First post here, hope im doing it right lol. I’ve been using cocaine daily for about 2 months and it has basically taken everything I have. I never thought addiction to stimulants could even happen for me, I’m an anxious person in general. I had tried crack twice before and hated it both times. I had the opportunity to get my hands on some coke, so I figured why not experience it, even if I hate it. Screwed up mindset lol. I didn’t realize the power that this drug has over your mind. Didn’t even think twice about trying it, because I thought it would only be a one time thing.
Anyway, my first time using I bought an 8 ball to share between me and a friend. I didn’t know how much to buy at the time, so I figured an 8 ball was pretty average lol. Got too much.
We burned through about half the bag throughout the night. Time disappeared and before I knew it I was sniffing my last line at 4am, and had work in 4 hours. The crash was worse than I thought it would be, it was extremely uncomfortable and very depressing. Left me feeling like an idiot, I had the wrong impression of how powerful this drug is. The crash is so much stronger than the high, I didn’t expect it. I panicked and called out (btw, I lost my job today). Slept all day, and told myself I would never touch it again.
So like I said we burned through about half the bag. I bought it so I kept the rest. I figured I’d save it for a special occasion, because it was fun and I did enjoy it, but now that I knew how the crash was, I figured I would prepare myself for it next time and make sure I had nothing to do the next day.
Clearly that didn’t happen.
Only a few hours after waking up, it’s like I forgot about the crash. I looked at my bag and figured “why not, I have the day off”. I didn’t realize how manipulative this drug is.
A bump turned into a line, and a line turned into using all day. As soon as I felt the crash, did some more. All day and all night until my bag was running low. I told myself “alright you had your fun, now save the rest for a few lines on a special occasion”
Once again crashed horribly (I’m prone to depression and it’s a horrible depressed feeling on the comedown for me). I think ultimately that’s what led to so much using. I’m running from the crash, and it’s almost as if this stuff just takes full control of me. I’m afraid to stop to tell the truth.
Basically, jumping to this present moment, I’ve spent at least $2k on chemicals in 2 months. Lost my job as a TATTOO ARTIST. Lost my families trust, etc. basically everything, and I still cannot stop.
I binged more than I ever have the other morning. About 2 grams in probably about an hour. My heart rate was completely through the roof. According to my Apple Watch, my heart rate was a whopping 192. I check my heart rate everytime I use, as to make sure my heart doesn’t go through too much distress. I was having some sort of mental breakdown, and used way too much.
I freaked out, and needed to tell someone. I called my cousin, which then spread to my entire family.
I stopped using yesterday morning, promised myself and my family I would stay away from it.
I took a nap today and was dreaming about using. The cravings are un explainable.
So I took it hour by hour throughout the day and night. Before I knew it, it was like something took over me. I didn’t even think twice. Went and picked up. Been using all night and I feel like shit about it.
Basically, my question is have any of you been through this after only 2 months of use? How bad is it going to be when I stop? Idk what to expect and I’m afraid of slipping into a horrible depression. Any tips or advice are very much welcome. I wish I never touched it. So if you’re reading this before you’ve ever used it, just DONT. The high isn’t worth the low.
Anyway, my first time using I bought an 8 ball to share between me and a friend. I didn’t know how much to buy at the time, so I figured an 8 ball was pretty average lol. Got too much.
We burned through about half the bag throughout the night. Time disappeared and before I knew it I was sniffing my last line at 4am, and had work in 4 hours. The crash was worse than I thought it would be, it was extremely uncomfortable and very depressing. Left me feeling like an idiot, I had the wrong impression of how powerful this drug is. The crash is so much stronger than the high, I didn’t expect it. I panicked and called out (btw, I lost my job today). Slept all day, and told myself I would never touch it again.
So like I said we burned through about half the bag. I bought it so I kept the rest. I figured I’d save it for a special occasion, because it was fun and I did enjoy it, but now that I knew how the crash was, I figured I would prepare myself for it next time and make sure I had nothing to do the next day.
Clearly that didn’t happen.
Only a few hours after waking up, it’s like I forgot about the crash. I looked at my bag and figured “why not, I have the day off”. I didn’t realize how manipulative this drug is.
A bump turned into a line, and a line turned into using all day. As soon as I felt the crash, did some more. All day and all night until my bag was running low. I told myself “alright you had your fun, now save the rest for a few lines on a special occasion”
Once again crashed horribly (I’m prone to depression and it’s a horrible depressed feeling on the comedown for me). I think ultimately that’s what led to so much using. I’m running from the crash, and it’s almost as if this stuff just takes full control of me. I’m afraid to stop to tell the truth.
Basically, jumping to this present moment, I’ve spent at least $2k on chemicals in 2 months. Lost my job as a TATTOO ARTIST. Lost my families trust, etc. basically everything, and I still cannot stop.
I binged more than I ever have the other morning. About 2 grams in probably about an hour. My heart rate was completely through the roof. According to my Apple Watch, my heart rate was a whopping 192. I check my heart rate everytime I use, as to make sure my heart doesn’t go through too much distress. I was having some sort of mental breakdown, and used way too much.
I freaked out, and needed to tell someone. I called my cousin, which then spread to my entire family.
I stopped using yesterday morning, promised myself and my family I would stay away from it.
I took a nap today and was dreaming about using. The cravings are un explainable.
So I took it hour by hour throughout the day and night. Before I knew it, it was like something took over me. I didn’t even think twice. Went and picked up. Been using all night and I feel like shit about it.
Basically, my question is have any of you been through this after only 2 months of use? How bad is it going to be when I stop? Idk what to expect and I’m afraid of slipping into a horrible depression. Any tips or advice are very much welcome. I wish I never touched it. So if you’re reading this before you’ve ever used it, just DONT. The high isn’t worth the low.
