Hello friends. I feel like shit. Wondering if anyone has any advice.
My days have usually gone like this for many months:
Ritalin before breakfast
Amphetamine whenever I fancy, up until 5-6pm
Near-constant beer after midday
Tobacco all day
Cannabis and wine/spirits in the evening
Often 500mg Soma
Evening meal once/if the speed allows
These days are usually fun and productive.
Several days a week, cocaine would join the party, when I started coming down off the speed/ritalin but didn't want to commit to another dose for sleep purposes. I would naturally drink and smoke loads more these evenings. And usually polish it off with a few Somas, occasionally a Xanax/Valium.
These days were fun at the time but demonstrably damaged my ability to achieve the following day. I also think I was doing real damage to my nose with the coke.
They are my normal day-to-day days, when it's just me, working for myself. When friends turn up it is nearly always an absolute bender well into the next day, often with additional drugs like MDMA and ketamine.
Anyway, I've basically been using that handful of drugs (in the title) to regulate every part of my life. For work, for pleasure, to be social, to be introverted, to sleep, to wake up, when I feel good, and when I feel bad.
I decided I want to see what life is like with none of it. And what better and more cliche a time to quit than the new year?
I didn't go to bed until 9pm on New Years Day so this is literally day 2 sober for me. Sleep was awful last night. I had a brief nightmare where Tyson Fury was about to rape me! Which is actually quite hilarious in hindsight. I've never ever had a dream like that before and it's almost like the universe saying "I'll teach you for trying to quit drugs!" He didn't rape me as I was semi-lucid and managed to wake myself up. But it was a horrible night going from hot to cold and falling asleep briefly just to lie there awake for another hour.
Today, I just feel like shit. Flat, and miserable. I have loads of shit to do. Loads. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I just want to cuddle up somewhere warm and mindlessly consume media. Either that or resume booze/stims and crack on with my work.
I know that's a whole load of horse shit I just wrote but if anyone's got any advice, I'd love to hear it.
My days have usually gone like this for many months:
Ritalin before breakfast
Amphetamine whenever I fancy, up until 5-6pm
Near-constant beer after midday
Tobacco all day
Cannabis and wine/spirits in the evening
Often 500mg Soma
Evening meal once/if the speed allows
These days are usually fun and productive.
Several days a week, cocaine would join the party, when I started coming down off the speed/ritalin but didn't want to commit to another dose for sleep purposes. I would naturally drink and smoke loads more these evenings. And usually polish it off with a few Somas, occasionally a Xanax/Valium.
These days were fun at the time but demonstrably damaged my ability to achieve the following day. I also think I was doing real damage to my nose with the coke.
They are my normal day-to-day days, when it's just me, working for myself. When friends turn up it is nearly always an absolute bender well into the next day, often with additional drugs like MDMA and ketamine.
Anyway, I've basically been using that handful of drugs (in the title) to regulate every part of my life. For work, for pleasure, to be social, to be introverted, to sleep, to wake up, when I feel good, and when I feel bad.
I decided I want to see what life is like with none of it. And what better and more cliche a time to quit than the new year?
I didn't go to bed until 9pm on New Years Day so this is literally day 2 sober for me. Sleep was awful last night. I had a brief nightmare where Tyson Fury was about to rape me! Which is actually quite hilarious in hindsight. I've never ever had a dream like that before and it's almost like the universe saying "I'll teach you for trying to quit drugs!" He didn't rape me as I was semi-lucid and managed to wake myself up. But it was a horrible night going from hot to cold and falling asleep briefly just to lie there awake for another hour.
Today, I just feel like shit. Flat, and miserable. I have loads of shit to do. Loads. But I just can't bring myself to do it. I just want to cuddle up somewhere warm and mindlessly consume media. Either that or resume booze/stims and crack on with my work.
I know that's a whole load of horse shit I just wrote but if anyone's got any advice, I'd love to hear it.