had sex withc a chick i needed as a date for my sisters wedding so why not venture towards the back of the trailer park and get the country gal with a boys name. So we go to the wedding, dance a bit, grab some beer and go score some meth. We later take it back to the Hilton DoubleTree hotel and after doing more meth I go down on her and damn did she have a hairy bush. At that time I had one of those 'billy goat gruff' chin beards and at the rate I was eating her pussy my chin hair would keep getting tangled in her wet pussy and her pussy hair. About 30 minutes of that and her almost sufocating me by sitting on my face I pulled her off and stuck it in. Rawdogged it. Even had a box of some fancy $12 for a 4/pack of condoms. I blew what seemed like the largest load in all of mankind. Like the one Adam would have blown inside Eve when he like stuck it inside her pussy for the first time.
I had to leave that morning because who sticks around after having nasty sex like that? So I sneak off and head back to KCMO to get back to work. I work with her uncle so I didn't make it very far when she hit me with that text saying she was pregnant. So what would any normal do in this situation? Swirl a chicken-bone & get high. So after avoiding her advances of needing $ she finally had the kid, and somehow she found where I was staying (came back home for a bit).
So she showed up out of nowhere while I am geeked out of my mind to show me this fucking baby. There is no way in hell that baby looks like me. So we/my family & her family go to a ole country BBQ joint and I think before we ate, both me, along with the baby took a DNA test.
Later, I get surprised with a steak dinner by my family because the child wasn't mine lol.
So moral of the story? Fucking cut your fucking chin beard you fucking redneck.
