Welcome to the bad
day month at Black Rock club.
I'm not only a member, I'm currently the President.
I'll be happy to resign if you want the job.
Benzo wds comes in waves?
You don't say!
I've found this out the hard way myself. As a matter of fact, I'm still discovering this truth on a weekly basis.
It's not all doom and gloom, tho. I'm definitely not where I want to be, but I'm a lot further than when I started this trip ( ironically, these wds have felt a lot like a bad acid trip at times).
I just got through a pretty intense wave ( at its peak anyways) from Friday to Monday. I've since had a nice little two day window where the wds have been minimal, and I'm hoping to make it a 3rd. I got assaulted for a couple hours this morning, but symptoms have subsided in the last hour or so.
I'm coming off xanax, so my wds hit like a Mack truck day 1.
I don't know exactly how the valium wds hit per se, but I can imagine the same just taking a little longer to come on. A rough analogy would be like kicking a short-acting opioid and a long half-life one. The only caveat being you are going to get wrecked by the short-acting benzo just as bad/long( if not probably worse ) than the long half-life one.
I think the difference is going to be if you taper that long half-life benzo or not.
But I digress,
"before coming to nail you on a cross and leave you there to bake....."
yeah, definitely feeling like the benzos left me a little high and dry, myself.
If the benzos were a person they would no doubt rob you, frame it so it looks like you robbed them, and then run off with your old lady whilst you're sitting in the hoosegow getting raped by a rather large framed man.
I say good riddance, though. Even though the experience is traumatic, that's the attitude you need to take as you embark on your harrowing benzo wd journey, bongbing.
I'm not going to be that guy and tell you just need to 'be positive' ( as if that is somehow an option you just select), but not letting yourself go too deep down the rabbit hole of dispair is something you're going to have to deal with.
I'm not exactly sure what will work for you, but you'll need to find something you can at least try to focus on that isn't dark when things get more intense.
For me it was becoming side effect free from a drug that was plaguing me with constant side effects. I haven't had every side effect disappear yet, but I have lost a few, and that gives me hope others will eventually fade, too.
Goodluck to you! And just remember, suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. It might take a little time, but you will begin to heal.
p.s Get you some gabapentin or pregabalin. The gaba was a lifesaver for me when the shiznit really hit the fan. Just take it easy on them. Both can be addictive and have some nasty wds of their own.