I am finally clean. So much has changed, it is wonderful. Happiest time of my whole entire life I'd say and I mean deep down, real, true happiness that doesn't have to do with my hurricane heroin trashed life. I met a beautiful woman a while ago, and we are moving in together in the near future. She is amazing, and I never would have met her if I was a junkie. At first I had to drag myself out of bed just to make it to her place some days, I was in very early recovery. I am in much later recovery now and no longer physically dependent at all... just low energy. It's nice to have 80 bucks in my wallet and not be scheming about how to spend it on drugs. My past behaviour is disgusting to me.
I can't believe I finally did it. I had to sacrifice over a month of my life, easily that long, but things are just so much better now. No offence but if you use this drug, you made a really stupid, risky mistake for trying it even if everything went just swell. That's always how it starts, people thinking they can handle it when they don't have a fucking clue what they are getting into. Be my guest and destroy yourself. I consider myself lucky to be alive and I will never even consider using such a disgusting, filthy drug as long as I live. If my spine hurts so bad that I can't even walk like it does sometimes I'll take a fuckin 5mg percocet or half of one like a normal pain patient is supposed to.
Looking back, those were the most miserable years of my whole entire life. I really had to make a lot of changes, but I didn't give a fuck about anything but my dope supply. This drug could easily have killed me so many times, and the fun did not last long at all before I was warmly welcomed to Hell. I believe politically that anyone who sells this disgusting filth should be burned on the stake publicly, but I understand that view is unconventional. Western society is way too easy on the scum who deal with this trash though. Maybe if they were brutally slaughtered when they were caught, usage would go down but I really don't know. All I know is I hate it so much I would put a bullet in my head before sniffing it EVER again. Out of self respect for myself. Don't be a fucking dumbass like I was, seriously, are people capable of listening and learning in advance these days? Or do you need to ruin your life first as well.