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Positive The Tapering Supportive/Social Thread

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I am sorry to hear that you are still feeling so bad Shroomy. Chronic pain, anxiety, and depression always come together and this problem is so hard to "manage". It gets to the point where you need a break once in awhile but using more medication is a temporary relief and then one has to suffer worse than before. It wears on a person. I know.

I support you in any decision you need to make.
 
Hi Xorkoth,

I've read your posts about your recent DUI, your antagonizing ex and just wanted to pop in and tell you you how strong I think you are. You're going through so much and you still have such a great attitude and great advice for others on here. I'm mostly over in SL but I love reading your posts. Just wanted you to know, these shitty things you're experiencing won't last forever.

I hope things are over with your ex soon and I am so happy to hear you have such a great counsellor.
Take care,

Here for you anytime,
Your friend,
Ash.

Xorkoth said:
You can miss the course more than twice, but after 2 no-call no-shows you have to pay $60 per miss. I contacted the counselor and he said don't worry about it at all, take care of what I need to, and he's thinking about me, basically the best reaction possible (such a nice guy), he said it won't even count as a miss. It sucks but I need to do whatever I can to get her to sign these papers. if I put her stuff on the curb I guarantee she won't sign them. Maybe she won't anyway but at least I will have tried. I really don't have the money to take her to court and she'll end up with something out of it whereas if she signs these papers, it will be far better for me, no more money spent on court, no chance of having to give anything up. She has no money for court either so she doesn't want that either.
Click to expand...
 
Hey, thanks Ashley, I appreciate it. :) This last year or so has been a real test in being able to deal with stress. It keeps getting more intense but I see a light at the end of the tunnel. I think the reason I can be strong is because I have a great support system, wonderful friends, great family, amazing girlfriend, and I do things that make me happy. So the stress sucks (a lot), but I can easily see that underneath it all, my life is good, so I don't get depressed from it, except sometimes for short periods. I feel like after this stuff with my ex and my dad and the DUI all hitting concurrently, I'll be able to handle anything.
 
Time to run a little experiment with Ibogaine. I am cannabis deprived, and in interdose benzo withdrawal. I have been laying in bed, not too physically uncomfortable, remaining motionless apart from shallow breath. Wasn't having the energy or motive to open my eyes, eyelids too heavy. Feeling pretty shit.

Just testing to see if a low dose of 20 milligrams can help with the interdose withdrawals.

edit... by the way this worked. The withdrawals did not really subside, nor did the depression. My body got energized a bit though, I was bedridden. I got outside in the sun though for a bit, cleaned the kitchen, started my laundry, and kept moving around and cleaning up. This in turn sort of settled my stomach but not really, I just dosed and it feels awful.

Going to likely have an enjoyable evening for a few hours I got pretty stoned. Going to go biking maybe but I'm weak and haven't eaten much, maybe just pedal slow.
 
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Painful One said:
I am sorry to hear that you are still feeling so bad Shroomy. Chronic pain, anxiety, and depression always come together and this problem is so hard to "manage". It gets to the point where you need a break once in awhile but using more medication is a temporary relief and then one has to suffer worse than before. It wears on a person. I know.

I support you in any decision you need to make.
Click to expand...

First was moderate depression and mild anxiety / just didn't really fit in, was awkward; then clinical depression and drug abuse. Followed by chronic pain onset, followed by panic attacks, followed by heroin and xanax habits. First addiction was weed, cause of... you know. Can't handle some emotions.

You know what I was just thinking about if I didn't hurt my back where I would be right now. The thought of it infuriates me. I was a pothead back then with a sick grow too and a great job and a girlfriend. Was on my way.

Something was never right with me though I think next time around I will do a better job. Benzo tapering is exhausting and when I get to significantly lower doses I'm taking a pause. I'm smoking one bong rip every 6 hours now. Really trying to stick to that. The combination has my stomach in knots and I guess you could sense something has been wrong lately. I've been a lot worse than normal. I've been going fucking completely crazy since I realized the summer is almost over and I was just sick. Didn't even keep up with exercise. I had a lovely spring / early summer but then everything changed... what they call PAWS comes along tearing at your face until nothing is left but scraped bone and a shorted brain.
 
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Nice job for getting up and moving around and doing some cleaning Shroomy. It helps to try and keep busy though I know you are so exhausted that doing much beyond the necessary things is very hard. I am not feeling well either. I still have six more days to go until I can get my pain medication. I am wiped out.

I cannot screw it up again. This is it. I so need the stability that not screwing it up brings. I'm trying to keep busy and not think about how long away relief is. I have to keep thinking about how my tolerance is finally getting back down and my medication will work more effectively and I can get out of this cycle.

I'm just using enough lope to take the edge off and I have been smoking some medical cannabis to control symptoms also.

Have you ever asked the dispensary people if they have a cannabis strain to help people with post withdrawal syndrome?
I bet they have something. I found the dispensary people to be very helpful.
Have you ever tried a strain called Gorilla Glue? Wow! It worked better than I had hoped for.
 
I had a scent of gorilla glue the other day and was immediately put off but it was probably a bad grow. When I go to the dispensary I inspect the weed for what looks like the best grow, that will keep me highest the longest and also a type of weed that I like. I go way more by my senses than whether it is advertised as indica, hybrid, or sativa. Those are terms from biology that have nothing to do with pharmacology and I completely disagree with classifying weed that way from users. It is mainly important for the grower and the effects of any two of say a 30/70 indica/sativa can be completely different.

Lately, I have loved King's Kush. I knew it was an OG cross right when I smoked it, maybe it was just a good grow but I loved it. Still got one more hit left. Skunk #1 is one of my favourite strains as well. Hindu Kush is a full indica from Pakistani mountains that never makes me lazy or tired and helps me with what I am assuming is adult ADHD. I am so damn picky with my weed haha.

You're not screwing up they should just fully legalize all drugs. Sorry you are feeling bad I double dosed my benzos today and I'm not abusing weed so it should be a great day, but I still need my hit of king's kush and two cups of coffee to feel half-decent. I got a great sleep. I am going to be going through a lot of negative emotions today though. I want to get my haircut to start anew. Shaving the sides of my head, crimson blood red on top and very short as well. Should be fun it's so different from now.
 
OMG Guys, all the stores are out of lope. The pharmacy said they may be restocking it on Friday but maybe not!
That is scary! I am going to get super sick without a bit of that. I'm not taking that much but still, it is enough to help a lot through this time.

What is going on? Anything that helps people with severe chronic pain and disability is getting taken away from us?
I'm going to have to commit suicide if they leave me without anyway to help myself through this.
 
Yeah a lot of stuff is messing with me too. Uranus retrograde.

Smoking a lot of king's kush (love this strain) trying to get out of interdose benzo withdrawal.

I think I'm waiting too long as I start getting too sick to process the meds properly it seems. My nerves are on fire pretty sick of this.

Yeah they banned ibogaine, kratom, and are getting rid of that now I suppose.

Getting a haircut tomorrow shaved sides very dark merlot on top should be fun. Pairs well with black hair. Have a shag at the moment and getting rid of all the bleached hair finally had to grow it out. And it will be a totally different look, opposite end of the spectrum, then I have had during these months of nonsense.

I just feel like shit I can't contribute much. Gonna smoke another bong toke and maybe this fucking pill will kick in so I can make lunch I'm starving. I have way too much irritation right now it's going to be annoying to pack a bowl to give you an idea.
 
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No kidding Shroomy. They banned kratom and ibogaine too?

Things are strange. Something has happened. They have banned Alex Jones and some of the "conspiracy" websites.
Took him right off the internet. Things seem to be getting clamped down on as if we are going under communist rule or something.
I feel like it is unsafe to even say too much.
There is a disturbance in the Force.

Sorry to hear that you are also not feeling well. It sucks.
I hope we feel better very soon.
❤️
 
Hi Painful One,

Man this is EXACTLY how I have been feeling lately!! There is a so called opiate crisis here and all the dr's are pressured to cut their pain management patients off opiate medication.

I have had fusions, still have herniated discs and have degenerative disc disease, yet I was sick of all the hassle and judgement to get my meds.

So I quit ct 2 months ago on my own, but now I'm still in pain and don't know what to do!! Ugghh, sorry, venting, I just wanted to say I relate to you totally and hope you find some lop.


HUGS,
Ash.
Painful One said:
OMG Guys, all the stores are out of lope. The pharmacy said they may be restocking it on Friday but maybe not!
That is scary! I am going to get super sick without a bit of that. I'm not taking that much but still, it is enough to help a lot through this time.

What is going on? Anything that helps people with severe chronic pain and disability is getting taken away from us?
I'm going to have to commit suicide if they leave me without anyway to help myself through this.
Click to expand...
 
Painful One said:
No kidding Shroomy. They banned kratom and ibogaine too?

Things are strange. Something has happened. They have banned Alex Jones and some of the "conspiracy" websites.
Took him right off the internet. Things seem to be getting clamped down on as if we are going under communist rule or something.
I feel like it is unsafe to even say too much.
There is a disturbance in the Force.

Sorry to hear that you are also not feeling well. It sucks.
I hope we feel better very soon.
❤️
Click to expand...

Well banning a guy who urges people to violence is, IMO, very called for and is a far cry from going under communist rule. But yeah I guess that's neither here nor there. Like Bluelight, Facebook/etc are private organizations that have the right to ban content they disagree with.

My ex and her mom never even showed today. No answers to calls and texts all day either. The most likely scenario is that they're trying to fuck with me. Either that, or something happened to them. I have shit to do starting tomorrow night, so in the morning if they don't show up I will let them know that if they don't have everything out by 5:30 I will be putting it outside and locking them out. I'm going to a music festival this weekend and my girlfriend will take the cats to her place. I'm sick of this shit, I've been bending over backwards to be nice and considerate, and they're being unbelievably rude (not just today, the whole thing is insane and so disrespectful). What sucks is that she never signed the divorce papers, she was gonna do it at the end. :\
 
Hi all,
I am looking for some advise on withdrawal.
I had been on suboxone for 10 months, with the last 2 months tapering down to .5 mg before finally jumping completely off. I utilized Kratom for about 2 weeks starting at 5g and tapering down to virtually nothing.
I had been clean for a little over 1 month, before relapsing.
For the past 12 days I have taken the following:
-Days 1-2 - 5 tramadol 50mg tabs (total 250mg at once in evening)
-Days 3-6 - 8 tramadol 50mg tabs (Totaling 400mg at once in evening)
-Days 6-12 - I have taken 25mg Oxycodone (At once in evenings)
Before relapsing, i was still having some PAWS i.e. Less than 3-4 hrs sleep per night, Anxiety, Restlessness. Nothing too severe that i couldn't handle.
I believe more or less the lack of good sleep is what drove me to take again.
What i am looking for today is some advise as to what i may be looking at for withdrawal from this last run. With total time of use being 12 days and not going over 25mg of oxy will i be restarting my withdrawal completely? Or will I just have a couple days of feeling like crap and pick up where i left off before i relapsed?
I would appreciate any and all feedback anyone might be able to offer?

(I also have Lots of Lyrica 50mg pills, if this may help any at all?)
-Thanks in advanced
 
Xorkoth said:
Well banning a guy who urges people to violence is, IMO, very called for and is a far cry from going under communist rule. But yeah I guess that's neither here nor there. Like Bluelight, Facebook/etc are private organizations that have the right to ban content they disagree with.

My ex and her mom never even showed today. No answers to calls and texts all day either. The most likely scenario is that they're trying to fuck with me. Either that, or something happened to them. I have shit to do starting tomorrow night, so in the morning if they don't show up I will let them know that if they don't have everything out by 5:30 I will be putting it outside and locking them out. I'm going to a music festival this weekend and my girlfriend will take the cats to her place. I'm sick of this shit, I've been bending over backwards to be nice and considerate, and they're being unbelievably rude (not just today, the whole thing is insane and so disrespectful). What sucks is that she never signed the divorce papers, she was gonna do it at the end. :\
Click to expand...

Sounds like you were probably with her while you were using dude.
 
Painful One said:
No kidding Shroomy. They banned kratom and ibogaine too?

Things are strange. Something has happened. They have banned Alex Jones and some of the "conspiracy" websites.
Took him right off the internet. Things seem to be getting clamped down on as if we are going under communist rule or something.
I feel like it is unsafe to even say too much.
There is a disturbance in the Force.

Sorry to hear that you are also not feeling well. It sucks.
I hope we feel better very soon.
❤️
Click to expand...

Yep, just trying to focus on my own recovery. I did yoga today it was nice. I was at the front canyways a cute girl was beside me between two pillars I could sense she liked me. Cause I was in a slightly more advanced pose and woke up with her beside me. At one point we locked eyes for a moment it was strange. Was odd like a synchronicity. I had to run after class. Cause normally you practice with your eyes closed and are in the same direction was odd. Those classes are black magic though. Witchcraft. That is the extent of my romantic life, lol. Allso there were candles around and it was a really sweet calls totally loosened my body up and my favourite part is I can seriously take double sized bong tokes after a yoga sesh. I can hit .3 all at once and do that 3 times lol plus I got the endorphins going and THC uptake efficiency is increased by like 25% after exercise (smoke weed after a brisk walk or something painful one, you'll get more THC for the same amount of weed from the exact same toke). And plus I'm real relaxed from the yoga so it combines and I get the best stones then. Those heavy tokes hit hard I normally can't smoke weed like that but it's from I believe mainly the breathing technique.
 
Xorkoth- I know I got a little angry with my last bit of advice. But I called it. She had no plans for signing those papers and leaving you alone.

Get ready for a battle. She is mad and not ready to let go. Your best bet is to stop engaging her, get an attorney, and get your home in your name ASAP. And whatever you do, do not allow your girlfriend and your ex to be in the same room. She is searching for a reason to fight.
 
Loperamide has saved my ass a couple of months now. Basically 90 percent of my withdrawls gone before they would have started, from around 180mg/day oxy.

I have bought a LOT of lope.

The FDA is scaring retailers and a lot of pharmacies are trying to pretend that they never sold large bottles of Loperamide to addicts before new legislation would take affect in 2019. In the next couple of months it will get a lot harder to buy more than about 24 pills in one package. The days of WalMart selling 400 count lope are gone forever. And the price for Kirkland lope has gone up 10x on EBay.
 
I have had a good day. Been feeling down and I had the idea to completely change my hairstyle and it worked out really great. Got some extra weed too. I don't think I'll get much done but that was one serious haircut. Makes me happy I really like how she went with my idea. It's clearly really well done. Pretty bored at the moment, gonna get real stoned. Lazy day. I was busy in the morning though and I went to bed at like 2:30am last night leaving the oven on 400F after bonging a gram in three tokes. Woke up at 6am. It's like this every day I don't really sleep. Sometimes it is in the afternoon. Sometimes I almost feel narcoleptic like I'll randomly pass out and other times like even after a physically exhausting work shift last night I couldn't sleep for hours. My back is in turn hurting more today and so is my neck a bit. Sleep is so important for my mind to function well.
 
Squeaky said:
Xorkoth- I know I got a little angry with my last bit of advice. But I called it. She had no plans for signing those papers and leaving you alone.

Get ready for a battle. She is mad and not ready to let go. Your best bet is to stop engaging her, get an attorney, and get your home in your name ASAP. And whatever you do, do not allow your girlfriend and your ex to be in the same room. She is searching for a reason to fight.
Click to expand...

I am really pushing to get my home exclusively in my name but it requires her voluntarily signing her name away so not sure what to do. I have an attorney, and she's being served on Monday, the divorce is already filed in my state which is good.
 
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