Some sub doctors suck! I have been there, with this one quack, my first sub doc who charged me $500 to sit in a room, by myself and watch videos this self absorbed fuck made of himself, basically saying, in a different way each stupid ass video "I am doing great for my self. You should too, I am a doctor, you are a POS junkie, get a life.", not in those exact words, but you would get the point. He also wrote a book about himself, we had to read before seeing him and getting the suboxone script, wouldn't script anything else no matter what.. worst sub doc you could I ever had, that charged a SHIT TON of money too. He had a 1/2 to 1 star rating online, after that I needless to say relapsed, not even 2-3 weeks of trying subs... and stayed that way, til I found a great sub doc years later.
The next doc was awesome, especially going from that first stupid ass doctor! The 2nd doc, had no problem hearing me out and listened to what I had to say, instead of being a dick and interrupting every thing I would ask, with some sort of wrong reply and false info like the first one I had... And I have since only had 2 slip ups because I was a serious SERIOUS opiate addict to anything from over 300mg a day of oxy, or more if I had the money or any equipotent dose of another strong opioid, like dilly or H.. IV too. But it all worked out after my last smaller slip up, just like a 2 week relapse with dope. The first couple were over 1-2 years.. so I am currently now at a wonderful sub doc, actually a group of a few different docs, that are all awesome and actually give a fuck!
This is my 3rd bupe maintanence program, and my doctor listens to me and knows I am not lying, blantantly seeking drugs to fuck me up.. She had no prob switching me from suboxone to subutex when I could no longer afford it, also had no problem keeping me on the klonopin I had been on for years from my 2nd doc(who was great too), and when I was diagnosed with ADHD by my psychiatrist she had no problem giving me Adderall for that.. I feel blessed to have such a great doc or docs, seeing some of your guys' posts on how your sub doc wont even give you a script for gabapentin, god forbid they give you a benzo, like 0.5mg of Ativan a day.. That is so stupid to me, doctors who say "You will most definitely die from mixing benzos with subutex!", no.. you most likely wont, I know many people who do and have for years, including myself, and I take 20mg of Adderall a day too! and I am fine, I have never felt better.
Sorry for the long post.. just wanted to say, there are some good docs out there, who actually give a fuck about every individual patient! OP: I really hope you find a way off subs, they are very addicting no doubt! I have been on suboxone and currently subutex, for over 4 years now, 5 if you count all the times I relapsed, but stayed going to my sub docs and stockpiling in the past... I know how hard it is to stay off subs for even just a day, I lose my mind, and either go get any given opi off the street or just borrow one from a friend if possible, if not I just deal with the sickness and it is terrible.. I have no desire to get off of subs now, I know if I did I would relapse into full blown IV heroin/oxy/dillaudid addiction AGAIN!