• HEALTH & RECOVERY
    Welcome Guest
    Posting Rules Bluelight Rules Thread Directory 1 Thread Directory 2
    Mindfulness Links Addiction & Mind
    Sober Living Partner Program (SLiPP)
  • H&R Moderators: VerbalTruist | cdin | Lil'LinaptkSix

Tapering Benzo withdrawal: Losing my mind

Status
Not open for further replies.
toothpastedog said:
Nice work cj. Are you concerned how it is going to play out at the your clinic if you come up on a UA dirty for cannabis metabolites?

Sounds like this experience with the cc may be the perfect motivator for finding work! I hope you are able to take advantage of the situation, I know you got it in you :)
Click to expand...

I mean failing a UA wont be good but I told my counselor about me smoking so she pushed my drug test back 10 days which might give me a shot to pass. Honestly I don't really want take homes. Too much temptation to just drink them all.

Yeah I got to get a haircut this week which sucks Ive come to love my long hair but this is the south so that shit is looked down on.
 
Nice work cj, you're handling business. You have said good things about your counselor before. I'm glad you found one you have one worth working with!
 
Ditto! :)

How's the hair cutting going? I've decided I need to do something about my hair again. I really dug the full metal jacket look, but I'm too old for a full mohawk. Or rather not a professional artist or punk, so it's a bit too much of a PITA to want to manage. I do enjoy getting my haircut though. I think I'll have to do that tonight.

BTW, do you know a good barber shop around your area cj? I find a good place, not too expensive, just a normal place but geared to men in particular (as opposed to a salon or a one stop shop haircut place) makes the experience so much more enjoyable. Much more of a community vibe in places like that (at least in LA).

Man, shit. All this haircutting talk has got me all hot and bothered. I don't know it I will be able to wait until tonight. Just got to get these fucking letters of recommendation done. FML 8)
 
What me? You're trying to encourage me to keep the mohawk aren't you ;)

But then I won't be able to enjoy me complimentary Tecaté and chat with my local barber friend Jesse who is kind enough to give me the local employ discount. Shit, I'd also pay just to be able to catch up on local gossip. Barber shops really can be a great resource for that. More reliable than bar or club gossip even :\
 
Im getting a massage tomorrow. Mom got it for me as a Christmas presentand I am going to redeem it tomorrow. Im working up t get a haircut this is the first time in my life I wear a pony tail and I really freaking like it damnit! Society sucks. Otherwise I am doing alright. I am letting my mom manage my script so not as much drama on that subject. But godamn I can eat the hell out of some gabapentin
 
lol, it isn't hard to do that with GBP when one is tolerant to benzos :)

All around, nice work cj! This is some great progress you've making. You seem to be stabilizing more in your life which is very encouraging! Very adult like of you ;)

Enjoy your massage! Those can be fucking awesome.
 
Damn I think this recent discussion is motivating me to get a haircut. I wanna get a buzz cut but then again I've never done that before lol, risky move?. But hair does grow back I guess
 
I do know the worst way to do things is use benzos sporadically after a benzo addiction..this will just guarantee you are constantly in benzo withdrawals and miserable..stay off benzos altogether..stay away until you feel better, for me it took a solid 4-5 months and I still have leftover wd effects..
 
Moreaux said:
Hey Guys - I'm back! Missed you!

cj - I've read through some of your recent posts...don't settle with a life you aren't interested in leading. If you don't want or aren't ready for the house, job, girl, etc don't do it. While many of those things bring pleasure they also bring a lot of pressure and responsibility. Take your time and figure out what you want in life (especially with the girl and kid).

Recent Discussions- I have been off benzos for seven years and I am still recovering. The first three were absolute hell but it does get better. I will read through more thoroughly tomorrow and address specifics but wanted to mention this. While not necessarily everyone's experience, recovering from benzos can take years for some, especially if they quit cold turkey. What happens when a long term user abruptly discontinues them they enter a state of excitotoxicity which throws their glutamate system into overdrive. Excessive glutamate causes widespread neurological damage. Compounding the issue is that the body is unable to regenerate neurological tissue while on benzos (Alzheimer, dementia connection to benzos) and so damage is not only pervasive but is stacked. The excitotoxicity is the same thing that happens in traumatic brain injuries, so if your withdrawal was hell and healing slow google traumatic brain injury for suggestions as there is much more research on that then benzo withdrawal. In seven years benzo free I am 85% recovered, though my anxiety is still higher than baseline and I still have facial tics (Botox is a lifesaver) and a debilitating memory. Just wanted to mention that in passing. I will be back tomorrow and will read through the last few pages and respond with some answers. Good night all!
Click to expand...

7 years and still get wd effects?!?what wds are you still feeling? Im 5-6 months off and made big leaps in progress at the 4th month off luckily..i was miserable before that though and I was thinking it would take me a full 10 months or so to feel good again.
 
According to the Ashton manual, if you improperly taper off benzodiazepines, the withdrawal/PAWS symptoms can be rather long-lasting.
 
I'm 4 months off and I'm still as miserable as the first month. Never got brain zaps, my worst symptoms have been depersonalization, being disconected, and unbearable anxiety. I have to say not feeling like myself has been the hardest thing I've ever dealt with in my entire life and I can only hope it goes away soon. But I can only guess that I haven't been making great progress because I haven't quit everything. I'll still use an amphetamine or downer weekly/bi-weekly. I really have to put a stop to that:/
 
I'm stabilized on a dose now. I can't believe I lost 20mg of Xanax somewhere in my car I hope. If it rolled out its gonna suck but I'm hoping to find a miracle when the sun comes up tomorrow
 
Nice. That is fucking awesome dude :) Christmas comes early for me again this year! Such awesome news <3

If you don't my asking, what are you taking now? The specific substances/medicines, amount and dosing frequency?

I'm super proud of you dude. Feels kinda silly saying so, but I'm just real pleased at this development.
 
2mg kpin a day will hold me as if I'm sober. I've been having cheat days where I take a lot more though. Like today I've had 6mg Xanax 4mg etizolam. Feeling alright. I think things are starting to finally start moving in my life.

I'm also done shooting Stims. I had a nasty time banging coke and 6-apb yesterday. If good meth comes around I'll make an exception till then sticking with downers.

I smoked pot a few times over the last few weekseconds got bitched at by the clinic but I'm not too worried there bark is meaner then there bite.

Made a new friend too. I think he's the long lost best friend I've been looking for. We have lots in common. I never thought I'd make another close friend at my age but shit maybe things are looking up
 
Last edited:
good method... good meth? have you tried shooting meth before? It's probably the most psychologically addictive experience I can personally imagine. You should probably steer away from it.
 
LOL yes it is haha. I have been thinking about that a lot over the last couple days thanks learning html/css. I really just want to stay up for a week learning this coding business, but somehow I know that won't be very good for me short or long term 8)
 
cj said:
Yeah shooting meth is indescribabley good.
Click to expand...

I used it excessively for about nine months before I ultimately gave it up around 2012. Have only dabbled with it since here and there. Haven't shot any drugs in well over 2 years though, and haven't been using any hard drugs in the same time period.

A lot of people end up with many problems. I sensed I was one of the few who could "keep on" with it, but I'm glad I didn't.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top