Dontbejelousofthesun
Greenlighter
- Joined
- Nov 29, 2019
- Messages
- 8
Hi
About 4 years ago I had a drug induced experience that left me frightened of dieing. I've have anxiety and a mix of mental health problems every since. I want to share what happened to me to see if anyone could shed light on what caused this.
I was dating a guy at the time who was a heavy cannabis user. He would smoke buckets every morning. He suggested I take some before we went on a date. I foolishly agreed. He said it would make the night funny.
I took 2 buckets of weed in his bathroom and choked badly as it burnt my throat. I walked into the hallway and felt like I was in some type of horror movie. I was experiencing fear like never before in my life. The hallway looked dark and grey and stretched out. I felt like something was watching me from the other rooms as the doors were all open.
I was frozen in fear holding onto the radiator. I whispered all I could which was "I have to get out of here". He said I couldn't go anywhere in that state and got me into bed.
In bed I looked at the wall and things started to move on their own. I experienced an explosion of reality and was blasted out of my body. I was only a Soul travelling at the speed of light. It was painful. I felt my body being ripped apart. The dark sky was filled with yellow shards like stars, infinite in number. These pieces where one my body and reality. I travelled until I could see a blue light in the distance. It was a sea of energy, of unconditional love. It felt like coming home. I just got near the edge of it. It was massive. Then I returned to my body crying and screaming.
It was so frightening. My partner said I was talking about seeing a granny hang herself. I don't know what happen. When I finally was okay again I repeatedly asked him what was put in the bucket. He promised it was just weed. Exactly what he smokes. I questionEd him if it was dmt. He said no it was weed he promised.
I was left believing the pain I experienced was hatred being ripped from me. That the blue stuff was the Soul in our and the lessons I needed to learn from it where to love learn and have good intentions.
It has left me extremely messed up still. Frighten of death. I have PTSD and a horrible anxiety regarding right and wrong and religion and what should I believe about reality ect. Please if anyone could tell me what has likely happened I'd be eternally grateful.
Thank you
About 4 years ago I had a drug induced experience that left me frightened of dieing. I've have anxiety and a mix of mental health problems every since. I want to share what happened to me to see if anyone could shed light on what caused this.
I was dating a guy at the time who was a heavy cannabis user. He would smoke buckets every morning. He suggested I take some before we went on a date. I foolishly agreed. He said it would make the night funny.
I took 2 buckets of weed in his bathroom and choked badly as it burnt my throat. I walked into the hallway and felt like I was in some type of horror movie. I was experiencing fear like never before in my life. The hallway looked dark and grey and stretched out. I felt like something was watching me from the other rooms as the doors were all open.
I was frozen in fear holding onto the radiator. I whispered all I could which was "I have to get out of here". He said I couldn't go anywhere in that state and got me into bed.
In bed I looked at the wall and things started to move on their own. I experienced an explosion of reality and was blasted out of my body. I was only a Soul travelling at the speed of light. It was painful. I felt my body being ripped apart. The dark sky was filled with yellow shards like stars, infinite in number. These pieces where one my body and reality. I travelled until I could see a blue light in the distance. It was a sea of energy, of unconditional love. It felt like coming home. I just got near the edge of it. It was massive. Then I returned to my body crying and screaming.
It was so frightening. My partner said I was talking about seeing a granny hang herself. I don't know what happen. When I finally was okay again I repeatedly asked him what was put in the bucket. He promised it was just weed. Exactly what he smokes. I questionEd him if it was dmt. He said no it was weed he promised.
I was left believing the pain I experienced was hatred being ripped from me. That the blue stuff was the Soul in our and the lessons I needed to learn from it where to love learn and have good intentions.
It has left me extremely messed up still. Frighten of death. I have PTSD and a horrible anxiety regarding right and wrong and religion and what should I believe about reality ect. Please if anyone could tell me what has likely happened I'd be eternally grateful.
Thank you