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Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 21, 2023
- Messages
- 11
29 days clean... And counting. The longest I've maintained sobriety for over a decade. Quite horrendous for a 28 y/o man. Since teenage years the main priority, the only priority really, has been to alter my frame of mind with illicit substances. Life thus far has been a concoction of obsessive drug taking stints featuring various different substances. When one powder/pill/rock isn't working anymore I refuse to acknowledge the sour truth that there isn't a drug available on the market which will sustainably grant me the desired effect, so I bounce between chemicals naively trusting that this next drug on my endless list of increasingly dangerous and addictive substances will be the wonder drug that 'sorts me out'. Little did I know the small empty void I longed to fill would begin to expand into a body and mind consuming crater of addiction, mistakes and sorrow. Just a young man, with all the support and love at the push of a button, yet that love would be selfishly ignored, shunned, as I seek for acceptance and comfort in the underworld, pushing aside everything important, which was readily available from my family/peers on demand and swapped for a taste of false, re-assuring depravity. looking back at the mental torture endured and the complicated path that was chosen, I struggle to come to terms with what drove this maniacal behaviour as opposed to the truly satisfying things in life I was too self-absorbed to take notice of. Just a short insight into a small portion the emotions experienced on this journey of sobriety. What are everyone else's experiences around this time-frame of sobriety from their drug/drugs of choice?...