thats how I would describe my beliefs as well.... (my family would call me a satanist haha) I was raised hard core mormon. which is probably a step above Jehovah's witness honestly (haha mormons love to rag on JW's because they remind us of us in a not so good way lol) ... ( both mormons and Jehovah's witnesses go door to door , are passionate about their religion, both preach they are "the one true " , and have a monopoly on heaven)
although mormons are not supposed to use drugs , in utah drugs are pretty much the most popluar thing in the world... it used to be RX drugs only, but now mormon kids out there are really getting into smoking heroin, its like an epidemic. My mom use to beat us when we were kids for not being perfect mormons... she would threaten to "brain us" ...and often times would sick my dad on me, and he would pretend to hit me with a belt and I would shriek out , and it was all an act, but my mother thought it was real and that was what is important now.... She use to tell me that I would be never have a wife and family because no one could possibly love me , ( mind you that all this abuse was because I refused to be Mormon) ... she would wake us up at 5am to read the Book of Mormon as a family... She would turn on these live televised conference talks featuring sermons from the 90 year old mormon prophet and she would crank it up on the stereo system so loud that you could not escape it anywhere in the house, ney, the neighborhood!
When my older brother came home early from his mission , and when I refused to go, it nearly destroyed her. That and my older sister and her husband getting married OUTSIDE of the mormon temple! OMG absolutely crushes her soul those things.