I can really relate with you Ninae. My own opinion and belief is that you are discovering your purpose, or discovering who/what you truly are. My beliefs to some people are 'off-the-wall' or 'crazy' but honestly can't be more crazy than a dude that sent us down here to test us and if we fail it's an eternity of agonizing pain and misery. I think we chose to be here and we are finally begining to see what is wrong with this world. Have you maybe lately: Tried to think about what animals feel and think, realized that we as humans have completely fucked this world up, had strong urges to do your part but have no idea what your part is, slowly started to realize how self indulged and selfish and hurting people are and it hurts you, want to have meaning and purpose because you feel like something crazy is about to happen but you cant quite place your finger on what it is? I think you may be having a SPIRITUAL AWAKENING. The things I listed are just some parts of my spiritual awakening and right now in my life I am going through a crazy section of how worthless we all seem but without any one of us the world wouldn't work properly. I suggest surrounding yourself with people you LOVE and care about and live to your fullest potential and be the person that you think you were meant to be. Find your purpose.