Do I have a drug problem

[Moreaux]

I truly wish you all the luck you can get! As obvious or annoying this may sound, being addicted at 16 will certainly be the worst thing it can happen to you.

It's like losing your 'life virginity' . Everything you could be, all the friends you could have. The money, family, happiness.

And the worst of all, when you finally need to stop 5, ten or 15 years from now, you still be 16 - emotionally speaking.
It's a huge disadvantage. Why would you allow this?

I'm at your side trust me. I can't do anything for my life but you still can do something about yours.

Suggest you make an U turn or choose something lighter.
Take care!

^this. So very true. I started using at the age of 17. I am above average intelligence - I was taking all AP course in high school, University courses in the evening, had a job, was the drum major for the marching band - the whole nine yards. I work as a software engineer in life, again, requires complex reasoning skills. By day I wrote code by night I did drugs. I had to get sober in my mid thirties, and was successful. However, I am 38 years old with the emotional maturity of a 17 year old. I feel like life has passed me by, and am only now learning valuable life lessons that most people learned in their late teens and early twenties. It's difficult and often times embarrassing. I have very little recollection of my twenties, I have few friends because addiction is a great way to eventually alienate everyone you have ever cared about, and isolating. I have few professional references because alienating people isn't limited to your private life. I could continue, but so many great things have already been said I won't reiterate. This is not something you want for yourself - I promise you. Stop now while you have a choice. Btw - I started with pain pills thinking it was no biggie either, and while I enjoyed them I felt like I had control, and wasn't addicted. The funny thing about addiction is that one day you're fine and not addicted, and then you cross that line. There's no warning. Don't think you'll be able to feel it happening because you won't. Good luck!

 

[AnythingEverything]

Hi. Firstly, good on you for reaching out and asking the questions at such a young age. I was well and truly gone by your age, started at 14 and it took hold fast. But I didn't care until much later.

It's good you are thinking about it, addiction doesn't discrimiate based on intelligence, race, gender, lifestyle, nothing! I am also of above average intelligence and managed to work / study throughout my drug use (until i landed in rehab for my 21st and then again at 34.). But like someone else said, when you stop, you'll realise you are still 16 in many ways, that is so so true.

Anyway, I would be taking steps to working out and dealing with the reason (s) drugs are starting to consume you and realising that there is no happy future with drugs if you are an addict. It's so hard to swallow, especially at 16 but you've come to the right place if you want to see where drugs can take you. Good luck.

NOBODY is immune!

 

[neversickanymore]

I have a 4.2 GPA, so I knew I would be able to handle being high in school, and I was able to handle it.

Be careful with this line of thinking. Intelligence is no shield for addiction. I have an IQ in the 130's and got slaughtered for a grip. Addiction is a cunning bastard and the smarter we are the more cunning it can be.

The Brain and Addiction

Addiction Guide

 

[Erikmen]

True.
I also agree that intelligent people could even face more difficulties when quitting. It's more difficult to assume responsibility when one's rationalization could be much more 'effective'. It's easier to manipulate or to justify the addiction IMO.

 

[AnythingEverything]

True.
I also agree that intelligent people could even face more difficulties when quitting. It's more difficult to assume responsibility when one's rationalization could be much more 'effective'. It's easier to manipulate or to justify the addiction IMO.

Yep! And contrary to popular, mainstream belief...most addicts I have met (which is a lot of over 25 years) have been above average intelligence as well as being super sensitive (which is why so many of us are overwhelmed by emotions.).

People think addicts are dumb idiots but the opposite is true, so so many talented people end up on drugs. Look at the best musicians, pure genuius and so often they are on drugs.

 

[Burnt Offerings]

Yep! And contrary to popular, mainstream belief...most addicts I have met (which is a lot of over 25 years) have been above average intelligence as well as being super sensitive (which is why so many of us are overwhelmed by emotions.).

That is very true. I've found that to be the case with many drug addicts as well...many of them are quite thoughtful and sensitive people, almost to a fault sometimes.

Then again there are a lot of dummies who use drugs as well.

 

[Cosmic Trigger]

I also agree with this, especially when depression is a major player in the symptoms being dealt with. It's fucked up but that's the way it appears to be. There's a lot of research validating this. How fucking fucked it that?

 

[MrRoot]

That is very true. I've found that to be the case with many drug addicts as well...many of them are quite thoughtful and sensitive people, almost to a fault sometimes.

Then again there are a lot of dummies who use drugs as well.

I blame Scientific American for my drug related problems although I am not Scientific nor American. I remember clearly when my thoughts about drugs changed and it was while I was on a plane reading an Scientific American article about nootropics and modafinil sounded great alternative for coffee and I started thinking that it is just an chemical similar to caffeine and could boost my performance. Before that I was totally against taking drugs at all.

Well it kept me awake and messed my sleeping patterns so I just thought that if a chemical caused this then a chemical could fix this and I ended up ordering zolpidem too along with my order of modafinil. Then modafinil stopped working and I guessed I might try Ritalin as well and it did well but I was anxious on comedowns and ordered alprazolam.

For a while I was using Ritalin only to boost my performance during day and used only 0.25mg to 0.5mg of alprazolam to easy the comedowns. Then I read an article about how Ritalin's methabolites change when taking alcohol too and I wanted to experience that too and started snorting Ritalin while drinking on weekends and I had to up my doses of Ritalin and alprazolam during business days too. Once I was out of alprazolam but had zolpidem so I thought I would just up the dose and I got first hallucinations and a very untrue feeling and I liked it so I started to abuse that too.

During that time I thought that I could be my own Dr. and if only those wussies at the clinic would know how well we all could be if they just would hand over prescriptions for these drugs if someone needed a boost during work. I looked into pharmacology and honestly I think I know more than a GPs here know about these drugs. It was also pretty easy to get these drugs as all you needed was to add some products to your shopping basket on legal looking internet pharmacies and then pay those and wait until the mailman carries your sweets to home.

Then the honeymoon ended and I had full blown benzo and z-drug addiction with a huge tolerance for Ritalin. Luckily I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder and found eventually drugs that kept me in remission and at the same time got group support and therapy and I could get rid of these drugs. I didn't think at all that I had drug problem before I started cleaning my closet in which I kept my used packages of these drugs. There was a huge pile of those and a good stash of unopened ones and it totally opened my eyes.

I had been a bit less than a year in CBT before I noticed my drug problem. When I admitted it my therapist said that he hadn't been taken that cat out of the bag because I am too smart to not notice drug problem right away and if someone else would point it out I would just outreason them and nothing would have changed unless I find it out on my own. I actually am smart enough to be a member of Mensa and I truly know that I can and have reasoned plenty of my problems out of mind without doing anything for them.

 

[neversickanymore]

When you are young and trying drugs your reward center of your brain is developed enough to get pleasure from drugs, especially opiates, however your prefrontal cortex (executive decision making part of your brain) is not yet fully developed. This means it will be harder for you to make rational, sound decisions when it comes to drugs.

Why Teens Are Impulsive, Addiction-Prone And Should Protect Their Brains

 

[Erikmen]

It will be also harder and difficult to recover that energy but not impossible. With time you'll adapt yourself to new environments. With exercises and a healthier life you it seems that you recover some of those endorphin/dopamines and start to 'train' your brain to live differently, despite of our memory that is unfortunately linked to the idea of how good your experiences might have been. However, on the other hand it might forget some of the worst situations you've been through.

To illustrate that, I have a relative who quit smoking and other things and he'd always say when he was old he would go back and no longer care about cigarettes or drinking. Years and years later he tried smoking and couldn't finish. The alcohol was too strong and made his nauseated. He had somehow romanticized the experiences had been through when he was addicted. True, although if he continued trying he would eventually get back to his previous path.

Of course this is a lot different when you talk about opiates, but I'm sure that with due time you and everyone else who tries sobriety will learn how to cope with the new you. New joys, new life, new job, friends, etc. Being in love is a bit like addiction. There's no life after it has been gone out of our life purposely. But I believe we humans adapt to anything, including pain, misery, work, defeat, etc, etc. You just need to begin.

 

[infantannihilator]

life is not worth living sober

it's just endless and infinite minutes of pain and bullshit

 

[infantannihilator]

It will be also harder and difficult to recover that energy but not impossible. With time you'll adapt yourself to new environments. With exercises and a healthier life you it seems that you recover some of those endorphin/dopamines and start to 'train' your brain to live differently, despite of our memory that is unfortunately linked to the idea of how good your experiences might have been. However, on the other hand it might forget some of the worst situations you've been through.

To illustrate that, I have a relative who quit smoking and other things and he'd always say when he was old he would go back and no longer care about cigarettes or drinking. Years and years later he tried smoking and couldn't finish. The alcohol was too strong and made his nauseated. He had somehow romanticized the experiences had been through when he was addicted. True, although if he continued trying he would eventually get back to his previous path.

Of course this is a lot different when you talk about opiates, but I'm sure that with due time you and everyone else who tries sobriety will learn how to cope with the new you. New joys, new life, new job, friends, etc. Being in love is a bit like addiction. There's no life after it has been gone out of our life purposely. But I believe we humans adapt to anything, including pain, misery, work, defeat, etc, etc. You just need to begin.

LOL

all that shit is a fucking lie and you know it
\1 relapse proves the point

struggle and go as long as you want. at some point you'll convince yourself.. but in the back of your mind you know theres better and its in the form of some dissolvable powder you can take by your choice means

life will never trump drugs

its why druga hold us hostage

every day is a battle
fuck the battle

give in, or slash your throat and at least feel the insane euphori the rush and panic of a bleed out will produce

 

[infantannihilator]

my whole life is over because I got too deep into drugs

theres no coming back

its fcking pointless

it's like tryinf to mend a bent frame on a car.. it'll never be the same

 

[Burnt Offerings]

"Oh, well...we all do what we can not to think about life."

- Cemetery Man (1994)

 

[neversickanymore]

all that shit is a fucking lie and you know it

So you know what he knows.. apparently not?

\1 relapse proves the point

Well if you take an approach that claims and leads to this? sounds like fellowship bs.

struggle and go as long as you want. at some point you'll convince yourself.. but in the back of your mind you know theres better and its in the form of some dissolvable powder you can take by your choice means

That "option" is always in my mind, but i don't struggle?

life will never trump drugs

Depends on what type of life you lead.. also typical addict black and white thinking here.. maybe you could have a life and still do beneficial drugs?

its why druga hold us hostage

your thinking holds you hostage?

every day is a battle

Better learn how to win the war

fuck the battle

This is how you lose the war

give in, or slash your throat and at least feel the insane euphori the rush and panic of a bleed out will produce

Hopeless people are easy to control and manipulate.. learn how addiction works and you will no longer be its slave.. the insane euphoria is a fantasy and the sustained euphoria of a good life sober or with limited drugs blows it outa the sea, TRUE

 

[Erikmen]

Hopeless people are easy to control and manipulate.. learn how addiction works and you will no longer be its slave.. the insane euphoria is a fantasy and the sustained euphoria of a good life sober or with limited drugs blows it outa the sea, TRUE

Absolutely!!

 

[Psychedalienation]

if you have to ask yourself if you have a drug problem, then more than likely yes...

Not true at all... Most drug addicts don't want to admit they have a problem in the first place, let alone going out of their way to ask a community their opinion. I see what you were trying to get at, but this statement is bugging me for some reason.

 

[Psychedalienation]

Fucking wrecked.
Just kidding but not really ANYWAYS, the OP of your quote response is the most ignorant and depressing post I have seen. Poor guy believes that sober living will never live up to the synthesized euphoria that comes from drugs. I wish more than anything that I had never tried any drugs and lived my life ignorantly blissed. But I digress and unfortunately he doesn't and will probably end up dead in a ditch twitching out with a body full of chemicals and a brain full of sadness... I hope he learns what this life has to offer. Life is what you make of it and as cheesy as that sounds, it's true. I sound like a parent lol rant over bye.

 

[Psychedalienation]

That is very true. I've found that to be the case with many drug addicts as well...many of them are quite thoughtful and sensitive people, almost to a fault sometimes.

Luckily, we have a site, well a COMMUNITY, of like minded people who can use this tool to come together and help each other out. I'm a new member to this site but I have been reading here for 3-4 years and it is beautiful to me.

Then again there are a lot of dummies who use drugs as well.

This is true, but I would say that we don't have many around here and they can be pretty easily avoided in real life. They are not that hard to spot, especially if you have a brain that reads people instantly pretty well which I believe I can do. Once you get the warning signs, you just have to take a step, or 7,000 steps back and find people you connect with, addicts or not.

But anyways I definitely agree, most drug abusers/addicts are usually highly intelligent and have fast moving minds for sure.

 

[deos68]

Not true at all... Most drug addicts don't want to admit they have a problem in the first place, let alone going out of their way to ask a community their opinion. I see what you were trying to get at, but this statement is bugging me for some reason.

i said most likely yes
many users go into denial and come on here to get validation that they aren't abusing drugs or prescription pills which is BS and pointless
i stand by what i said