I can speak fine. Just having bad anxiety and in turn not really sleeping or eating too well
It's the worst isn't it? You only have to check my journal over the darkside to see what anxiety, depression and chronic debilitating insomnia have done to my life (polydrug abuse for 15 years, self-medicating)...Now i've been tapering valium for over a year - got on the opiates for a while big time too. The benzo withdrawals are the worst thing ever. I laugh at heroin withdrawals in comparison: They are childsplay.
I would not go down the road of benzos or z-drugs: I thought I was in control for so long (and I was) but they eventually took over.
I wish I had gotten help for my insomnia and mental health problems 10 years ago: But truth is I was scared to ask for help. But counselling is great once you get used to it after the first session or two, CBT can be useful, mindfulness meditation can really help with those waves of stomach churning anxiety and depression, to an extent. But everyone responds differently.
I would take sedating anti-depressants such as Amitriptylne - which I got prescribed yesterday and it worked instantly I got 8 hours sleep for the first time since I can remember last night - over benzos or z-drugs anyday.
SSRIs made me suicidal and did absolutely nothing for else for me. Amitriptyline though is an old-skool anti-depressant called a Tricyclic anti-depressant: Completely different and superior effect IMO.
If you want to go the benzo route I suggest you go to a doctor and say you only want x2 doses a week on a restricted release prescription. I'm sure the doctor will admire your responsibility for asking to do that and agree. This is absolutely how all benzos should be prescribed IMO. The ONLY way they should.
Then i'd just look into the talking therapies I mentioned; They can really get to the bottom of the root causes of your anxiety and/or depression and make you understand and build coping mechanisms that will be great skills for life.
Then of course exercise, diet and good sleep hygiene are very important (though I used to hate being told to get exercise when I was sleeping 1 hour a night and just lying in bed all day crying and feeling utterly miserable lol But it really works when you start forcing yourself to go out, even if its just for 10 minutes).
Good to luck to you whatever you decide anyway. Just watch that benzo use very carefully.
F'loki