.


As far as never taking drugs again, I'm with you on that. Us future docs should walk the walk instead of just talk the talk.

Lol indeed, I'm from the UK where we get accepted to medical school at 18 (Although post-grad does exist too). I was completely unprepared and immature. I feel like this is the best thing that's happened to me, my MDMA experience was unbelievable and no doubt if I didn't have an LTC I would've used it many times again along with other drugs. Most likely I would've ended up some drugged up doctor lol.

 

[Shady's Fox]

Fish oil would probably help you a bit more and some cardiovascular exercises, also meditation would be perfect, I suggest if you are over 18+ to look for a shaman, ayahuasca/dmt will cure it. Now, if you are living in States, don't search it here, go for locations like Amazon, Peru and you will be back on track. Peace

 

[bluntforcetrauma]

- Around 4 months ago I took Mdma for the first time, I was high on cannabis at the time and took a 250mg "bomb". I proceeded to re-dose twice the same night, probably consuming in total 300-350mg of MDMA. I also smoked a joint at the tail-end of the high
- I had a horrific comedown based mainly around extreme anxiety, and had several panic attacks, heart racing and sweating. I found it extremely difficult to sleep, could barely eat and felt extremely anxious and ill
- A few days after the comedown subsided, I slipped into depersonalization which lasted a couple weeks. This was extremely scary and I understand the condition is based around anxiety.
- Since depersonalization has passed, I have had mild depression, complete lack of motivation, mild anxiety and a mild sense of derealization. I also have very bad brain fog and a lot of memory problems, I feel like i am living in the "moment" and find it very difficult to remember what happened earlier/the day before. My sense of time is completely out of whack, I couldn't tell you what happened a month ago for the life of me. The brain fog is very intense, i cannot picture anything in my head or do any sums in my head. Before I had an extremely good memory and was good at mental arithmetic.
- When I drink alcohol, this makes me anxious. I feel this may be due to a compromised blood-brain barrier, where GABA passes through into the brain. Smoking a cigarette whilst I am drunk seems to take this anxiety/panic away
- I have managed to spend a couple days away from home, however I was on a plane about to go on holiday when i had a panic attack and had to run off the plane.

I feel like mdma consumption may have triggered an anxiety disorder in me which has led to all these problems including brain fog/cognitive decline. Do you think I will ever recover? I have tried 5-htp and l-tyrosine and 5-htp made me feel "high" at a dose of only 50mg, but also made me feel very strange and uneasy. i didn't notice much when i took l-tyrosine ( 500mg ). Should i go to the doctor and seek anti-anxiety medication? I do not take any drugs, and have only got drunk 2-3 times since this all happened.

So you have only used MDMA one time ever? 250mg initial dose with two re-doses that equaled 300-350mg total?

My two cents, which is entirely speculating based on many passed experiences It would appear by your post someone else was dosing you. If they gave you a 250mg bomb to begin with I am thinking their re-doses would put you much higher than 350mg total. That would mean two 50mg boosters max. I dont roll anymore, but had a span of pretty heavy use, with a 250mg bomb to begin my redose would be at least 100mg. I am cringing thinking about two re-doses in a night haha but I get it. What I am saying is, it sounds like you are not exactly sure of your dosages, and whoever gave you a 250mg dose for first time was a little reckless and that leads me to believe they would re-dose high.

Your total dosage could be a little higher than you think, maybe upwards of 500mg. Anyone taking this much mdma will feel the effects you are feeling. The after effects will gradually go away, and in your case with one time use, you will be fine.

I am 6 months off mdma. I wasnt addicted or anything but just loved rolling, after my last time I realized I needed to break. Will always be my all time favorite drug but I violated the number one rule with it, respect. I had pretty significant LTC effects but they are very quickly going away. I cannot stress how important exercise is. It is proven to repair damaged neurons and also gives a great natural dopamine rush Eating healthy as well as daily multivitamins and your set man.

If you really only took it once you will feel better very soon. I was taking that dosage almost every weekend for a while, was in your same position. It gets better

 

[goldenbongtokes]

Check out the Wim Hof method man. I was a heroin addict and I was only able to quit after starting this method that involves cold exposure and breathing exercises. It puts your body in equilibrium. Watch the Vice documentary on the guy who this method is named after. It has been experimentally confirmed that this method gives you control over your autonomic nervous system, thought previously to be scientifically impossible. Changed my life.

 

[montel]

Ok, i will start doing cardio and taking that mushroom supplement. I will check out your posts, i feel like it will be a couple years before i am 100% back to normal. I was in the first year of medical school when all this shit happened and had to drop out, thankfully they are letting me come back next year. I can't afford to lose my memory

On the plus side i will never take drugs or even drink again, have recognised the importance of health and will carry the habits I form now through the rest of my life.

Perhaps the more obvious message is don't take too much the first time? 350mg is a ridiculous amount to take for the first time. As a future medical student, with all this information just a click away, did you do any research about it beforehand? I took a third of what you took the first time I ever took mdma (at a guess) and I was completely out of it - then slept for about 30 hours. I cannot even begin to imagine what 350mg would have felt like.

I feel sorry for you and what you must be going through, but you should have really thought about what you were taking before you actually took it. A safe first dose should be between 100-150mg at most. You shouldn't need any more than that. I'd be surprised if there's any long-term damage at all - your brain, while it may struggle, can bounce back from that amount - it's far more resilient than you'd imagine. (imho) Don't worry about it and try to alter your train of thought - if you sit there every day worried your brain's been damaged, etc, eventually you'll start believing it and making things a lot worse. Mind over matter - and take note that 99% of people take mdma and don't exhibit the feelings you're describing. Just be grateful you didn't overdose on LSD - the symptoms you describe are similar to what happened to me after a very bad trip, and that took a good 6-12 months to recover from. Again, though, it's a lot to do with age - I was around 18 when that happened and was young and (very) naive - not always the best things to be when you take these things. Age is a crucial factor and one that shouldn't be ignored.

 

[Tranced]

Do you think I will ever recover?

Yes, but expect a lot of hard work & time; you likely won't get instant results and it won't be easy.

I have had mild depression, complete lack of motivation, mild anxiety and a mild sense of derealization. I also have very bad brain fog and a lot of memory problems, I feel like i am living in the "moment" and find it very difficult to remember what happened earlier/the day before.

I developed the same symptoms in university and I put it down to the lifestyle I was living at the time. I was getting takeaway pizza's every night, usually with extras. I put on loads of weight and I developed a gluten intolerance/acid reflux/IBS. I became bored and fatigued and miserable, and it got worse and worse, then eventually started getting better after a few years.

i didn't notice much when i took l-tyrosine ( 500mg ). Should i go to the doctor and seek anti-anxiety medication? I do not take any drugs, and have only got drunk 2-3 times since this all happened.

Supplements tend to work for some and not for others, and some are more noticeably effective. I got nothing from l-tyrosine, or 5-htp, but 1500mg Aniracetam + 250mg CDP Choline per day practically cured my debilitating anxiety, with long term effects. I found that to be somewhat of a miracle, to be honest. I also found that ashwaghanda helped a tiny bit with the depression, as did niacin (nicotinic acid, not the flushless 'niacin'... real niacin should make your body go bright red and tingly).

The best things I've found to help have been:
- Not thinking about negative stuff (look into mindfulness and meditation). What you think is a choice and we all seem to obsessively indulge in negative shit that doesn't serve us. I don't actually really meditate, but I do practice mindfulness.
- Learn some breathing techniques.
- Excess sugar/carbs seemed to be making me fatigued, so eat a healthy, clean diet (wholefoods; veg, grains, beans, meat, fish, herbs, etc). If you can't cook, learn; it's easy and you can eat like a king, and treat your body with respect, with every meal.
- Masturbation also made me fatigued, so no fap! It's an easy quick fixed when you're so depressed, but too much and it's like a drug addiction and messes with your hormones.
- I either had, or developed during depression, a Vitamin D deficiency, so I bought a years supply of 4000 IU Vitamin D tablets off the internet, and take one daily.
- Get lots of sunshine. Go out doors. Go in nature.
- Exercise. It's hard when you're fatigued, but healthy body = healthy mind. I've just started running and got some decent running trainers, which make such a difference. It makes me feel really good and I lost 3 pound or so in two days.
- CBT/therapy can help.
- Don't smoke, it's terrible for your health, and anxiety.
- Don't drink too much, it's neurotoxic.
- Don't smoke weed or take drugs, at least up until you feel fully recovered, and even then, take it easy.
- Be active, see friends. laugh.
- Less time on social media/phone.
- Try faking happiness when you chat to people. It's infectious and seems to fool you into feeling happy.

Personally I think it's usually drugs triggering an underlying unhealthy body/mind/lifestyle which was on the cusp, rather than causing some kind of irreversible damage (generally speaking, of course). It's more of a change and a nudge, to me. The brain is fluid and can recover. The mind is even more fluid and can facilitate this. You have control over your life.

Depending which country you're on, your doctor would probably (very pushily) 'encourage' you to take benzos (state sanctioned addiction), or SSRI's, or both. I see you're from the UK, so expect them to pressure you into taking SSRI's, if you ask. I'm yet to ever in my life meet somebody (in person) who actually claimed to have benefited from being given SSRI's from a doctor (I always ask). Anecdotal, but worth baring in mind. And the withdrawals are brutal - I've laid witness to that.

Good luck!