Men's feelings about sex workers

[Jabberwocky]

Where I’m from and being around crack and heroin for years I’ve met a few. From escorts to junkies suckin cock for a bag and what they nearly all had in common was a guy was benefiting from them doing it.
they say they’re independent but they’re not.

Certainly so in the US due to it being illegal and especially so with streetwalkers. Far less the case in Australia where it is legal and women work from their homes, in hotels, or in brothels. I’ve never in my life encountered a pimp and most of the working women I know are managed by another but much older women. There are certainly men in the industry though either as investors in brothels, security, drivers etc. And I’m sure that many women in the business have parasitic ‘boyfriends’ who live off their earnings. But that is a situation you see in other walks of life too. Amongst addicts I see more women supporting men than I do men supporting women.

I also rarely encounter full-on junky sex workers in Australia. 20 years ago there were streetwalkers who basically lived from next trick to next heroin shot and there were shady guys around then. But since de-criminalisation and the treatment of addiction as a public health issue that’s all been cleaned up. The internet helped too because women could connect with clients more easily and safely. The worst drug use I see is smoking ice and that seems mainly as a way to get through a 12 hour shift in a job you don’t like same as it is for many people on BL in other industries. I have not met an injecting sex worker for more than a decade. Although when I was an IV user none ever had a problem with me doing it in the room.

In fact given that Australia is a welfare state it is surprising the number of sex workers who do not have drug problems forcing them into that work. A woman has access to many government services before sex work is her only option to survive.

 

[Snafu in the Void]

I'll be honest it would make me hesitate a little, but not a deal breaker.

I did a lot of criminal things to support my habits. I wouldn't like being judged by a potential partner because of things I did in the past or my arrest record.

Pretty much the same thing to me.

 

[Gormur]

I just can't imagine a situation where either party would feel safe. I assume these transactions always occur where an escort meets you at your home/apartment/in a motel; a friend at uni called one to his dorm a couple times, which I thought was kind of sketchy but maybe it wasn't. I guess anything worthwhile is risky but I guess I don't see the benefit of pursuing such a meeting

There's also the issue of not knowing what the escort looks like

 

[F.U.B.A.R.]

I think there are a lot of men that get a kick out of paying for sex simply because they can afford to.

Furthermore, because they are so arrogant in their affluence, they think that paying for sex totally absolves them of their crimes of being lieing, cheating bastards...

 

[Jabberwocky]

I’d say in younger generations plenty of non-sex worker women will have fucked 20-30 guys from age 16 through to 30 something when they then want to settle down into a long term relationship. Many of those fucks might have been regrettable. Some were possibly done only to secure some advantage. In such cases the difference between the regular woman and the sex worker is one of degree and the fact that society sees the regular woman as sexually liberated while stigmatising the sex worker.

 

[Jabberwocky]

I think there are a lot of men that get a kick out of paying for sex simply because they can afford to.

Furthermore, because they are so arrogant in their affluence, they think that paying for sex totally absolves them of their crimes of being lieing, cheating bastards...

I think that is true in many cases but whoring is very much a working class pursuit too around here. The majority of clients that visit my local bordello would seem to be tradesmen in their late 20s and early 30s. I have no idea if they have partners they are cheating on. Maybe they are just lonely drug fiends too. Many would just spend $150 for their hour of happiness once a fortnight or once a month. Not particularly affluent to look at. And it is interesting to hear them leaving they are all politely thankful to their hostess and express hopes to meet again soon.

 

[finitelifeform]

I'd be concerned about her past. Even though what everybody does is by no means concrete reality and how everybody else should live, it would concern me as to why she went down those routes and what is was all about. It's not usually a route people go down when they are happy or when life is going how they planned, especially if much of what they do is to attempt to sustain their lifestyle choices. Lifestyle choices that inevitably involve drug abuse. That would concern me. Why did those lifestyle choices materialise? What choices did this person have in doing things differently and why didn't they take them? Why did things get so serious for them to sell their own body to fuel their addiction? What have they been through in life that triggered this period in their life to unfold? There is usually a history there and my knowledge of this particular path in life is that it happens when there is substantial darkness in a persons life. That darkness is also what is concerning.

On a personal level, I wouldn't want to get involved. It's not that I would demonize this person nor dehumanize them. People do extraordinary things in extraordinary circumstances and well, we all know you have to do what you can to get by. It's WHAT we do that defines us. It's WHAT WE ARE that speaks volumes about us. What would concern me is whether this person understood the choices they made and whether it's still something that forms part of your story today. Experiences like that will not just magically disappear when a lifestyle change is made. They will remain with that individual for a long time until they can integrate these past experiences and then transform them into living the best possible life they can and being the best possible self they can be.
I would seek to recognize this individual as being innately valuable and unique and worthy of acceptance. I would wish them well and really mean it. But that would be me out.

 

[OpiateKiller]

Yeah your ex sounds like a complete fucking scumbag. I'd never prostitute my girlfriend, in fact I'd punch someone in the face if they even suggested the idea to me.

I'm sorry for the trauma you've faced. Please forgive yourself. Drugs make us do stupid things. I've done things I consider far worse than selling sex in my addiction. Far worse.

It definitely is just the thought of how the person you are with and thinking of them having sex with another person is anxiety causing. I have caused difficulties in my relationship because when I've gone off to rehab and jail I've felt my girlfriend probably was fucking someone else at the time. But I almost accepted the fact because it's my fault not hers I used drugs and if the situation was flipped... would I stay loyal the whole time? I would for this girl maybe. But idk. I can't say I wouldn't want to have sex with someone...

I hope she's not, but I've reached a point I'm just going to trust her. Cause when I'm home she's mine and that's all that matters.

However, if I ever did catch her in bed with another man I'd end his life, and idk what I would do with her - probably just burn the house down

 

[OpiateKiller]

The only reason I've paid for sex before is because I wanted sex and not have to put in the effort to get it.

Sometimes a guy just wants to get laid ... Not have to sweet talk a girl, take her on dates, sometimes I just want sex.... I'm a sexual person what can I say.

And when your testosterone levels are 10x the normal amount cause your blasting roids in your ass, yeah you're gonna need someone to fuck, a lot

 

[Jabberwocky]

This is all really good to know. I haven't stripped or turned a trick in over 10 years, but to this day it's something that haunts me. And it really is mainly because I'm afraid that I will be seen as less than human.

My current dude has had problems with it since I told him, but it does seem like he's starting to let it go more and more. I will say that since he's not a junkie, by addiction has definitely been the main problem lately... not surprising really.

I totally appreciate all the feedback though, sometimes those experiences make you feel extremely alone and it means the world that people can be kind and supportive of someone else's trauma.

Yall are great.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Yeah your ex sounds like a complete fucking scumbag. I'd never prostitute my girlfriend, in fact I'd punch someone in the face if they even suggested the idea to me.

Very true. And yeah, I would think if you loved someone you wouldn't want anyone else touching them, no matter how strung out you are. I didn't want anyone touching him... he just didn't love me I think...

 

[Jabberwocky]

I'd be concerned about her past. Even though what everybody does is by no means concrete reality and how everybody else should live, it would concern me as to why she went down those routes and what is was all about. It's not usually a route people go down when they are happy or when life is going how they planned, especially if much of what they do is to attempt to sustain their lifestyle choices. Lifestyle choices that inevitably involve drug abuse. That would concern me. Why did those lifestyle choices materialise? What choices did this person have in doing things differently and why didn't they take them? Why did things get so serious for them to sell their own body to fuel their addiction? What have they been through in life that triggered this period in their life to unfold? There is usually a history there and my knowledge of this particular path in life is that it happens when there is substantial darkness in a persons life. That darkness is also what is concerning.

Couldn't that be said of the drug abuse in general? Obviously I didn't want to be strung out, and I was more or less forced into the situation. I could have left, yes. I could have told him to fuck off, I also could have never started using heroin in the first place. But once you are deep in an addiction, and living with and supporting another addict who you yourself are in love with, I feel logical choices kind of go out the window. I definitely wasn't in my right mind, and the constant push to "hustle" and make as much money as I possibly could was exhausting and wore me down a considerable amount.

Everything you're saying does sound exactly like the worries that my current boyfriend has with it. He has actually said, " why couldn't you just work a normal job or busk or fly a sign?" I didn't just wake up one day and decide to strip. And once I was stripping I didn't just wake up and decide to turn tricks.

And trust me, I still regret it. I still feel like a whore who is probably used up and not worthy of love from a wonderful man. l'm shocked my dude even stuck around after I told him. I do feel like I'm an inherently good person, and I care deeply for him and want to spend my life with him. I just don't know if as you put it my lifestyle choices, are valid and deserve to be overlooked if we are to move forward in our relationship.

What you've said is very helpful to hear because I think that's exactly where my dude's mindset it. Thank you.

 

[tubgirl.jpg]

I see it as no diff than getting a back-rub, but a front-rub.
THAT IS if the person carrying out the rub is doing it out of consent; one could then speculate where that consent sprung from.

But no. If I met a girl who had a past as prostitute, I wouldn't bother me, any more than it would bother me hooking up with a chick who's been fucking around alot.

I've fucked a girl once on the premise she paid the cabfair home, is that prostituion?

And shit girl, you're not used up or anything. I don't know you, but from what I can decipher you were knee-deep in shit and did what addiction makes must of us do; make bad choices. In the claws of addiction we all do stupid shit. Sometimes I wish I'd never hurt anyone for my fix, but I did.
Do I regret it? Yes. Do I dwell on it? No.
Remorse is an utterly useless feeling if embraced for too long.

 

[JessFR]

He has actually said, " why couldn't you just work a normal job or busk or fly a sign?"

That's the kinda thing people say when they don't understand what it's like in addiction. Let alone being a female addict.

I mean, a regular job just isn't set up to work with a heroin addiction. You need your money now. Today. Tomorrow is too far away. The way you operate with money normally (as in being payed periodically) has a way of falling apart in addition. Along with everything else.

And as for begging, guys are gonna proposition you anyway. And sooner or later you'll be in the situation where you're sick, and desperately need the extra money.

And yeah you're right. You don't think clearly when you're on heroin. And particularly when you're sick. Everything becomes about getting your next shot. Anything you fuck up or do along the way is a problem you'll figure out later. Right now you need your drug.

 

[jhjhsdi]

I had a sex worker as a customer when I was drug dealing before i went to rehab. She lived about 10 miles away and nearly every day she would ring me and ask me to come over to serve her a few g of k, or 3g, and some diazepam, occasionally 2cb or cocaine, but mainly k. She'd pay my lifts petrol and time, or pay for a return taxi (Usually around £30). She always had plenty of cash and was one of my best regulars - at least 5 days out of 7 she'd cop.

She was hot, a solid 9, brunette, pretty face, petite, fit, fake tits - 30F iirc, hot hot. Sometimes my lift would drop me off and come back for me half an hour later. So I'd sit and have a few lines with her (on me of course) and she'd give me a beer or 2 and roll a joint and we'd chat. I'd known her for years.
I had a mrs at the time but she always used to flirt with me and flash her tits and ask me to stay, lol, it was hard but I was faithful and always declined even though she got me rock hard a few times dropping to her knees and trying to pull my trousers down.

Then one day I broke up with the Mrs (unrelated to her invites).

Went over to serve her and she tried it again as I was leaving and i was like '"look you know i cant stay im with.. Oh wait... No I'm not... I'm single now, ok yeah fuck it go on then, I'll stay" had a load of drugs on me and my bag was in my mates van so went out n got it, paid him for the lift and told him i didnt want a lift back. I'd just been walking round from house to house selling for days anyway with no real place to go after breaking up with the (now ex) mrs.

So i jumped in the shower washed myself turned it off and before i was even out she was sucking me off. She was a right horny bitch and obviously a pro, we had a LOT of sex and I ended up staying with her most nights, weeks on end for about 3 or 4 months.
She was working the whole time but she had regulars (she'd been in the game quite a while so had built up a good customer base) mainly older men who would pay her a lot for outcalls so she'd shoot off for an hour or 2 come back have a bath throw money on the table towards thr drugs and we'd sniff and drink and fuck all night. It was great.

I sold a LOT of drugs from her house lol. She never asked me for money, rent, or expected free drugs for the sex. I'd be sat offering her lines and she'd be like "no, sell me a few grams" and throw cash at me, then rack up and try giving ME lines! Mad bitch.

I did end up quite liking her but it was really a sexual/drug thing. The whore and the drug dealer. Like we were both 'bad' in societys eyes and i think we liked that about each other.

Once or twice a week she'd have an in-call for an hour and a few times I sat downstairs but then we agreed that she'd do it when I had to go and reload or when I was doing a run to the city to sell a lump. I didnt mind her doing it - I'd known all about it way before we started fucking regularly so i was in no place to say anything about it even if i did mind - i just didnt want to listen to it while i sat downstairs twiddling my thumbs, killing the time weighing up grams or cooking k etc lol.

She ended up getting pregnant and saying she was falling in love with me and wanted to stop it all but i said she was being silly and we needed an abortion, we argued alot after this especially when she'd drink and she got violent with me a few times and i left her. We are still friends though and agree the abortion was the right thing to do at the time (sorry jess lol) as we were both using so heavily.

I had great times with her she was wicked fun and some of the best sex especially her deepthroat skills
I went to rehab about a month after.
I went back and saw her about a year later and we had a sniff and sex weekend but i havent seen her for a good few years now.


I also got with this other girl and was seeing her for a few months before finding out from someone else she whored herself out to about 60 blokes not long before we met and it did kinda hit me hard mainly because she hadnt told me but she got all upset and cried to me and said she wanted to tell me ages ago but didnt want to put me off cuz she started really liking me, but i said i didnt care as i liked her and told her i was no angel and id done stuff like accept an offer of a blowjob for drugs when i was selling and told her i was with the girl above and the stuff we'd done
She was nasty in the sack too lol


I dont judge them at all, i think they are clever. If i was female id do it. Id do it as a man. In fact I've been thinking about getting into it recently to support my habit and its not even one like heroin where you are sick if you dont use lol.
I've got plenty of fitties in the wank bank, I could shag any woman and replay a previous fuck (or memorable porn) in my head and get off, aslong as they didn't smell lol.

@albertosal your ex, as has been stated, is a cunt. If your new fella is still with you then i doubt he is going to leave, it just might take him a while to get over it, or get used to it, or block it out. He will find a way I'm sure.
It used to help when the 2 i did stuff with told me that even with all the sex they had no one made them cum like i did. One of them even said no one had found her g-spot before me, that made me feel good. They could well have both been lying to make me feel better but I actually dont think they had any need to.
You can tell when the sex is good when you're both cumming together, or leaving them legless, they both said most of the time the clients were nervous with small cocks and cum mega quick before the girls could even get aroused. I also didnt use protection with either of them and never caught anything because they always made clients use condoms, so our unprotected sex was way nicer for them.



Bonus note for the lads:
One time one of them puked all over my dick and balls while she was going crazy deepthroating me after we'd been drinking, me in the seated position forcing her head down, she just grabbed her t-shirt gave them a quick wipe and carried on until i came into her throat. Absolute trooper. Good thing it was a (and her) leather sofa
I might give her a call ya know its been a while

 

[JessFR]

I see it as no diff than getting a back-rub, but a front-rub.
THAT IS if the person carrying out the rub is doing it out of consent;

Well that's the big problem.

I think like a lot of people, I have no problem in principle if a woman wants to make money selling sex completely of her own free will. I don't think especially negatively of the guys that pay for it either (and pretty much the same with male prostitutes). I can't say I have a lot of respect for the idea of paying for sex, but I can't see an inherent moral problem so long as everyone's consenting.

But is consent under duress consent? I say no, it is not. A choice made under duress isn't a free choice and can't be considered free consent.

And a lot of prostitutes I think... Aren't making truly free choices.

It's a tricky issue. Cause obviously prostitution itself shouldn't be illegal. And it doesn't seem especially helpful to make the buyer side of it illegal either.

At the same time. I can't deny that I feel an intense dislike of guys seeing prostitutes.

 

[Jabberwocky]

That reminds me that one of the women I see semi-regularly and that I sometimes feel quite caring/loving/whatever about recently offered me bareback sex in the middle of session where stim dick was proving a problem.

What surprised me is that she just went to put my ungloved cock inside her without saying “this will be extra” or “just don’t cum inside me”. It seemed to be just what she wanted at the time for whatever reason.

When I asked her later about why she tried to do it all she said was “I trust you” and “we make each other happy”. I’m not entirely sure what she meant by that. However, it definitely lowered my anxiety that I was taking advantage of her in some way or that I was an easy mark being deceived.

Maybe she was just a bit crazy. However she does not touch drugs.

 

[Gormur]

Haha selling sex should be legal but would that guarantee that you'd actually get to have sex? It's always in the back of my mind that as soon as sex is offered that the girl will pull out and make an excuse or just rob you. It's fun to think about though

 

[JessFR]

Haha selling sex should be legal but would that guarantee that you'd actually get to have sex? It's always in the back of my mind that as soon as sex is offered that the girl will pull out and make an excuse or just rob you. It's fun to think about though

Not super likely.

I mean never say never, but I'd never have robbed the guys I saw. Too dangerous. It's not worth starting a potentially violent altercation. It's just not smart.

Only way I see the girl robbing you is if she's not a prostitute at all and has no intention of going through with it.

But that's really fucking stupid. If you're gonna do that there are far better targets.

So yeah, I wouldn't worry. She's a lot more justified worrying about you robbing her.

 

[Jabberwocky]

Not super likely.

I mean never say never, but I'd never have robbed the guys I saw. Too dangerous. It's not worth starting a potentially violent altercation. It's just not smart.

Only way I see the girl robbing you is if she's not a prostitute at all and has no intention of going through with it.

But that's really fucking stupid. If you're gonna do that there are far better targets.

So yeah, I wouldn't worry.

I was robbed by girls a few times in Kings Cross strip clubs years ago. I didn’t really want to have sex, I just needed help to score and have somewhere to shoot up. In those days the establishment sold coke under the table.

Once or twice the girls took my money and disappeared. When I complained to the management they just told me to fuck off, that the girls were independent contractors so no responsibility take, and I was mistaken if I thought drugs were sold on the premises.

This happened like on the 10 th visit where the first 9 had gone smoothly and got me what I wanted. In that part of the industry there was no sense of cultivating repeat business from good customers. I’m sure the girl gave the manager and the bouncers a cut of what she took from me and they all laughed about it at staff drinks after closing time.