There's no such thing as true equality in the world, only ideologically. There are always people who are "more" or "less" of something than other people. In the gay world, this hierarchy plays out almost entirely based on looks and physical attributes, and it is all channeled through the lens of sex. (Side note, I am talking about gay CULTURE, there are obviously diverse individuals out there.) Hypermasculine features are favoured: muscles, facial hair, height, deep voice (especially if it's non-faggy), emotionally subdued demeanor, stoicism, etc. Men with these attributes or those who are just above average attractive in general are usually acutely aware that they are higher on the hierarchy and behave accordingly, sometimes as jerks. 10/10 guys will usually only be with other 10/10 guys or slightly lower. They may use and discard men who reside at any level on the hierarchy, but that's no different than straight men and women who are hot. The self-awareness in the gay male world is excessive though. Because men are attracted to men they also curate themselves to be attractive, which means there is hyper awareness of bodily features and attributes. It's bizarre. It's why straight women always say that gay men are so attractive. Well duh, it's because they know what a good looking man looks like so they curate themselves.
What is unique in the gay world is that there are two hierarchies running simultaneously. There is the attractiveness hierarchy... so gay men are catty and competitive with one another like women are with other women about looks and sexual power. But then they are also competing in the dominance hierarchy, just like straight men do (i.e. the desire to be "alpha" with career and money). When the two complexes collide, it makes for a lot of intrigue. A man may like you because you're physically hot but then compete with you because you are a financial adversary. He may want to BE you because you are hotter than him. He may want to procure you and shelter you from other men, possessively. He may want to treat you like shit because he thinks he's better than you, yet he will still sleep with you because he's sexually attracted to you; or may he resent the fact that he's gay and attracted to you at all. Basically, all the dynamics that can occur between men and women in a statistically sex-divided way, ALL occur within gay male relationships.
And yes, there are bullies in the gay world. There are narcissists, sociopaths and psychopaths. There are people with low self-esteem who take it out on other men. I don't know about the nerd thing. Nerds get made fun of everywhere, but in the gay world "nerds" and "geeks" are a subculture that is desirable to some. I for one love a guy who is attractive and also super smart because I can't date dullards.
It's so complicated. Yet somehow we manage to function in the world lol.
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