Hi there,
I'm male, 29. I live in Brazil and high quality MD and MDMA can be easily found around here.
I'm a former MD / Marijuana / LSD user. I really enjoyed these drugs because they gave me insights about life and really made my time around people more enjoyable.
All this "enjoyment" made me abuse the aforementioned drugs until eventually I've dropped 0.7g of MDMA in a party, smoking marijuana and taking some L. I got in what it was the worst downward spiral of my life. I already had tolerance built up, the drug wasn't being effective as it used to be before and then I thought it would be fine to use "a bit" more
Crazy stuff to do, I know, but like mostly of the people here I had no idea how destructive this drug could be. You know, shoot first ask questions later? Never did deep research about the precautions I had to take.
I'm not going into deep details on what symptoms I got. I'll just write a brief summary: Strong DP/DR, memory issues, depression, strong anxiety, foggy vision, panic attacks (albeit not frequently). Tried suicide 3x by hanging and the last time I got saved by my ex-mother-in-law.
Scary enough? I thought I was really messed up for ever.
I was a roamer in this forum, every day looking for answers and thinking that "...not everyone is getting better from this. I'm fucked up. I'm so going to hell for what I've done to myself. WTF have I done with my life? I'll never be the same again. I'll never be able to work again, to study again, to find the woman of my life. What's the point of being alive?"
GUYS - I'VE BEEN THERE! TRUST ME THERE IS A WAY OUT!
There's a guy here, his username name is Cotcha. He is always giving advice to those in need but not everyone here listens or give a shit. What I did in the essence is truly what he did to get out of this and *most of you* here didn't find the strength yet to do:
STEP 0 - QUIT ALL DRUGS! This is really important, because if you don't quit drugs, including cigarettes and alchohol, even if it's in a pinch, you won't be making good progress. Quit caffeine too. It holds back neurogenesis.
1 - EXERCISE EVERY DAY
2 - DO MINDFULLNESS MEDIDATION.
3 - EAT CLEAN
4 - READ, STIMULATE YOUR BRAIN
5 - GO OUT AND SOCIALIZE WITH CLEAN PEOPLE
6 - Now this one comes from me: FORGET YOUR DRUG FRIENDS! Your drug friends will drag you down by the heels.
There is really some scientific background to back up these recommendations (not item 6, this one is common sense). We've messed up our serotonin sites - but they can be somehow "rebuilt" (or new neurons can be formed to accomplish the same tasks the old ones used to, this is our brain's compensation mechanism).
I was feeling like SHIT for 9 months, and after my last suicide attempt I thought I couldn't do anything better than push it forward. Then... I decided I had to follow Cotcha's protocol to see where it would lead me. After 2 months following the protocol, in exactly 60 days, I started seeying improvements. Wanna know about why each of these really bring our brains benefits, please do some research.
Decided to push a little further and bought a mountain bike. Started to bike hard 2x per week alongside my cardiovascular exercise (40 min per day). I did mindfullness every day when waking up and before going to bed, just for some minutes. Started to do crossfit exercises. My self steem was returning and I even downloaded Tinder to see what I could get out of it, even though my talking abilities were affected (but returning).
There were days where I was feeling worse than other days, but overall I was making progress. Eventually I noticed I was not taking steps backwards anymore. Only steps FORWARD. I was really making progress.
The DP/DR was going off... The depression was almost gone, I could see the sun shine and really appreciate it. I could breath in and out deeply and feel grateful for existing. I started to be able to love my family again.
Some months went by and I've gotten 90% back. 90% is too much for a few months, you know? Today I made some more progress and I'm feeling 91%. Enough better so I could be writing all of this for you.
Don't lose faith. Follow the protocol. Pray, if you have faith. God also helped me a lot through this and I owe him my profound appreciation. Ask him to heal you - and he will. He loves you. Prayer was also essential for me (for me, I'm telling about myself).
I'm gonna drop my number here so you can reach me on Whats App if you need support. If I could only have someone to hear me and tap my shoulders telling I would be fine, I probably wouldn't have attempted suicide.
So please, talk to me.
Hit me up it will be a pleasure to hear you and give details about each of the above items from 0 ~ 6.
About Antidepressants and Benzodiazepines:
I can't opine about them. All I can say is that they tried to put me in SSRIs and anti-psychotics to keep me from killing myself and I dropped off after 15 days afraid to get too dependent. Ask Cotcha if he chimes in, he'll be able to give a more unbiased opinion.
Additional info:
If you really wanna try some supplements to get better, I'm gonna recommend you a few that I used *once I started feeling a bit better*. If you wanna get 100% just for your concern >supplements are 5%<. There's no magic pill that will bring you back. The magic comes from exercising, mindfullness medidation, proper socialization and a clean diet.
- Huperzine Extract - 200mcgs daily (stimulate neurogenesis)
- Alpha Lipoic Acid - 250 mgs daily on empty stomach (stimulate neurogenesis and is a powerful antioxidant that prevents nerve breakdown)
- Fish oil - 2~3 grams daily
- Vitamin B3 - 500mgs daily (powerful neurogenic, nootropic alledgedly can repair DNA damage)
- Creatine 3g daily (stimulates mithocondria function in the brain cells)
- Polivitamin (to support your overall metabolism)
Just remember these are only >>>supplements<<< which are something that comes in handy to fill a tiny gap that the huge blocks named EXERCISE, MINDFULLNESS and MEDIDATION couldn't fill before, you know, because they are so huge.
Cheers, now go get better, you beautiful motherfucker.
I'm male, 29. I live in Brazil and high quality MD and MDMA can be easily found around here.
I'm a former MD / Marijuana / LSD user. I really enjoyed these drugs because they gave me insights about life and really made my time around people more enjoyable.
All this "enjoyment" made me abuse the aforementioned drugs until eventually I've dropped 0.7g of MDMA in a party, smoking marijuana and taking some L. I got in what it was the worst downward spiral of my life. I already had tolerance built up, the drug wasn't being effective as it used to be before and then I thought it would be fine to use "a bit" more
Crazy stuff to do, I know, but like mostly of the people here I had no idea how destructive this drug could be. You know, shoot first ask questions later? Never did deep research about the precautions I had to take.
I'm not going into deep details on what symptoms I got. I'll just write a brief summary: Strong DP/DR, memory issues, depression, strong anxiety, foggy vision, panic attacks (albeit not frequently). Tried suicide 3x by hanging and the last time I got saved by my ex-mother-in-law.
Scary enough? I thought I was really messed up for ever.
I was a roamer in this forum, every day looking for answers and thinking that "...not everyone is getting better from this. I'm fucked up. I'm so going to hell for what I've done to myself. WTF have I done with my life? I'll never be the same again. I'll never be able to work again, to study again, to find the woman of my life. What's the point of being alive?"
GUYS - I'VE BEEN THERE! TRUST ME THERE IS A WAY OUT!
There's a guy here, his username name is Cotcha. He is always giving advice to those in need but not everyone here listens or give a shit. What I did in the essence is truly what he did to get out of this and *most of you* here didn't find the strength yet to do:
STEP 0 - QUIT ALL DRUGS! This is really important, because if you don't quit drugs, including cigarettes and alchohol, even if it's in a pinch, you won't be making good progress. Quit caffeine too. It holds back neurogenesis.
1 - EXERCISE EVERY DAY
2 - DO MINDFULLNESS MEDIDATION.
3 - EAT CLEAN
4 - READ, STIMULATE YOUR BRAIN
5 - GO OUT AND SOCIALIZE WITH CLEAN PEOPLE
6 - Now this one comes from me: FORGET YOUR DRUG FRIENDS! Your drug friends will drag you down by the heels.
There is really some scientific background to back up these recommendations (not item 6, this one is common sense). We've messed up our serotonin sites - but they can be somehow "rebuilt" (or new neurons can be formed to accomplish the same tasks the old ones used to, this is our brain's compensation mechanism).
I was feeling like SHIT for 9 months, and after my last suicide attempt I thought I couldn't do anything better than push it forward. Then... I decided I had to follow Cotcha's protocol to see where it would lead me. After 2 months following the protocol, in exactly 60 days, I started seeying improvements. Wanna know about why each of these really bring our brains benefits, please do some research.
Decided to push a little further and bought a mountain bike. Started to bike hard 2x per week alongside my cardiovascular exercise (40 min per day). I did mindfullness every day when waking up and before going to bed, just for some minutes. Started to do crossfit exercises. My self steem was returning and I even downloaded Tinder to see what I could get out of it, even though my talking abilities were affected (but returning).
There were days where I was feeling worse than other days, but overall I was making progress. Eventually I noticed I was not taking steps backwards anymore. Only steps FORWARD. I was really making progress.
The DP/DR was going off... The depression was almost gone, I could see the sun shine and really appreciate it. I could breath in and out deeply and feel grateful for existing. I started to be able to love my family again.
Some months went by and I've gotten 90% back. 90% is too much for a few months, you know? Today I made some more progress and I'm feeling 91%. Enough better so I could be writing all of this for you.
Don't lose faith. Follow the protocol. Pray, if you have faith. God also helped me a lot through this and I owe him my profound appreciation. Ask him to heal you - and he will. He loves you. Prayer was also essential for me (for me, I'm telling about myself).
I'm gonna drop my number here so you can reach me on Whats App if you need support. If I could only have someone to hear me and tap my shoulders telling I would be fine, I probably wouldn't have attempted suicide.
So please, talk to me.
Hit me up it will be a pleasure to hear you and give details about each of the above items from 0 ~ 6.
About Antidepressants and Benzodiazepines:
I can't opine about them. All I can say is that they tried to put me in SSRIs and anti-psychotics to keep me from killing myself and I dropped off after 15 days afraid to get too dependent. Ask Cotcha if he chimes in, he'll be able to give a more unbiased opinion.
Additional info:
If you really wanna try some supplements to get better, I'm gonna recommend you a few that I used *once I started feeling a bit better*. If you wanna get 100% just for your concern >supplements are 5%<. There's no magic pill that will bring you back. The magic comes from exercising, mindfullness medidation, proper socialization and a clean diet.
- Huperzine Extract - 200mcgs daily (stimulate neurogenesis)
- Alpha Lipoic Acid - 250 mgs daily on empty stomach (stimulate neurogenesis and is a powerful antioxidant that prevents nerve breakdown)
- Fish oil - 2~3 grams daily
- Vitamin B3 - 500mgs daily (powerful neurogenic, nootropic alledgedly can repair DNA damage)
- Creatine 3g daily (stimulates mithocondria function in the brain cells)
- Polivitamin (to support your overall metabolism)
Just remember these are only >>>supplements<<< which are something that comes in handy to fill a tiny gap that the huge blocks named EXERCISE, MINDFULLNESS and MEDIDATION couldn't fill before, you know, because they are so huge.
Cheers, now go get better, you beautiful motherfucker.
Last edited by a moderator: