I've been scripted benzos for sleep (temazepam, triazolam) and for tapers (diazepam, clonazolam) and went through a phase of 'lself-medicating' or recklessly using a range of RC benzos (phenazepam, clonazolam, flubromazolam, etizolam etc) and in my opinion, they're really not worth it.
I got rebound anxiety from some of my earlier RC benzo experiences - anxiety far more acute and intense than the anxiety i was using benzos to deal with in the first place.
Also, for sleep, they're only effective in the short term. Eventually tolerance builds and they do nothing.
They absolutely ravaged my memory - there are great chunks of my life i literally cannot remember. I found photos on my phone at one point of events i have no memory of. Pictures of a workmate's baby that i have no recollection of meeting.
Fucking disturbing..
This. So much this^
My mental health problem is this: Phobia of not being able to sleep = self-fulfilling prophecy = a few days on 3 hours of sleep makes me feel like I am losing my mind and I get severely depressed, which makes anxiety worse, which makes insomnia even worse. And it's a downward spiral from there.
I self-medicated with the RC Benzos before the blanket ban took effect here. Etizolam, flubromazolam etc and finally it was Clonazolam that got me completely hooked. Thought I could get away tapering with diclazepam myself but it didn't work and ended up me going into a rage and smashing my room up after I got into an argument.
Then I went to the doctor the next day and admitted I had a problem.
That was over a year ago, and i've been trying to get off diazepam ever since. I got down to 2mg at more than one point, but relapsed, and then got into hard opiates. So ended up with a dual opiate-benzo addiction.
The hard opiates were a walk in the park compared to diazepam. 5 days of misery and flu and it's pretty much over (unless you get PAWS, but still...It's infinitely easier than benzos) with opiates. Not so with benzos. I am now happy to say I am down to 9mg reducing 1mg a week, but it's actually caused (or bought out) anxiety and depression, and my insomnia came back with an absolute vengeance: There were times I thought I was going insane from sleep deprivation and in the end just asked for Amiltriptyline which has worked wonders for my insomnia, the shakes, the upset stomach that occur with benzo WDs. Also has helped with the aches and pains. I think it's mentioned in the Ashton Manual to relieve many of the symptoms of benzo withdrawals.
Of course I will need to taper that too, but with only 2 months left in my diazepam taper I can probably get away with a faster taper, and it's nowhere near as bad as benzo WDs. No grand mal seizures for a start.
If you are going to delve into benzos, then ask for a restricted prescription where you can only pick up x2 doses per week. Anymore and you most likely will get addicted due to the tolerance issues and rebound symptoms you get when you stop them. Honestly, benzos actually cause far more problems than they solve in the long-term (after 2 weeks of consistently taking).
Really try out taking therapies, CBT, exercise, tweaking your diet, meditation etc. If you have really tried all that then yes, it's time to try meds IMO. But i'd actually go for an old-skool anti-depressant that is sedating, over benzos any day. APs are technically addictive in that you have to taper them, but it's not as bad as benzos. Of course YMMV big time. I had a terrible action to Mirtazapine that supposedly is the latest SRNI on the market with the least side effects, it did nothing for my insomnia after 3 weeks and just made me feel suicidal. So it's funny that an anti-depressant that was developed in 1961 works infinitely better for me lol
Plus with benzos I have also noticed my memory is absolutely fudged and I look back at photos from 3 months ago and can't remember them ever been taking. It's really disturbing.
F'loki