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Harm Reduction ⫸Should I Try HEROIN?⫷

That's what I hope as well. I would have been happy if we have 'saved' at least one.
 
Needless to say, street heroin is more dangerous now than ever. When I first tried it, finding fentanyl in heroin was a real risk but still uncommon enough that specific hot batches made the news.

Fast forward a couple years, and anyone can order dozens of fentanyl analogues. It can and should now assumed that you will encounter acetyl or carfent cut in dope, or even sold as H. Carfent is so much stronger than fentanyl that it is not used legitimately except for very large animals or as a chemical weapon. Carfent has been showing up this year in major metropolitan areas all over the country.

Now the question is not so much if one should try heroin, but if one play Russian roulette.

Everyone knows that heroin is absurdly addictive in an insidiously subjective way. It happens gradually. We all know acute withdrawal is disabling and torturous. We all know the danger of overdose and know people who have had their souls destroyed, jobs lost, friends and family lost, and lives lost.

What most non-users do not understand until too late is that acute withdrawal or overdose or legal risk are actually secondary to the real reason we suggest not taking this road. It is so hard to escape this life because heroin addiction is purgatory, but P.A.W.S. is the 9th circle of hell.

Those who manage to get clean, whether medically assisted or on their own, will usually relapse within a year even with support. You will never forget how it feels, and opiates are the perfect psychiatric drug...until it stops working. Anxiety, depression, stress, boredom...all gone, at doses that leave you functional and not visibly messed intoxicated to others. But when you eventually need to stop, and you eventually will because it is not sustainable, you are left with every mental symptom it initially cured.

The acute withdrawal is nothing compared to the reality of PAWS. For a year or more after the physical withdrawal, you will lose the ability to feel anything but depression, existential dread, and loneliness. You will have little or no interest in anything besides curing yourself with more drugs. No motivation, no comfort, and no end in sight. Your life will lose all color. And you will be profoundly alone.

You will eventually heal. There is hope. But every time you relapse, it will get worse. The clock will reset and it will take even longer for your brain to recover. Meanwhile, your relationships never will, and many people resign themselves to addiction. You will be married to this drug for the rest of your life. You can attempt a messy expensive divorce, but there is no annulment. You can rebuild your career, and you can rebuild your body. 20 years may pass, but you will never forget. I used to idolize Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a story of hope. Clean for decades, he went on to talent and success, bringing joy to millions and humanizing the imperfect. When he relapsed and died during the height of his career, part of me died along with him.
 
Just please don't try any strong opioids, nor mild (lead to stronger) opioids more than once if you like them. You will end up addicted thats for sure, you want that? IF you do then go ahead, ruins you're life.
 
Transcendence said:
Needless to say, street heroin is more dangerous now than ever. When I first tried it, finding fentanyl in heroin was a real risk but still uncommon enough that specific hot batches made the news.

Fast forward a couple years, and anyone can order dozens of fentanyl analogues. It can and should now assumed that you will encounter acetyl or carfent cut in dope, or even sold as H. Carfent is so much stronger than fentanyl that it is not used legitimately except for very large animals or as a chemical weapon. Carfent has been showing up this year in major metropolitan areas all over the country.

Now the question is not so much if one should try heroin, but if one play Russian roulette.

Everyone knows that heroin is absurdly addictive in an insidiously subjective way. It happens gradually. We all know acute withdrawal is disabling and torturous. We all know the danger of overdose and know people who have had their souls destroyed, jobs lost, friends and family lost, and lives lost.

What most non-users do not understand until too late is that acute withdrawal or overdose or legal risk are actually secondary to the real reason we suggest not taking this road. It is so hard to escape this life because heroin addiction is purgatory, but P.A.W.S. is the 9th circle of hell.

Those who manage to get clean, whether medically assisted or on their own, will usually relapse within a year even with support. You will never forget how it feels, and opiates are the perfect psychiatric drug...until it stops working. Anxiety, depression, stress, boredom...all gone, at doses that leave you functional and not visibly messed intoxicated to others. But when you eventually need to stop, and you eventually will because it is not sustainable, you are left with every mental symptom it initially cured.

The acute withdrawal is nothing compared to the reality of PAWS. For a year or more after the physical withdrawal, you will lose the ability to feel anything but depression, existential dread, and loneliness. You will have little or no interest in anything besides curing yourself with more drugs. No motivation, no comfort, and no end in sight. Your life will lose all color. And you will be profoundly alone.

You will eventually heal. There is hope. But every time you relapse, it will get worse. The clock will reset and it will take even longer for your brain to recover. Meanwhile, your relationships never will, and many people resign themselves to addiction. You will be married to this drug for the rest of your life. You can attempt a messy expensive divorce, but there is no annulment. You can rebuild your career, and you can rebuild your body. 20 years may pass, but you will never forget. I used to idolize Phillip Seymour Hoffman as a story of hope. Clean for decades, he went on to talent and success, bringing joy to millions and humanizing the imperfect. When he relapsed and died during the height of his career, part of me died along with him.
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Great post, indeed.

People are dying everyday day. Someone yesterday mentioned that the numbers are higher, 50 000 deaths from ODs per year. Not so long ago, someone from Bluelight relapsed by snorting a small quantity of H, and colapsed a couple of seconds later. Others started to post similar issues. This is all very sad as most people can't forsee that this might happen to them too.
 
I'm from the Netherlands. There is a seperation here at 3 levels.
You can get softdrugs here at coffeeshops. More or less legally.
You can get harddrugs, as in speed, ghb, ketamine, etc from a dealer.
Opiates, in whatever form, you cant optain. At least not from my dealers.

After I did xtc for the first time, I did all drugs I could get my hands on (because xtc was that great).

After doing harddrugs for some months I found out, there are some negative aspects... about the same as with heroin I guess, but not as bad. Bad enough not to continue using them.

The pieces all of you wrote here, definitly convinced me to never try opiates, even if I could obtain them and even when the were legally prescribed...

So, what you all write here, does have some effects. Thank you all for finding out for me. My.... condoleances for having such hard time.

Much regards,

Vazkor
 
Hi I'm glad you've decided to stay away from the hard stuff. I started on opiates in pill form. I was smart enough at the time to have my doc prescribe high doses of opiate without tylenol. Otherwise I would have killed my kidneys. Then for a short period I got access to heroin. Don't try it!! It ruled my life, made me hang with the wrong crowd, thieves, liars, prostitutes. You name it. Finally one day someone pulled out a big gun and started talking about robbing their heroin dealer. I was out of there before you could say pakispy. I ended up getting really sick with one of my kidneys. I had two absess on left kidney. Spent a month in the hospital, lost 15 lbs. So you see you never know what bad can come from hard drugs. Be Good, I'm clean now nine years.
 
Vazkor said:
I'm from the Netherlands.

After doing harddrugs for some months I found out, there are some negative aspects... about the same as with heroin I guess, but not as bad. Bad enough not to continue using them.

The pieces all of you wrote here, definitly convinced me to never try opiates, even if I could obtain them and even when the were legally prescribed...

So, what you all write here, does have some effects. Thank you all for finding out for me. My.... condoleances for having such hard time.

Much regards,

Vazkor
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I am very glad to hear that, I don't think I have ever heard that from anyone. It's a great decision, the one thing you can safely say you won't regret.

Wish you all the best!

Erik
 
here, i wrote this the other day but it got deleted for being in the wrong place.

six years. six long years that went by all too fast. all that foil. all the loss
i wheeze in my lungs now, im out of breath just thinking of breathing
so much tar. up in smoke. too much money. fuck it you can have it. i dont deserve it. but i do deserve this
six years, or is it seven? I cant even remember how I started, so how should I know how to stop
sure, the benzos made me stupid and the meth made me paranoid. but with heroin...
nothing else matters. nothing else exists. you dont exist, because there is no existence
its perfect, nothing is wrong and nothing is right. nothing exists in oblivion
there could be nothing worse...than knowing that you are nothing

if heroin came from the word heroic, then why am i the one who has to be saved


its sad how hard it is to give up something you come to rely on, something that gives you a reason to get out of bed in the morning(or whenever)...
Ive heard heroin be described as the drug that never lets you go. you can let go of it, for awhile, but even if you know you need to say goodbye to it forever, some small part of you doesnt want to. what i think is really fucked up is that when im strung out, im still not happy. you can use dope to make yourself feel better if youre sober and feeling down, but the truth is all it does is make you content in your misery. it doesnt take away your bad feelings, it just fools you into thinking that your problems dont matter. you dont forget about them, you just dont care. when using heroin, the only thing that matters is heroin.
 
You can let it go, it's not easy and you'll struggle for sometime, but it's doable. Some of us have done it. You can't do this forever. At some point your tolerance will put you in risk to OD. Or you may reach a rock bottom. You can do it. Life will never be the same but the sense of freedom is overwhelming. By the way, the word heroin was given because in the early 1900s, ironically this medication was made to cure Morphine addiction. They had no idea.
 
Who's there, that was one of the most accurate descriptions of opiate addiction I've ever heard. That's more or less what I'm going through and how I feel. Well said.
 
So what are you going to do about it? Don't let it control you - we are stronger than that. I've had been in opiates for decades (plural) coming off of them every here and then. I couldn't take it anymore. I lost my best years, but that doesn't have to happen to you. React! <3
 
so i really wanna try heroin.....what should i do lol

sorry in advance but for some reason i think if people say a response directly to me based on my situation, it might be more "effective" than reading someone else's thread/post about wanting to try something who probably isn't really like me. that probably doesn't make sense but oh well.

so i have bad anxiety. repetitive thoughts that i can never seem to stop, like i can't choose what i think almost, like i said i can't stop my thoughts and it makes me feel terrible. there's never an escape, sometimes i am happy, but many times it's fake and i'm worrying about how long my good mood will last before i feel like shit again. i've tried medication, nothing seems to help.

now i think that heroin is the only thing that could possibly give me a complete feeling of happiness. i've looked it up and heard what the high is like and it sounds great. people tell me not to try it (my parents-i'm 15) because i "have an addictive personality" and somehow they think that because i have problems overeating sugary food, or that there's a neighborhood (shitty one, stupid i know) that i have been walking in for the better part of 4 years and literally cannot go without walking there. there's so many other areas, but i've chose that one. anyways, i don't get how that contributes to an addictive personality. i tried cigarettes with my friend the other day and didn't wanna stop until i had to go home, where i still wanted to smoke. but cigarettes aren't opiates. lol.

they say because there's addiction history in my family that i should tread very lightly with anything. yeah well just because my entire family has hazel/brown eyes doesn't mean i do. i don't. mine are blue.

i honestly don't think i'd get addicted. at all. not to make light of anyone's situation, but i just can never see it happening to me. not because i think i have great self control- i have very shitty self control. but i just want an escape; at the same time it's possible for me to fuck my life up, i don't want that.

what should i do here? i feel lost.
 
You should talk to your parents about how you feel and ask for help. If they cant or wont help then you need to ask for help from a Dr or a therapist. Heroin's not going to help you.
 
I agree with the person above to a degree. Definitely talk to your parents, but don't tell them you want to do drugs, but the issues that make you feel like using them.

You are only 15... Heroin will ruin your life.
 
BurritoJimmy said:
You should talk to your parents about how you feel and ask for help. If they cant or wont help then you need to ask for help from a Dr or a therapist. Heroin's not going to help you.
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i do talk to them, they tell me not to do it because my life will be fucked i just have a hard time honestly believing what they're saying. i see a therapist but ive only been seeing her two times so far, that and my parents are trying to get me to switch again so i can go somewhere and get prescribed something which i honestly don't feel like doing
 
tacodude said:
I agree with the person above to a degree. Definitely talk to your parents, but don't tell them you want to do drugs, but the issues that make you feel like using them.

You are only 15... Heroin will ruin your life.
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too late, they're already aware of my desire to try heroin. but they also know my issues, they say i should try medication, but as i said above this place i go to doesn't have a psychiatrist to prescribe anything so my parents are trying to get me to switch places again
 
Erikmen said:
Absolutely! There’s no happy ending here, regardless whether you decide or not to quit it at some point.
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but i thought if i would do that, then ended up quitting, id just move on and have a normal life. i don’t think that’s how it goes the majority of the time but i always deny the possibility of anything happening to me
 
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