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I love the drug, but $150 for a gram of powder? WTF? I'm not Donald trump....and I'm not doing fentanyl.

I've moved this to the social thread. As a reminder, price discussions are not allowed. It's fine to say x drug is too expensive, but no discussing specific prices.
 
My MDMA experience was priceless.

Although, three days later I'm not quite back to normal. I actually left my body and experienced what I'd say was astral projection for the first time. It was insane and I'll never be the same. I spent 4 hours in such heated intellectual discourse that I swear the gods got involved.

Then it was straight to heroin withdrawal for 3 days on top of the E recovery. Sheer hell.

I'm still not right... hope I didn't finally fry myself for good. I'm having a lot of trouble eating still, even though I have some oxy's. Totally sucks and I really need a job, I can't be fucking around like this even I did have a profound experience. And hadn't used M in a year and a half. It was amazing though, truly phenomenal.

My eyes wiggled for around 8 hours to the extent that I couldn't read or see what was in front of me. And like... constantly wiggling too. It was the hardest roll I've ever experienced. 100mg with 50mg booster 1.5 hours in.
 
Damn. Reminds me of my last kick...
Went 4 days cold off of heroin/Xanax kick. Didn't sleep for 6 nights due to WD and went into complete psychosis. My old work, the police, Safeway (????), and Homeland Security were after me, I kept hearing them but could not locate them... they'd always turn the corner just as I approached so I'd never see them. I was racking my head.. WTF? I have years experience with LSD, but thats a completely different ballgame than psychosis.
Watched rerun after rerun of Columbo, and a couple episodes got "out there"... one with Rocardo Montulbon where he played a bull fighter and he was talking in tonges and backwards and shit, and another with a character called the "great Santini" and he was hiding behind time and time would eat away reality and I started thinking "fuck, these episodes are getting heady, Im gonna start hallucinating soon and I don't want this shit in my head". I had already started hallucinating is what I didnt know. Sure enough tho, fricking Columbo was in all my hallucinations after that. He was in a frickin Mariachi line at the airport FFS.

I had a very "intellectual" conversation with my cousin on the phone for hours about 3 days in, is what reminded me of your story.
Got into a rehab facility and they dosed me with Subs. I didn't get my head right again for 2 months. The first 2 weeks are a complete blur.
Lesson learned - detoxing can be very dangerous if not done right.
 
I'm scared that I can't quit. I just had a conversation with my brother about William Burroughs (he brought him up). I went and grabbed Naked Lunch offf my shelf and he was like shit I was about to buy this! So now he's reading it. Well, we talked a lot, but he told me Burroughs made him realize how fucked up opioids are. And here I am a heroin and oxy addict. It's fucking horrible... it's like I wanted to scream at him I'm on that shit now, look at me you don't even see.

I've hid it for 5 years. I can't take it anymore, the physical withdrawal is way too hardcore. Something needs to be done, I am losing my life. However, I am a functional addict and so long as I have it, everything is right in the world. That makes it so fucking hard to stop. Man oh man though talking to my little bro and thinking like what he would think of me if he knew. Fucked my head up. I forced myself to do some yoga today and eat a decent amount of food and a feel better, but I'm still abusing oxy's. I don't want to stop. I just want him to understand where I'm coming from. My chronic pain is so bad I can't get out of bed without them.

It's just complicated, I really have a lot of problems. Thanks for sharing... our conversation was completely off the wall. Borderline psychotic... I'm chuckling to myself about what I can remember from it. I seriously hope I didn't fry my head because I kinda need my brain... but the high was so intense and so strong, I really wouldn't doubt it. I gotta spend as much time as I can with my bro and I want to let him know. I'm going to let him know. I can't keep secrets anymore and he's chill, he's my best friend, he wouldn't tell anyone and shame me for railing heroin. If anything, he would understand how normal addicts can be. It makes me sad though.
 
^I'm the same way, I feel like the situation of my use makes quitting practically impossible, if I ever even wanted to. I would still end up taking loperamide every day forever. Just manages so many things so well--GI, anxiety...

I love the drug, but $150 for a gram of powder? WTF? I'm not Donald trump....and I'm not doing fentanyl.

Eh, depends on how much you use. I use the same number of milligrams of heroin I do vs. oxycodone, so it's like 75% cheaper. It's still basically pain management for me though, so that helps (if I dose too high my stomach immediately makes me regret it).
 
I see so many similarities here... I did the same thing and told my brother. I don't know how yours would react, but mine immediately told my family when I specifically asked him not to. It worked, but I am still dealing with the repercussions of that. I'm an adult, I can do rehab and meetings without mommy, I did NOT need my family to know. But mine are fucked up selfish assholes, however we have the same disease so I imagine yours might be too... just think that through and be prepared for your brother to want the help of more people, even against your wishes. But don't be alone in this, that is HELL. Just be prepared his reaction might have brash results.
 
I see so many similarities too. My family is fucked. Like, they would FREAK if they knew. That's really why I don't use needles I feel like they'd eventually see one and know right away. So I rail very pure #4 still after so many years, and just spend more money on it (sucks). My little bro is 19 and really chill, but he knows opioids are fucked. I want him to know, but it's a risk. He could let it slip. I could just tell him I'm hooked on the oxy's I'm prescribed that everyone knows I take... I think that's a better idea.

I'm an adult too. If anyone found out, it would cause so many problems I might just end my life. Seriously. I'm not going to rehab I'm not a child if I want to quit I will kick at home. But, I don't want to quit. Like, I can't even fucking walk I hurt my back so bad and I'm not even thirty. Fucking facet joint bullshit and the pain is relentless, chronic, and extreme. Heroin treats my excruciating chronic back pain to the point that I forget I even have it (to the point that I'm a jacked 200lb yogi again and still going strong... I'd be 130-150lb over 6ft if it wasn't for heroin). It's actually healthy for me. I have no stress apart from very rare withdrawal. It doesn't numb my emotions like benzos do, I still have feelings. I'll still cry if my girlfriends runs away. I'm still fucking human, and my family would treat me like disgusting scum of the earth (they did even about my chronic weed smoking and here we are legalizing it). It treats my borderline personality disorder completely (I will NEVER cut myself or shit like that when I'm on H, or hurt others like I do when I'm off it). I also have a severe panic disorder... and it helps me cut my benzo intake in half (and those are way the fuck worse). 5 years in, I haven't touched a needle. I've had needles on hand for 6 months. 27G 5/8"tip 20 of them. I always, always choose withdrawal instead and I sniff raw #4 that is seriously fucking amazing quality. The consistency of product has been exactly the same for a year. I have never once come close to overdosing.

I don't need people to know. It literally treats everything that's wrong with me. And I was FUCKED in the head before I even started taking percocets. Honestly, I'm not down for the lifelong battle when I don't even consider it getting high. I consider it a stronger and more efficient form of the medication I am already prescribed, in which case there has not be a SINGLE tolerance adjustment in 5 fucking years. So what do you think I'm going to day. Pay $$$ for street oxy's someone diverts for free? Fuck that shit. If they are gonna fuck me around and script a 5 year pain patient 30mg oxy a day thats fucking tamper proofed like I'm some child, I'm gonna rail heroin all day and show them who's in charge.

If they just gave me the fucking 40's or 80's with some 20mg ir, this never would have happened. Fuck the hysteria. Eventually people will realize that 95%+ of the deaths are due to prohibition, and it does no more harm to society than alcohol or cigarettes and less harm to the user so long as they are not in and out of withdrawal.

Like seriously... 200lb yogi on heroin vs 130lb skinrat when my initial injury was gym related as I was a fucking exercise maniac? I'm keeping on it. I used to run 10km 3x weekly, daily yoga, and gym 10 hrs a week. Plus cycling and swimming. The least I'm going to do is keep up with yoga and I'm doing really well. I can only do it on heroin. The oxy I get is impractical, full of disgusting APAP that will fuck me long term worse than anything since I take 3 percs at a time, and it's not worth shit anymore.

I will never buy in bulk again though, because I overused it hardcore recently. Got a half ounce, overdid it, went through three days of torture. I'm sticking to half grams because I can make them last at least a week, more like 10 days or even 14 if I supplement with oxy. I really, seriously think heroin should be legal. It is my drug of choice, I can only ever function on it, and what's it to anyone else? If I need a chemical in my brain to function because I'm fucking miserable misanthrope? I don't like the modern day world. I am a traditional man and I will stand up for my right to use diacetylmorphine. I don't give a fuck how many people tell me to get clean, if I've been using for 5 years and nobody has noticed a thing, then what does that say? Then they freak if they found out... it's just idiotic. Like nothing has changed except that they know. I'm gonna tell my little bro about how hooked I am on my oxy's because honestly, I was just telling him about my MDMA trip today (and he was laughing, he doesn't care, but he wouldn't use drugs after he saw how my family freaked out at me and kicked me onto the street at 20 over WEED. I can't live there any more and I see my little bro once a week. We are both musicians and should be playing daily together, but I'm the black sheep of the family because I smoked weed. I also am by far the most successful academically having an advanced engineering degree (not that I've done too much with it, I need to get my shit together, but before I could do that, I had to realize I needed heroin in my life. I didn't take that decision lightly...)

And i don't really get people who 'nod' on heroin... I get energized? Weird eh? Maybe my doses are just low... I rail 40mg at a time and have a pretty high tolerance. I never get drowsy like ever, sometimes I have those waking morphine dreams but that's just being more in touch with my subconscious. I never, ever appear wasted in any way. I don't get people who slip into the abyss and nod out, I've seen it on camera but that's just not me. I run around at maximum energy and become very productive and happy... but in withdrawal I can't get out of bed and the pain is extreme beyond words. I do get the super relaxed chilled out kurt cobain voice, but that's just because heroin makes me more chill. Nobody would even mistake me as a stoner, well maybe because of how I dress. But I don't smoke weed nor do I like it.

I also haven't had a good lay in a couple years... it SUCKS. That is going to change, absolutely, I've just been isolated but without heroin or at least oxy that really really gets to me and makes me constantly mopey and miserable. Now how is that going to help anything but I can't stop it. There's just too much going on right now for me to try quitting. When I'm on H I have no problem talking to any women and being friendly and chill. Why the fuck would I stop using it after all this.
 
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What do you guys have planned for the weekend? I've got nothing at all going on. I might work on my lab stuff, do some reading, and take some fun drugs :)

I just took one 5mg Ambien and have a nice buzz. Debating whether I should take another, smoke instead, or do both :D
 
I'm hoping to hear back from a job tomorrow then I can kick back and celebrate. If not... I'll be upset and take some more speed and keep applying. Get my dope fix on Monday but it won't feel as rewarding. I'll still feel trapped in social isolation. I did everything in my power to get this part time job so I'll be pretty let down.

I'm going to finish reading Carrie too. Just went to the mall and stocked up on some premium white tea to go with my dope.
 
Going to Vegas in a little over a week with a group of friends so I'm going to shop around for reasonable Full Auto gun ranges out there and make some reservations. I'd like to get some Mortars in Pahrump on the way home for the 4th of July also but I need to get a consensus from the friends I'm going with first as the CHP started setting up check points just outside of town. Maybe the girls going with us can bring some huge purses for smuggling.
As for tonight I think a restoril with a side of xanax is in order as these somas aren't quite doing the trick.
 
Trying out my first CWE right now!!! I think I've done everything right. Actually, I have failed several time and given up, but I refuse to take so many percs anymore when I need higher doses.

So, I am doing it with ten 5/325's in 1/3 cup water. There should still be like a gram of APAP likely but whatever. I took 4 lengths of paper towel, folded it over 4 times and soaked under tap water for like a minute to saturate with water. Then, I attached with a rubber band to one of my two cylindrical cups that hold about, well a up of water maybe a bit less. They are small. Made an indentation but next time, it will have to be around twice as deep.

I hope it works. 50mg IR oxy or close to it would be niiiiiiice right now after trying to fuck with the stupid tamper proof gel formula bullshit and getting nowhere while being used to good H which I'm presently out of. So I'm about to take it out of the freezer and filter. I'm gonna leave for like 30 min to make sure everything gets through. I'm sure there's some sort of loss but I mean, what the fuck am I prescribed something containing paracetamol long term to begin with? We have IR 20's here with no APAP at all. It's stupid as fuck and just another way that doctors have fucked me over.

I am spilling a tiny bit as I pour. Annoying. Not much. Whatever. Better to get high this way if it's possible. If I don't feel anything though I'll be a little pissed... I used 1/3 cup water instead of 1/4 cup (which I was told would be enough) just to try and minimize loss.

So I can see these little APAP crystals in the water cup (I think that's what they are anyway, before being filtered this is) - that's pretty neat! Yeah! GTFO!!! And I can see them covering them top of the filter too... plus it's like 16 layers of paper towel. The big question: will I get high today, or waste a bunch of pills?

So halfway through, my filter got clogged and the solution was just sitting on top. I did 5 pills instead of 10 for a second attempt, and replaced the filter halfway through after flushing it with a little extra water. It should work out a lot better although I'm definitely feeling a slight high from the first CWE. This is the way to go for sure with these fucking percs, until I can get my dope.
 
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What do you guys have planned for the weekend? I've got nothing at all going on. I might work on my lab stuff, do some reading, and take some fun drugs :)

I just took one 5mg Ambien and have a nice buzz. Debating whether I should take another, smoke instead, or do both :D

I took zolpidem for several years. I had a pretty generous Rx script for it, my insomnia was pretty bad due to the light patterns of living in northern Alaska...it is definitely one of the more enjoyable GABAergics IMO, I think that it is an underrated (and weird) drug...

My traditional dosing routine was one 10 mg IR tab at night (5 mgs orally, 5 mgs insufflated). Usually would feel the effects start within a few minutes. With no tolerance it's almost like a mild psychedelic drug, with tolerance those effects would diminish but I'd still usually get an enjoyable mood lift and "fuzzy vision". A lot of people get bad side effects from zolpidem, though...definitely a drug with a weird variation amongst users as far as enjoyability is concerned.

It was a fun drug to take after doing dope, too. ;) Not good HR advice I suppose but there you have it. My sleep cycles eventually improved naturally (moving away from the hellhole I lived in helped tremendously) and I chose not to renew my script, and no longer take the drug. I have fond (faded) memories of it, though.
 
Ya it's not a good idea to mess with zolpidem without having another person around. Really easy to lose control.

But I agree on it being underrated. It can be really difficult to find the balance between having a nice buzz and just blacking out, but I really enjoy the uplifting and visual effects before catching some very restful Zs
 
What is the appeal of amphetamines and stimulants?

Is it a matter of personal preference? I would love a fat sack of weed but I am so high strung anything that isn't relaxing sounds like it would probably make me go postal? Are others just wired differently?
 
Yes i ĺike amphetamine i dont use weed period i just dont like it. I also just feel sick from drinking. We are almost identical but the tinest difference can drastically change preferences.
 
Being scared thinkin the cops are gonna raid your house at any moment xd
 
Intense liking and terror are pretty similar sometimes and ive gotten myself into quite alot of terror looking for that intense liking.
 
I always seem to be on edge/have mild to moderate anxiety or constantly seem to worry about stuff myself hence why I prefer depressants over stimulants as stimulants seem to make my symptoms 100 times worse.
 
I've had this theory that it depends on personality. People who are normally relaxed and quiet and like it that way move toward depressants and opioids, whereas party boys who love being the center of attention gravitate towards stimulants to enhance this. There's always exceptions, I'm down with the "down" but I went on a coke binge a few years ago. Bruised my veins so badly it looked like I'd been in a car accident
 
I didn't find cocaine to be very enjoyable, from any ROA (IV, snorting, smoking crack. In that order I would rank them)

Meth was something I seemed to enjoy the process more of than the actual high. Smoking meth was fun to do because of what it entailed, not necessarily the high in and of itself (which is closer to smoking crack than what meth should really do for you IMO)

I liked amphetamines because they made me more productive at work. But then I'd just go home, smoke weed, and crash eventually. Didn't really do much else with my time. Eventually, I just stopped taking them in order to switch to using heroin full-time so to speak
 
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