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  • TDS Moderators: AlphaMethylPhenyl | Eligiu | deficiT | paranoid android

Mental Health Coming Off Invega Sustenna (Paliperidone) v.2

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@lexman53: welcome to the thread. you got hit with 2 of the 4 psych med injections that are similar in suffering but that doesn't mean you wont fully heal. we have had a few like you in the past. it's still within an average healing time for you. the anhedonia is caused by both invega and abilify. for being off both as long as you have been your chances are even better because you sound better than some of us have in the past about that time. keep coming back here and working at this every day. you will fully heal.

@Emersonny: forget about the psychiatrists for now. if they tell you this is all in your head then they are not going to be of a whole lot of help to you during this trial.

saint johns wort works for half of those who are suffering and not for the other half. please be careful when taking it cause on rare occasions there has been a nasty interaction. not trying to warn you off of it, just giving you info to be mindful of while taking it. keep posting updates while you take it, these people can help you gauge it and understand what your going through.

glad to hear your crying has started happening. weird to be thankful for something so silly but a good sign things are improving for you.

@InvegaIsMurder: intense name but accurate. that's the typical starter dose and your looking at average healing time or less. those are some good supplements to start taking, i hope you have the same success as others in the past while on them. might i suggest not cutting out the dark chocolate. the less crap in it and the more pure the better. that and dairy products i say is what helps with healing. chocolate has many beneficial effects plus it is likened to sex and has been used in combination with other substances as a way of going on esoteric voyages. seems like a good thing to be on but that's my humble opinion. you do what's best and right for you.

@Johnnyhalo: kinda but not really. no one who wasn't prediabetic before, it has happened on rare occasions but i can't verify it. it does mess with your biological levels so it's easier to get diabetes from it but until your healed it mimicks it in the way your body can't handle the intake and excretion of too many good things you need. so i wouldn't worry about it just quiet yet. eating healthy will help cut down on some healing time and ensure you wont get diabetes. think it's the poison letting your mind play tricks on itself. nothing to worry about for now.

@dellad: if i may be so forward (being a male) glad to hear getting the period back. the hygiene and routines will come now that you are starting to balance things out more. being thankful for small blessings and all that.

@Hypocondryak: what happens to the pineal gland? well, iridescentblack has a good answer. and if you don't believe him or the others in the past i can tell you it doesn't go on vacation or call it quits. if anything it is one of the aspects of this trial that gets stronger from what you go through, seems like the opposite would happen cause it would burn out but it doesn't. weird how we can't measure something but can utilize it isn't it?!

@Rosi71: hi rosi. staying off the wine? you sound a lil better than the last time we talked. i hope things are going more smoothly for you. please try to listen to that music while you sleep to induce good dreams and creativity so it can happen while your awake more often. stay strong rosi. :)

@Yeshuah: still the ever optimistic, pessimistic and realistic thorn in the side of xeplion i see. your giving as good as your getting from it. how are those ideals and philosophies coming along? any improvement on that front?

@Offvega: those tch pills are they CBD or THC? how's the job coming along?

@Johnnypupuke: because they are not listening to you. one of these days when they stumble and fall their ego and pride will take a beating. i hope your there to offer them a hand back up and show them the error of their ways. in the mean time you keep arming yourself with info on it and keep heading in the right direction healing wise so you will be ready for that day.

@Aiden21: dude, not cool man. don't be tugging on it like that, your gonna rip it off. meds have been known to make it shrivel up like jumping into a cold pool but it's not permanently shrunk. please tug on it to please yourself but not to make it longer, there are surgeries for that. glad to see your still around and doing what you can. soon buddy, soon.

@Drugs Off: still able to self pleasure? and don't worry about the drinking and/or drug use, when the receptor becomes fully healed you will be able to feel it again. i would worry about going over board at first, your tolerance will be weak and need to be exercised of sorts. so when your healed start out with a drink or two every day before you dive head first back into it so you can be safe while using. make sense?

@Specified: did you take the wellbutrin and is your libido getting better shades?



ok zack365, i'm not HateInvega, no one here is but someone should let you know. it's time!

you starting to experience the waves and windows more frequently and being more yourself, i can read it in your posts. your mood sucks and you know what? that's ok. it's your mentality and behavior trying to reset and go back to normal. ya see that's what drugs do, they take a hold of not just how your thoughts and emotions work but your mentality, the way you see things and how you deal or react to them. this is finally starting to break up for you. your going to experience some odd days where something is going to be easy to tell but not fully know why.

so it's time to start planning your days around the last of your healing time as you finish things up. go ahead and start some of the planning for when you are fully healed but more so for working around going through the last lil bit of healing. you gotta prep yourself for a couple rough patches and just getting back into the swing of things.

i got a lot of faith in you my french friend. your going to get through this. you healed in an exceptional way that is your own and different than most even though it wasn't record breaking as far as time goes. it will start working against you here though. be ready to remain more calm, still take care of yourself first and being patient because like i said in the past... i'm not healed until i'm healed; this applies to you now more than ever. your going to get ready to be fooled by the final ups and downs of this poison by leaving the long part of this trial behind you. prepping your mind for the positive to come and the negative still to go through. staying in the here and now is going to be one of the most important things for you. you will be just fine. promise.
 
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@invegauser No big improvements so far concerning philosophies and stuff. My brain is still shut down...Still feeling very helpless most of the times and sometimes very suicidal. Bedridden still, sometimes I go out for a quick walk. Anhedonia, no energy, no libido...No great improvements so far..
 
@invegauser Yeah absolutly I feel the same way. We will obviously be less in touch with people from this thread, just life because we are moving on. Yes, I feel the same perspective as you. Btw, I am about to change my account name (probably have to delete this account and create a new one) just because I dont like my real name being as public and visible as it is.
 
@invegauser: what was your average healing time or what is the average healing time? Will my sense of humor and libido come back? I'm scared
 
You can expect a full recovery if you invest your life in it. This sounds bad, but it's not so bad. A good 30 days of constantly doing something makes it a habit! Start today. If you've already stated, keep inching forward at a containable pace!
 
^ agreed. only sounds bad because of the state of the world today. if i say anything else i'm being a huge a hole. (i'm not a tough love or softie, bit of both because of the balance of life and moderation)

@Yeshuah: i know the feeling. felt scared in a way no man might ever have before, very much like how women do just leaving there front door. as far as anxiety, felling down and all the negative aspects. i know this sounds bad but i came to a point i was thankful because i knew if i could still feel all that then one day the receptor would kick back in and i would be experiencing the good aspects again. cause we can't have the bad without the good in this life or else we wouldn't exist. like those who came before us i healed and it did happen. i rode out the negative to cling to hope the positive would happen, paying ones dues just like you. it will in time, your mind and the way it works i can tell it's still in the background trying to work again, just being blocked is all. when the block leaves you will see this too.

@lexman53: the average healing time is a means of sorts we discovered here (and a couple places on the net). the manufacturers and psychiatrists will tell you about the half life. we had groups of people suffer than heal before we got enough data to determine the "average" healing time is 8-14 months with a two year cap. there are positive exceptions who heal faster and negative ones who take longer. i took the pill for two years, 11 injections and took a lil over five and a half years to heal; i am a negative exception obviously. please do not expect the same delay as me. i tried many things like AlphaMethylPhenyl is saying, he actually inspired me to keep trying when i had no results sometimes. it helped me endure until my symptom kicked in again and i was healed. doesn't mean anyone else can't make the healing better from trying.

yes, it all comes back. laughing regularly at shows and movies now, even the things i see in everyday life. libido comes back to, oi the libido is killing me in public now a days, haha; everything comes back. it's just like waking up one day after being in a nightmare and all of a sudden your wondering are you healed. you go on through your day and everything is easier, much like a window. when your healed it's like riding a bike, you never forget. hang in there.

@Josh Handel: now you know the tail end of why we say if you haven't taken the poison you don't know what it's like. even after your healed you don't feel the cloud of the poison looming over you and it's harder to relate. this is part of why people move on after healing like your saying. you sound hella better my man.

far as your user handle goes you can donate $20 to BL (which are funded off donations from people and grants) and get a gift of changing your handle to whatever you want. when you change your name your profile and posts will stay the same, you will still be on my friend list but your name will just be different. that's one reason why i have my handle; to keep my privacy and it challenged me to own it as part of my trial.

i'm glad your finally moving on. best of luck on all of your endeavors and what comes next.
 
@Josh thanks again, I'll have to use that list of supplements and drugs.

@AlphaMethylPhenyl At first it seems like a lot to devote your life to recovering; you just want it to be over and go away itself. But then it's like you've got nothing better to do.

@invegauser Thanks for your posts. Very hopeful and encouraging, especially the "like riding a bike" comment. Glad you're finally healed.

Something I've been wondering about is how it used to feel like things just stuck in my brain. Like if I read a certain style of writing for a while, I could start writing in that style myself. But now I only have my plain style of writing. I'm about two and a half months along, and I can read and enjoy TV shows, but I don't have many thoughts about those things. Words used to suck me in so much that I'd spend like 15 minutes on a single page just dissecting and analyzing it and synthesizing new ideas. I never have "lightbulb moments" anymore. I wondered if your brains come up with splendid concoctions of complex thought like they once did. Something funky might have been going on with my brain though. I liked to write in a trance. I wonder if I will ever have that trance-like creative flow again where I feel like every word I write is from the muse.
 
After years of drug use and a couple of forced Invega injections I still find it difficult to focus when I read, it?s like my vision isn?t as precise.
 
@Yeshuah Sorry to hear that you haven't had any improvements in philosophizing. I feel like it is a very complex ability, and I've been absolute shit at it even though philosophy is my major and I used to obsess over it.
 
@Emersonny I know EXACTLY what you're talking about with the style of writing and the trance-like creative state! I used to have it too. I'm also worried if this comes back again...
 
@Yeshuah and @Emersonny: I know exactly what you are talking about. I can assure you that this comes back as well. It is a slow process like every other areas but when it does come back you'll be surprised by how easily you are able to philosophize.
 
@Emersonny: yes, you will be that guy again. that song is interesting and kinda good, reminds me of some 80's music, heh heh.

what you and Yeshuah are concerned about is normal. we generally express our suffering and concerns here in the past. lately the batches seem to be more specific in this and that's not a bad thing. it applies to how this affects you on a more personal level. it shows what you are concerned about the most. i was concerned in all regards. creativity, logic, memory, physical, spiritual, emotional, etc.... all regards that make a human being what we are and who we are as individuals. all is not lost.

it all returns. i have had to learn to shake things off lately. i was a negative exception and i have a lot of atrophy in my life due to it. i didn't get to just be how i was again one day when i was healed like everyone else. the ability to do so is there, i can tell for certain reasons. but to just walk back into my life is something the rest of you have the luxury of, i have to run before i can walk again. but it is happening and every time i don't instantly walk back into my life i put effort into it and when i'm done it is just that much easier and the way it use to be again.

that's my point, you and anyone else wont have to do this, i'm a negative and isolated exception to an extreme. but... even i have everything going back to the way it was for me. i didn't heal because i wanted to. i didn't heal for others. i didn't heal so others could do it too. i did it for all of those reasons and one more; so no matter what, no matter how hard anyone might think it is, i found one of the most absolute limits and i succeeded. i don't like talking about myself but i will say this. if being this far extreme and isolated as a negative exception and i can still come back from invega/xeplion than that simply means one thing, anyone can. without a doubt. period.

reading, working on projects, listening to music, thinking and ideas. no matter what it is a person can think of that has been temporarily removed from them it will happen again. that is what the poison does by targeting that receptor. it was very irresponsible to be so careless even with the best of intentions. this is not an end. that is why we call it a trial. we accept, we endure and we succeed cause that is one of the best things about us as human beings. we do the impossible.

listening to a children talk, even the most mundane back and forth that is almost removed from memory by time is musical to ones ears and soul once you fully heal. a certain appreciation comes with it. so does a responsibility. just take it one day at a time and when your healed you will find more enjoyment in things than you use to. it's almost as overwhelming as it is relief and enjoyment.

hang in there.
 
Wow @invegauser!! You're last post is the most encouraging I have ever seen on this thread. Being so specific and able to express what you are grateful for gives me so much certainty that you really are experiencing this. That this is real. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for this. I can see my soul crying inside of me. You opened my heart and I'm not even able to feel it. But I know that it happened somehow. You're truly a sacred, carrying soul and I am so thankful to have met you. And I am so sorry what happened to you and very proud of you for what you have endured for so long. You're a true hero. A true warrior that makes this his mission to give hope to others. I know that you have a very special place in the heart of the creator. I have copied your text and saved it on my virtual notepad. PS: @Emersonny is a GIRL :D LMFAO
 
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@Yeshuah you have everyone checking for the little pig! Sadly the only curious part of today.
 
So, I'm going on a cruise starting December first. Kind of sucks that I'm going while still in the throes of invega sustenna withdrawals. My mom is a flight attendant and had some special plane tickets she needed to use before the end of the year. I live in the US. I'll be flying into Milan, Italy, and then taking a train from Milan to Genoa. If anyone wants to meet near Milan or Genoa I can try to see if I can make that work, or if someone wants to meet in one of the other cities I'm stopping in. I don't really know my way around Europe, so I don't know how realistic this is. I think it would be fun to meet some of you and see someone who has the same mental constriction that I do. We could get coffee or something. I'll try to come to you if I can. @Empty1128 is Italian, right? Also, Milan is maybe kind of near @Yeshuah in Switzerland? @Zack365 if you went to Marseille...?

Here is what my itinerary looks like:
Genoa, Italy
Civitavecchia, Italy
Palermo, Italy
Barcelona, Spain
Marseille, France
Genoa, Italy

PM me if you want to talk about details :) I like all of you
 
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