It's been probably 12 years since I've posted. I tried bluelight.ru and thought it was gone at first.
Anyway so I am currently seeing a neurologist it's been over 18 months and lupus and ms have been ruled out and I'm more than certain I've got Parkinsons.. I'm 30 years old was an IV heroine user for 9 years I've been on methadone 3 years now I've come down from 120mg to 36mg and am on track to be off in a year.
My mental health has been piss poor since I was 15 but my brother died a few years ago and then my three real friends as well as my highschool gf all committed suicide separately but spaced out in less than a year after my brother died and I have become beyond reclusive and anti social from losing the only real friends I've ever had, with my best friend who was also my roommate who hanged himself and I had to find him...
Since all this trauma my parkinsonism has evolved beyond simple parkinsonism with slowly evolving neuropathy and fasciculation originating on my outer nose and is now affecting my lip and eye. It's clear to me I have something wrong.
I occasionally would buy meth off the dude upstairs when my concerta would run out {honestly they both do the same - they get me out of bed, I can some times enjoy playing a video game, go outside etc}, but a buddy of mine came through with some exceptionally high quality stuff and I live in the biggest city in my province but this came from BC not a local cook. I have been sleeping I have been eating but lately it's just making my anxiety disorders worse especially OCD but I never get high enough to the point of wanting to play one of my fav games (escape from tarkov) other than the first day that my buddy came by and gave it to me.
Is this because I've fried my dopamine receptors? I just finished a huge puddle (with a completely clean and see through glass bowl with no foreign objects, usually at the end there's a need to clean the pipe but it's not that significant).
I've been on Xanax for 12 and a half years with my doctor giving me only a six months notice that he's retiring so im 18 weeks I'm gonna be fucked because he said he couldn't find a doctor to take me because I'm on 5.5mg/daily (even when I used to be on 8mg a day{when my brother died}) for years.
I'm also on 600mg Lyrica daily
And 72mg methylphenidate
Why does meth not work I used to be able to binge for multiple weeks and after a sleep I'd be back at it (this was back when I was an IV heroin addict and even after when I was only on methadone)
Anyone got any advice?
Anyway so I am currently seeing a neurologist it's been over 18 months and lupus and ms have been ruled out and I'm more than certain I've got Parkinsons.. I'm 30 years old was an IV heroine user for 9 years I've been on methadone 3 years now I've come down from 120mg to 36mg and am on track to be off in a year.
My mental health has been piss poor since I was 15 but my brother died a few years ago and then my three real friends as well as my highschool gf all committed suicide separately but spaced out in less than a year after my brother died and I have become beyond reclusive and anti social from losing the only real friends I've ever had, with my best friend who was also my roommate who hanged himself and I had to find him...
Since all this trauma my parkinsonism has evolved beyond simple parkinsonism with slowly evolving neuropathy and fasciculation originating on my outer nose and is now affecting my lip and eye. It's clear to me I have something wrong.
I occasionally would buy meth off the dude upstairs when my concerta would run out {honestly they both do the same - they get me out of bed, I can some times enjoy playing a video game, go outside etc}, but a buddy of mine came through with some exceptionally high quality stuff and I live in the biggest city in my province but this came from BC not a local cook. I have been sleeping I have been eating but lately it's just making my anxiety disorders worse especially OCD but I never get high enough to the point of wanting to play one of my fav games (escape from tarkov) other than the first day that my buddy came by and gave it to me.
Is this because I've fried my dopamine receptors? I just finished a huge puddle (with a completely clean and see through glass bowl with no foreign objects, usually at the end there's a need to clean the pipe but it's not that significant).
I've been on Xanax for 12 and a half years with my doctor giving me only a six months notice that he's retiring so im 18 weeks I'm gonna be fucked because he said he couldn't find a doctor to take me because I'm on 5.5mg/daily (even when I used to be on 8mg a day{when my brother died}) for years.
I'm also on 600mg Lyrica daily
And 72mg methylphenidate
Why does meth not work I used to be able to binge for multiple weeks and after a sleep I'd be back at it (this was back when I was an IV heroin addict and even after when I was only on methadone)
Anyone got any advice?