intensecycle
Bluelighter
- Joined
- Aug 20, 2011
- Messages
- 110
Title: Cleanest clarity and freedom possible immanent in dance
Substance: 25i-nBOMe, 2C-B
Dosage: 1 mg 25i-nBOMe blotter, 18mg 2c-b at T +4:00
Personal data: Male, 85kg, 178 cm, 28 years old , athletic, exercise daily, but some back pains and undiagnosed ADHD and cyclothymic (slightly bipolar)
Medications and addictions: none except vitamins.
Set & Setting: In the evening, large city party, celebration of national holiday, with good friends, after sauna and relaxed conversations
Rating: 9.5/10
Previous experiences:
* 2C-B (x3)
* 2C-C (x2)
* 2C-D (x1)
* 2C-P (x2)
* 4-ACO-DMT (x2)
* 4-AcO-MiPT (x1)
* 4-HO-MET (x3)
* 5-APB (x1)
* 5-MeO-MiPT (x1)
* Alprazolam (x5)
* Amphetamine (x1)
* Codeine (x1)
* DOC (x3)
* DOI (x1)
* Dichloropane (x4)
* Etizolam (x5)
* Kratom (x4)
* LSD (x2)
* MDMA (x1)
* Methoxetamine (x7)
* Methylone (x3)
* Modafinil (1 week)
* Shrooms (x3)
* Salvia (x1)
* Weed and hash (many times)
Substance appearance: big simple paper blotter with 25i-nBOMe written on it
Closest previous trip: 47mg of 4-ACO-DMT plugged 1 week before
Tolerance: None
Sensitivity: hardhead to most substances
Addiction potential: average
Main effects: mood lift, feelings of clarity, freedom and space, desire to dance and socialize, feeling of grandiosity and spectacular surroundings, colors look great
Side effects: slight tightness in the chest in the middle of experience
After effects: Tiredness and mood swings in the subsequent days
Shulgin scale: ***
One night, our town had major celebration of national holiday that took place on the town main arena located in the forest. I had nothing better to do on the weekend, so I decided to go there with friends, taking some mind-altering substance, if I will have the mood. I was not certain which one, but I had two 1mg 25I-nBOME blotters sent for me as samples from online vendor, and I decided to give it a try for the first time. I had no idea, if these blotters are HCl or freebase supplemented with HPBCD, but I suspect the latter.
In the morning I cleaned up my apt, wrote some stuff in the blog, and had nothing else to do for a moment. My friend s were still busy, so we was not able to meet yet. My mood varies greatly during the day, so, it was nice in the morning, but I became a bit anxious and nervous in the midday. It may be related to the my GF leaving me not long ago, or to the anticipation of taking new strong substance in the public, or maybe it was just rainy and windy weather outside.
Despite never having bad trips (except maybe when I holed on MXE), I'm still not sure it is good idea to experiment with substances so often: I really don't want to become one of these zombies that are on huge doses of clonazepam/adderall/opiates daily. Maybe I'm being judgmental, but we all have our values we consider proper. Mine are being active member of society that is not relying on medications to exist in day-to-day life. I've read/heard/observed too many stories about people who abused drugs, and I certainly don't wish that for myself and my friends.
Anyway, I believe psychedelics are the least evil, and can be even beneficial in the long term, thing I suspect is not true for most other drugs.
So, I dressed sporty, like I usually do, and went jogging to my friend's Grizzly the parents house. It was around 6 km and it lifted my mood somewhat, although I still was slightly uneasy. I arrived early, so I went to the sauna by myself, not waiting for Grizzly with his best friend Sloth (like in ice age movie).
Sauna and beautiful garden near the house relaxed me, and I had nice conversation with Grizzly's dad, who was sipping some beer in celebration of national holiday.
Grizzly and Sloth arrived, went to sauna, had some beer. We ate some grilled meat, and sun arrived finally, giving another boost to our mood.
All in all, I had a nice mental state, very fitting for taking psychedelic, so I put a plain white piece of paper with 25i-nBOMe written on it between my cheek and gum at 20:15.
T 00:00
We left Grizzly's parents and headed to the town's arena. I took around an hour to get nearby, and I started to feel something very soft and mellow. It was feeling of slight sedation, calm mood lift and relaxation. It was a bit harder to stand of my feet then usual, but nothing really complex. Smells became more pronounced, bus smelled of booze and urine, so I was happy when we left it and headed to the forest arena.
My buddy Behemoth wanted to join us, but was slowed down by drunken girl arriving at his apt. She was asking for something to make her more sober, so he gave her 8g of piracetam (not a very wise thing to give her that much, but apparently it helped a little, and she was very hangover-free the next day).
T +01:20
We were walking through the woods to the arena, and substance started to hit me harder.
Sloth asked me if I have something to make life prettier. I had another 25i-nBOME blotter, but he was not seeking psychs. I also had some RC stims/euphoriants, but Sloth is a tweaker, so I did not want to give him his DOC, because it could have ended ugly. He abused speed more then once, and he knows he has a problem with it, so I suggested to give him MXE (very pure) instead. He had no idea, what is it, but took 22 mg capsule without doubt. I warned him, that he should not combine it with alcohol in large amounts, something he has trouble to do, because he is also a heavy drinker. Luckily, this evening he had only beer, traditional for this holiday, and not hard liquors.
I started to feel more happiness and everything around me felt nice. When we soon arrived at the arena, the feeling of spectacular and grandiose was peaking. I saw the stage from the above hill, and felt like this is huge rave with few hundred thousand participants, something like love parade, and not a small town party with barely a few thousand people. Important role in this played big stage with stroboscope, colored lights, loudspeakers and music equipment. I never was at the open air music festival before, and I imagine this party was something like such festival, especially in this state of mind.
So, with eyes wide open I walked through the crowd, not feeling any anxiety, fear, negative emotions or body load at all. I was breathing very easily, as I often feel on phenethylamines. I had not seen any visuals at all, not even hints of them. But this was irrelevant, because everything around me looked so amazing, and above all was feeling of absolute clarity and freedom, like I'm flying. It had very distinct “chemical” feel to it, but in the way that felt very nice. I had zero mindfuck, except that I perceived everything to be enjoyable.
It is hard to describe this feeling, as always with psychedelics, but I can at least try to tell you about some more prominent features.
It was not similar to empthatogens/tryptamines/methoxetamine in any way. It was not warm and cozy, it was not “natural” and “emotional”, but it was very soul-lifting. If I had to choose one word to describe this state, it will be “clarity”. Everything felt clear, transparent, spacey and whiffs of wind bringing fresh air sometimes happening made it even more so.
I met yet another friend, who was one of organizers of this party, and we spoke a little about how he was driving next on-stage performer, female pop singer that tried participate in Eurovision from our country. He said how she seemed a bit whimmy to him, but I guess most pop stars are.
Anyway, this diva was pretty hot, at least her body, and she rocked the stage, singing live and dancing like crazy. I was watching her performance and played backgammon for the first time with Grizzly at the same time, but Sloth went to get our buddy Clam. I wanted to dance, but stage was full of too young kids, so I thought the time has not come yet.
T +02:00
I had no problems understanding backgammon rules and playing, which confirms I was in pretty clear state of mind. But it soon became apparent, that watching at female bottom and listening to music is much more interesting, so we stopped playing. I was calling Sloth a few times, finally was able to get him, and he screamed through the noise that he feels like he drank a liter of vodka. Knowing he is able to handle that, I was ok with this, although I feared a little that he got too much beer in addition to MXE.
My buddy Behemoth finally arrived, already on methylone and with intent to take some 2c-b. Behemoth has become active stimulant user in the last months, something that is also troubling me. I feel somewhat uneasy I found ways into RC and drug scene and shown them to him (something he always wanted, though). My plan was to stick to well-known psychedelics, but temptation to try other RCs and entactogens was too big and I bowed.
After pop singer left the stage, orchestra arrived and started to perform traditional national songs, something that was not very interesting or fun. I like ethnic music when it is more hardcore and sounds unusual, not when it mimics something from the sixties.
T +03:00
We hanged around a little, and then, finally, huge fire was ignited, traditional for this celebration. It was made by authorities to entertain visitors. The huge fire near the tents with drinks and snacks spawned a multitude of sparks that were carried by the wind like a bunch of fireflies. It was charming spectacle, that I observed for a while in awe. It was so beautiful, I was ready to watch this for a long time, and probably did (hard to tell).
Meanwhile, traditional music orchestra finished playing, and DJs appeared. They started playing some techno/house/trance. It was a bit unexpected for me, because I thought our town is too conservative and laid back to play electronic music on such an event, where a lot of older people with families are present. So, this was a pleasant surprise, because I really like electronic music. Usually I listen to the more sophisticated genres, but in this state of mind any music with bass and rhythm was amazing.
With this feeling, I decided I want to dance, finally. At this time, Behemoth took 18 mg of 2c-b, and Sloth arrived with Clam, very calm and unemotional guy.
T +04:00
Sloth was very agitated and crazy from MXE, so he joined me in my passion to dance. We went up to the stage, and some guy tried to convince us to dance right there, at the bottom of the stage. But Sloth was not able to understand him, and I wanted to be in the crowd, to better feel unity.
When we got there, I danced my way closer to the DJs, speakers and colored lights, and then the crazy dancing began. It was the most important part of my trip, and I cannot describe it in a way human can understand and feel. But I will try. For a moment, only bass rhythm existed for me, nothing else in whole world. At this moment, feeling I described few paragraphs above reached its peak, the feeling of clarity and freedom, that manifested itself in bass rhythms and dance. My body was moving without my will, bending and jumping to the music. I felt unity with something higher, but not in a my stical way, but in a very concrete, practical way. You can say God manifested itself in a dance and music for me. At this moment, I understood what is rave culture all about, the principles of PLUR. I knew about them before, but through the mind, logic and reasoning, and now I experienced them directly, as an immanent experience.
I am not mystical or religious person, so I take it for what it was: it was chemical acting on my receptors combined with great set and setting. But this feeling was insanely beautiful and rocked my world similar or even more then many other things, including other psychedelics, entactogens or joy we experience from sex, food or exercise. The main difference was that all these things are too emotional for me, too rooted in real world and human feelings, with all their pitfalls and great moments.
But here, 25i-nBOMe made me feel closer to the some transhuman perpetual being, pure consciousness. There feelings are usually caused by cyberpunk culture for me, but here it was even cleaner, refined to absolute. Note, I'm not talking about some complex, clogged mind, “interesting” thoughts or concepts people often expect from psychs. This feeling of clarity was very simple, yet insanely powerful.
This first dance lasted for some time, I was probably doing pretty crazy movements on the dancefloor, not feeling need to stop or rest. But after some time, I decided we need to take a break, so we returned to Grizzly and Clam. Behemoth was dancing, too, and now he returned with us. He told me 2C-B is unfit for party setting for him, because he is starting to overanalyze everything, trying to understand how people work in social situations, what are their emotions and intents, and this made him too anxious and stopped him from enjoying the party. This is very familiar feeling for me, I get this from 2c-b too. Behemoth later took a lot of methylone (half a g) during that night, that helped him calm down feelings from 2c-b.
But anyway, I felt like I'm on the top of the world, so I decided I can take remaining 18 mg of 2c-b from him, to move my experience even further. So, I took a capsule and swallowed it.
I checked my pulse from time to time, and it was pretty high: 90 to 120 bpm in the calm state. Usually I have very low pulse, around 50 or 60 bpm. After dancing, and esp. when 2c-b started to come-up I felt some tightness in my chest, so I took some ibuprofen as vasodilator.
After that, we went dancing for a few more times, but none were as stunning as the first. During one of these times, when 2c-b already started to act, I had misunderstanding with the girl on the dancefloor: she did not want to be around me, which is not hard to understand, considering I probably acted and looked very strange. This made me sad for a while, because I started to overthink my issues: that I am bad in social rituals and have no idea what to do and how to act in each situation, esp. on the dancefloor. I think now I overreacted to this incident due to 2C-B making me too emotional. I obviously was too drugged to act proper, and I should have done what was right for me then: dance like it is last time in my life, and don't pay attention to people around me. But it was not so simple, because I experienced some anxiety from 2c-b come-up, and wanted to dance in the crowd, feeling united with fellow clubbers.
This was obviously not so simple in this setting, because almost all of them were just drank, and not under influence of other substances, not even speed. It was still good, nevertheless, but I still believe that best way to take psychs at festivals is when everyone is on them, this way you will feel relaxed, at ease and principles of PLUR will work to their best.
T +04:30
We went to nearby forest to allow Grizzly to smoke some weed. He shared it with Clam and Behemoth, not sure about Sloth, but I did not smoke, because I don't like weed anymore.
I suggested MXE to Clam in metaphoric way, but he did not understand, so I told him more directly that he may become something like Sloth in his current state. He reluctantly took 20+ mg capsule. He was affected by MXE later, but still was in very frozen and calm state of mind, not agitated and excited like Sloth. I guess it is just his character, and Clam is always like this.
T +05:30
We were still dancing or just listening to music sometimes, but Grizzly felt tired already, so he headed home. Sloth, meanwhile, told me he is running out of energy, so I gave hime second MXE capsule, with pretty small amount of 16mg of powder inside. It affected him very strongly (note, he also drank beer all this time), and we continued to dance, trying to take Clam with us, but he was not dancing, but just standing on stage being uncool. This did not bother me, though, because I was again with very uplifted mood.
T +07:00
Sloth was out of tobacco, and it was not able to buy one, so we went to the Grizzly's house, that is located nearby. We walked a little, but soon landed on the top of the hill, watching stage from the above, sitting on the grass near the police and guards. Sloth told me that his head hurts a little, so I gave him ibuprofen pill, not thinking there is police nearby. I had a lot of MXE and one 25i-nBOMe blotter with me, so it was probably not wise discussing us taking drugs and handing pills in front of the policemen, but I was in such a nice and euphoric state of mind I did not think of that. Luckily, police was friendly, and only observed stage to stop fights/things like that. After a while, we continued our journey to Grizzly's.
As we left the well lit stage, Sloth started to feel very strange sensations from MXE. You probably could say he really started tripping. He chatted with me a lot in very foggy language, but it all was interesting for me. I felt very relaxed, not worried about anything, cared about Sloth much, because now, after dancefloor bonding, we felt we became much closer. I hugged him and Grizzly a lot during this trip.
Sloth said to me several interesting things. First, he felt like the universe consists of child blocks and he is able to move, adjust and rearrange them by his wish. Second, he had strong urge to eradicate trees and their roots using hands (but not acted to do this, he just imagined that). I read about similar feelings from MXE in other reports, and felt some of this myself.
Third, he wanted to smoke so badly, he was ready to kill some squirrels. He just stood still in the pathway and declared “I want to smoke so much, I will kill squirrel for it without any pity!” Why in the world this is related, remains mystery.
T +07:30
We went to the Grizzly's place, where Sloth still was disoriented and confused. He wanted beer badly, but it was already almost 4 in the morning, so the only place he could get it was back at the forest arena. Clam was very tired by now, and wanted to go home, I, meanwhile, still was going strong from nBOMe and 2c-b I took, so after I ate some pie with milk, we headed back. I had not trouble eating sugary pie, although I did not feel such a strong hunger. Few hours back even smell of meaty food made be very uncomfortable, even slightly nauseous.
T +08:00
We got back to the arena, leaving our stuff in the Grizzly's apt. Sloth got himself a beer, and I bought a pizza using his money, because I left my wallet at Grizzly's. I already started to feel slight hunger, no wonder considering psychs started to wear off, and I was dancing/walking all night long.
We sat on a bench and watched how DJs announced it will be the last song tonight. I had no desire to dance anymore, but was generally happy and consent with myself. Some random old chap of different ethnicity from us came to us and started chatting in his language (we know it somewhat). He told us of his back problems, we shared it, because Sloth and me both have back pains too. Sloth gave him some advice how to alleviate these issues, and let's hope this old drunk man was able to comprehend this advice.
T +08:20
We slowly headed back, and then sat on a grass again, this time in the forest. We discussed drug usage and prohibition a little, Sloth told me how using speed too much makes you filthy and rotted inside, and he is pitiful he did it in the past and will probably do again. Also, he described me how alcohol works for him, from small dosages to huge, each level bringing something new, starting from ease and removing problems to total oblivion and crazy reckless fun.
T +09:00
We went to Grizzly's, took our stuff and headed to our homes. We parted our ways soon, but before it, we shared the best moments again: crazy and united euphoric dancing that brought us much closer. Sloth was not able to communicate with me this way before that, because I often appear as a snob to other people, because I use complex language and often speak about some abstract concepts, but not everyday things. We decided we should talk and socialize more, and try to this more also without drugs.
Sloth asked me to give him two more MXEs, but I declined, stating previous time I gave a person some drug, he took a lot of it immediately and this caused him to be slightly ill afterwards for a week or two, and caused me to be worried. So, I told Sloth I cannot do it right now, but we can discuss it next day (never happened).
T +10:00
As I was going home, mild depression and tiredness occupied my being. I started to think about how my GF left me, my huge mood swings and generalized anxiety, that become much more pronounced in the last months. I started to think if psychedelics played a role in all this, if they made it worse or not, something I am probably doing a way too much. The way back without my friends was something very hard to do, and all I was able to think was: I just need to get home, and it will become better. And it did.
T +10:30
Soon I arrived, took a shower, and had a dinner. Or was it breakfast? Anyway, I did not feel like sleeping yet, and I felt nice again, so I watched some videos on youtube, till my eyes started to close themselves.
T +12:00
I went to bed, and did not even took my usual sleep aid – melatonin. I slept well, and woke up after 8 hours, still tired and sleepy. Soon I went to bed again. Next few days were a bit too emotional for me, first in a good way: I remembered this glowing experience and told everyone of it, removing details of us using psychoactive substances. Then I had some anxiety and insomnia, but got on track again soon.
Summary
From the first use 25i-nBOMe impressed me enormously, and became one of my favourites. This is something in the area of what I imagined a perfect festival LSD trip like. The feeling of clarity, freedom and space, being free of anxiety and emotional overload was magnificent. Dancing, feeling unity with clubbers and bonding with friends was felt in a new way, something I never experienced before. I don't tnink 2c-b added anything to this experience. I see 1mg dosage for me as very nice overall, it allows act like sober, at the same time experiencing all the good sides. But I still eager to go higher and try 1.5 mg next time, maybe even 2 in the right setting.
This trip was so spectacular, I have real temptation to rate it 10, but a decided to leave this to ++++ trips a long time ago, if I ever be lucky enough to experience them.
Substance: 25i-nBOMe, 2C-B
Dosage: 1 mg 25i-nBOMe blotter, 18mg 2c-b at T +4:00
Personal data: Male, 85kg, 178 cm, 28 years old , athletic, exercise daily, but some back pains and undiagnosed ADHD and cyclothymic (slightly bipolar)
Medications and addictions: none except vitamins.
Set & Setting: In the evening, large city party, celebration of national holiday, with good friends, after sauna and relaxed conversations
Rating: 9.5/10
Previous experiences:
* 2C-B (x3)
* 2C-C (x2)
* 2C-D (x1)
* 2C-P (x2)
* 4-ACO-DMT (x2)
* 4-AcO-MiPT (x1)
* 4-HO-MET (x3)
* 5-APB (x1)
* 5-MeO-MiPT (x1)
* Alprazolam (x5)
* Amphetamine (x1)
* Codeine (x1)
* DOC (x3)
* DOI (x1)
* Dichloropane (x4)
* Etizolam (x5)
* Kratom (x4)
* LSD (x2)
* MDMA (x1)
* Methoxetamine (x7)
* Methylone (x3)
* Modafinil (1 week)
* Shrooms (x3)
* Salvia (x1)
* Weed and hash (many times)
Substance appearance: big simple paper blotter with 25i-nBOMe written on it
Closest previous trip: 47mg of 4-ACO-DMT plugged 1 week before
Tolerance: None
Sensitivity: hardhead to most substances
Addiction potential: average
Main effects: mood lift, feelings of clarity, freedom and space, desire to dance and socialize, feeling of grandiosity and spectacular surroundings, colors look great
Side effects: slight tightness in the chest in the middle of experience
After effects: Tiredness and mood swings in the subsequent days
Shulgin scale: ***
One night, our town had major celebration of national holiday that took place on the town main arena located in the forest. I had nothing better to do on the weekend, so I decided to go there with friends, taking some mind-altering substance, if I will have the mood. I was not certain which one, but I had two 1mg 25I-nBOME blotters sent for me as samples from online vendor, and I decided to give it a try for the first time. I had no idea, if these blotters are HCl or freebase supplemented with HPBCD, but I suspect the latter.
In the morning I cleaned up my apt, wrote some stuff in the blog, and had nothing else to do for a moment. My friend s were still busy, so we was not able to meet yet. My mood varies greatly during the day, so, it was nice in the morning, but I became a bit anxious and nervous in the midday. It may be related to the my GF leaving me not long ago, or to the anticipation of taking new strong substance in the public, or maybe it was just rainy and windy weather outside.
Despite never having bad trips (except maybe when I holed on MXE), I'm still not sure it is good idea to experiment with substances so often: I really don't want to become one of these zombies that are on huge doses of clonazepam/adderall/opiates daily. Maybe I'm being judgmental, but we all have our values we consider proper. Mine are being active member of society that is not relying on medications to exist in day-to-day life. I've read/heard/observed too many stories about people who abused drugs, and I certainly don't wish that for myself and my friends.
Anyway, I believe psychedelics are the least evil, and can be even beneficial in the long term, thing I suspect is not true for most other drugs.
So, I dressed sporty, like I usually do, and went jogging to my friend's Grizzly the parents house. It was around 6 km and it lifted my mood somewhat, although I still was slightly uneasy. I arrived early, so I went to the sauna by myself, not waiting for Grizzly with his best friend Sloth (like in ice age movie).
Sauna and beautiful garden near the house relaxed me, and I had nice conversation with Grizzly's dad, who was sipping some beer in celebration of national holiday.
Grizzly and Sloth arrived, went to sauna, had some beer. We ate some grilled meat, and sun arrived finally, giving another boost to our mood.
All in all, I had a nice mental state, very fitting for taking psychedelic, so I put a plain white piece of paper with 25i-nBOMe written on it between my cheek and gum at 20:15.
T 00:00
We left Grizzly's parents and headed to the town's arena. I took around an hour to get nearby, and I started to feel something very soft and mellow. It was feeling of slight sedation, calm mood lift and relaxation. It was a bit harder to stand of my feet then usual, but nothing really complex. Smells became more pronounced, bus smelled of booze and urine, so I was happy when we left it and headed to the forest arena.
My buddy Behemoth wanted to join us, but was slowed down by drunken girl arriving at his apt. She was asking for something to make her more sober, so he gave her 8g of piracetam (not a very wise thing to give her that much, but apparently it helped a little, and she was very hangover-free the next day).
T +01:20
We were walking through the woods to the arena, and substance started to hit me harder.
Sloth asked me if I have something to make life prettier. I had another 25i-nBOME blotter, but he was not seeking psychs. I also had some RC stims/euphoriants, but Sloth is a tweaker, so I did not want to give him his DOC, because it could have ended ugly. He abused speed more then once, and he knows he has a problem with it, so I suggested to give him MXE (very pure) instead. He had no idea, what is it, but took 22 mg capsule without doubt. I warned him, that he should not combine it with alcohol in large amounts, something he has trouble to do, because he is also a heavy drinker. Luckily, this evening he had only beer, traditional for this holiday, and not hard liquors.
I started to feel more happiness and everything around me felt nice. When we soon arrived at the arena, the feeling of spectacular and grandiose was peaking. I saw the stage from the above hill, and felt like this is huge rave with few hundred thousand participants, something like love parade, and not a small town party with barely a few thousand people. Important role in this played big stage with stroboscope, colored lights, loudspeakers and music equipment. I never was at the open air music festival before, and I imagine this party was something like such festival, especially in this state of mind.
So, with eyes wide open I walked through the crowd, not feeling any anxiety, fear, negative emotions or body load at all. I was breathing very easily, as I often feel on phenethylamines. I had not seen any visuals at all, not even hints of them. But this was irrelevant, because everything around me looked so amazing, and above all was feeling of absolute clarity and freedom, like I'm flying. It had very distinct “chemical” feel to it, but in the way that felt very nice. I had zero mindfuck, except that I perceived everything to be enjoyable.
It is hard to describe this feeling, as always with psychedelics, but I can at least try to tell you about some more prominent features.
It was not similar to empthatogens/tryptamines/methoxetamine in any way. It was not warm and cozy, it was not “natural” and “emotional”, but it was very soul-lifting. If I had to choose one word to describe this state, it will be “clarity”. Everything felt clear, transparent, spacey and whiffs of wind bringing fresh air sometimes happening made it even more so.
I met yet another friend, who was one of organizers of this party, and we spoke a little about how he was driving next on-stage performer, female pop singer that tried participate in Eurovision from our country. He said how she seemed a bit whimmy to him, but I guess most pop stars are.
Anyway, this diva was pretty hot, at least her body, and she rocked the stage, singing live and dancing like crazy. I was watching her performance and played backgammon for the first time with Grizzly at the same time, but Sloth went to get our buddy Clam. I wanted to dance, but stage was full of too young kids, so I thought the time has not come yet.
T +02:00
I had no problems understanding backgammon rules and playing, which confirms I was in pretty clear state of mind. But it soon became apparent, that watching at female bottom and listening to music is much more interesting, so we stopped playing. I was calling Sloth a few times, finally was able to get him, and he screamed through the noise that he feels like he drank a liter of vodka. Knowing he is able to handle that, I was ok with this, although I feared a little that he got too much beer in addition to MXE.
My buddy Behemoth finally arrived, already on methylone and with intent to take some 2c-b. Behemoth has become active stimulant user in the last months, something that is also troubling me. I feel somewhat uneasy I found ways into RC and drug scene and shown them to him (something he always wanted, though). My plan was to stick to well-known psychedelics, but temptation to try other RCs and entactogens was too big and I bowed.
After pop singer left the stage, orchestra arrived and started to perform traditional national songs, something that was not very interesting or fun. I like ethnic music when it is more hardcore and sounds unusual, not when it mimics something from the sixties.
T +03:00
We hanged around a little, and then, finally, huge fire was ignited, traditional for this celebration. It was made by authorities to entertain visitors. The huge fire near the tents with drinks and snacks spawned a multitude of sparks that were carried by the wind like a bunch of fireflies. It was charming spectacle, that I observed for a while in awe. It was so beautiful, I was ready to watch this for a long time, and probably did (hard to tell).
Meanwhile, traditional music orchestra finished playing, and DJs appeared. They started playing some techno/house/trance. It was a bit unexpected for me, because I thought our town is too conservative and laid back to play electronic music on such an event, where a lot of older people with families are present. So, this was a pleasant surprise, because I really like electronic music. Usually I listen to the more sophisticated genres, but in this state of mind any music with bass and rhythm was amazing.
With this feeling, I decided I want to dance, finally. At this time, Behemoth took 18 mg of 2c-b, and Sloth arrived with Clam, very calm and unemotional guy.
T +04:00
Sloth was very agitated and crazy from MXE, so he joined me in my passion to dance. We went up to the stage, and some guy tried to convince us to dance right there, at the bottom of the stage. But Sloth was not able to understand him, and I wanted to be in the crowd, to better feel unity.
When we got there, I danced my way closer to the DJs, speakers and colored lights, and then the crazy dancing began. It was the most important part of my trip, and I cannot describe it in a way human can understand and feel. But I will try. For a moment, only bass rhythm existed for me, nothing else in whole world. At this moment, feeling I described few paragraphs above reached its peak, the feeling of clarity and freedom, that manifested itself in bass rhythms and dance. My body was moving without my will, bending and jumping to the music. I felt unity with something higher, but not in a my stical way, but in a very concrete, practical way. You can say God manifested itself in a dance and music for me. At this moment, I understood what is rave culture all about, the principles of PLUR. I knew about them before, but through the mind, logic and reasoning, and now I experienced them directly, as an immanent experience.
I am not mystical or religious person, so I take it for what it was: it was chemical acting on my receptors combined with great set and setting. But this feeling was insanely beautiful and rocked my world similar or even more then many other things, including other psychedelics, entactogens or joy we experience from sex, food or exercise. The main difference was that all these things are too emotional for me, too rooted in real world and human feelings, with all their pitfalls and great moments.
But here, 25i-nBOMe made me feel closer to the some transhuman perpetual being, pure consciousness. There feelings are usually caused by cyberpunk culture for me, but here it was even cleaner, refined to absolute. Note, I'm not talking about some complex, clogged mind, “interesting” thoughts or concepts people often expect from psychs. This feeling of clarity was very simple, yet insanely powerful.
This first dance lasted for some time, I was probably doing pretty crazy movements on the dancefloor, not feeling need to stop or rest. But after some time, I decided we need to take a break, so we returned to Grizzly and Clam. Behemoth was dancing, too, and now he returned with us. He told me 2C-B is unfit for party setting for him, because he is starting to overanalyze everything, trying to understand how people work in social situations, what are their emotions and intents, and this made him too anxious and stopped him from enjoying the party. This is very familiar feeling for me, I get this from 2c-b too. Behemoth later took a lot of methylone (half a g) during that night, that helped him calm down feelings from 2c-b.
But anyway, I felt like I'm on the top of the world, so I decided I can take remaining 18 mg of 2c-b from him, to move my experience even further. So, I took a capsule and swallowed it.
I checked my pulse from time to time, and it was pretty high: 90 to 120 bpm in the calm state. Usually I have very low pulse, around 50 or 60 bpm. After dancing, and esp. when 2c-b started to come-up I felt some tightness in my chest, so I took some ibuprofen as vasodilator.
After that, we went dancing for a few more times, but none were as stunning as the first. During one of these times, when 2c-b already started to act, I had misunderstanding with the girl on the dancefloor: she did not want to be around me, which is not hard to understand, considering I probably acted and looked very strange. This made me sad for a while, because I started to overthink my issues: that I am bad in social rituals and have no idea what to do and how to act in each situation, esp. on the dancefloor. I think now I overreacted to this incident due to 2C-B making me too emotional. I obviously was too drugged to act proper, and I should have done what was right for me then: dance like it is last time in my life, and don't pay attention to people around me. But it was not so simple, because I experienced some anxiety from 2c-b come-up, and wanted to dance in the crowd, feeling united with fellow clubbers.
This was obviously not so simple in this setting, because almost all of them were just drank, and not under influence of other substances, not even speed. It was still good, nevertheless, but I still believe that best way to take psychs at festivals is when everyone is on them, this way you will feel relaxed, at ease and principles of PLUR will work to their best.
T +04:30
We went to nearby forest to allow Grizzly to smoke some weed. He shared it with Clam and Behemoth, not sure about Sloth, but I did not smoke, because I don't like weed anymore.
I suggested MXE to Clam in metaphoric way, but he did not understand, so I told him more directly that he may become something like Sloth in his current state. He reluctantly took 20+ mg capsule. He was affected by MXE later, but still was in very frozen and calm state of mind, not agitated and excited like Sloth. I guess it is just his character, and Clam is always like this.
T +05:30
We were still dancing or just listening to music sometimes, but Grizzly felt tired already, so he headed home. Sloth, meanwhile, told me he is running out of energy, so I gave hime second MXE capsule, with pretty small amount of 16mg of powder inside. It affected him very strongly (note, he also drank beer all this time), and we continued to dance, trying to take Clam with us, but he was not dancing, but just standing on stage being uncool. This did not bother me, though, because I was again with very uplifted mood.
T +07:00
Sloth was out of tobacco, and it was not able to buy one, so we went to the Grizzly's house, that is located nearby. We walked a little, but soon landed on the top of the hill, watching stage from the above, sitting on the grass near the police and guards. Sloth told me that his head hurts a little, so I gave him ibuprofen pill, not thinking there is police nearby. I had a lot of MXE and one 25i-nBOMe blotter with me, so it was probably not wise discussing us taking drugs and handing pills in front of the policemen, but I was in such a nice and euphoric state of mind I did not think of that. Luckily, police was friendly, and only observed stage to stop fights/things like that. After a while, we continued our journey to Grizzly's.
As we left the well lit stage, Sloth started to feel very strange sensations from MXE. You probably could say he really started tripping. He chatted with me a lot in very foggy language, but it all was interesting for me. I felt very relaxed, not worried about anything, cared about Sloth much, because now, after dancefloor bonding, we felt we became much closer. I hugged him and Grizzly a lot during this trip.
Sloth said to me several interesting things. First, he felt like the universe consists of child blocks and he is able to move, adjust and rearrange them by his wish. Second, he had strong urge to eradicate trees and their roots using hands (but not acted to do this, he just imagined that). I read about similar feelings from MXE in other reports, and felt some of this myself.
Third, he wanted to smoke so badly, he was ready to kill some squirrels. He just stood still in the pathway and declared “I want to smoke so much, I will kill squirrel for it without any pity!” Why in the world this is related, remains mystery.
T +07:30
We went to the Grizzly's place, where Sloth still was disoriented and confused. He wanted beer badly, but it was already almost 4 in the morning, so the only place he could get it was back at the forest arena. Clam was very tired by now, and wanted to go home, I, meanwhile, still was going strong from nBOMe and 2c-b I took, so after I ate some pie with milk, we headed back. I had not trouble eating sugary pie, although I did not feel such a strong hunger. Few hours back even smell of meaty food made be very uncomfortable, even slightly nauseous.
T +08:00
We got back to the arena, leaving our stuff in the Grizzly's apt. Sloth got himself a beer, and I bought a pizza using his money, because I left my wallet at Grizzly's. I already started to feel slight hunger, no wonder considering psychs started to wear off, and I was dancing/walking all night long.
We sat on a bench and watched how DJs announced it will be the last song tonight. I had no desire to dance anymore, but was generally happy and consent with myself. Some random old chap of different ethnicity from us came to us and started chatting in his language (we know it somewhat). He told us of his back problems, we shared it, because Sloth and me both have back pains too. Sloth gave him some advice how to alleviate these issues, and let's hope this old drunk man was able to comprehend this advice.
T +08:20
We slowly headed back, and then sat on a grass again, this time in the forest. We discussed drug usage and prohibition a little, Sloth told me how using speed too much makes you filthy and rotted inside, and he is pitiful he did it in the past and will probably do again. Also, he described me how alcohol works for him, from small dosages to huge, each level bringing something new, starting from ease and removing problems to total oblivion and crazy reckless fun.
T +09:00
We went to Grizzly's, took our stuff and headed to our homes. We parted our ways soon, but before it, we shared the best moments again: crazy and united euphoric dancing that brought us much closer. Sloth was not able to communicate with me this way before that, because I often appear as a snob to other people, because I use complex language and often speak about some abstract concepts, but not everyday things. We decided we should talk and socialize more, and try to this more also without drugs.
Sloth asked me to give him two more MXEs, but I declined, stating previous time I gave a person some drug, he took a lot of it immediately and this caused him to be slightly ill afterwards for a week or two, and caused me to be worried. So, I told Sloth I cannot do it right now, but we can discuss it next day (never happened).
T +10:00
As I was going home, mild depression and tiredness occupied my being. I started to think about how my GF left me, my huge mood swings and generalized anxiety, that become much more pronounced in the last months. I started to think if psychedelics played a role in all this, if they made it worse or not, something I am probably doing a way too much. The way back without my friends was something very hard to do, and all I was able to think was: I just need to get home, and it will become better. And it did.
T +10:30
Soon I arrived, took a shower, and had a dinner. Or was it breakfast? Anyway, I did not feel like sleeping yet, and I felt nice again, so I watched some videos on youtube, till my eyes started to close themselves.
T +12:00
I went to bed, and did not even took my usual sleep aid – melatonin. I slept well, and woke up after 8 hours, still tired and sleepy. Soon I went to bed again. Next few days were a bit too emotional for me, first in a good way: I remembered this glowing experience and told everyone of it, removing details of us using psychoactive substances. Then I had some anxiety and insomnia, but got on track again soon.
Summary
From the first use 25i-nBOMe impressed me enormously, and became one of my favourites. This is something in the area of what I imagined a perfect festival LSD trip like. The feeling of clarity, freedom and space, being free of anxiety and emotional overload was magnificent. Dancing, feeling unity with clubbers and bonding with friends was felt in a new way, something I never experienced before. I don't tnink 2c-b added anything to this experience. I see 1mg dosage for me as very nice overall, it allows act like sober, at the same time experiencing all the good sides. But I still eager to go higher and try 1.5 mg next time, maybe even 2 in the right setting.
This trip was so spectacular, I have real temptation to rate it 10, but a decided to leave this to ++++ trips a long time ago, if I ever be lucky enough to experience them.
