man, the past several months have just flown by... it's crazy how fast the time goes when i'm using. on the flipside, the past two weeks without heroin have felt like an eternity. the minutes, the seconds--they just drag on. friday seems so far away.
i don't understand how i still feel sick when i'm taking about 2mg suboxone every morning. i'm just now normalizing, after almost two weaks, but i'm still having some intermittent hot flashes and chills, and the insomnia is still pretty bad. i mean i would expect to feel better than this even if i HADN'T been taking sub, or anything else, for the last two weeks. the first two days were hell--even though i'd waited 30 hours after my last shot before i took any bupe. the third day i was able to function but still feeling horrible; i was taking 16mg a day but realized that taking more than 4mg really is kind of pointless. now i'm taking 2. my pupils are still bigger than normal even now.
people talk about how powerful bupe is but it seems to have hardly touched my withdrawal this time around. makes me wish i had just toughed it out without it, would it really have been much worse? i guess it probably would have had to have been worse. i dunno, just seems odd to me. maybe the dope i've been getting is stronger than i thought. i was doing about .5 a day, sometimes more. a .25 shot wasn't getting me high at all.
i'm wondering where my tolerance is gonna be at on friday when i pick up some stuff. i'm planning on taking 2mg of bupe thursday morning around 5:30am, and then not taking any on friday, so it will have been over 30 hours since i had any suboxone. i'm guessing that's enough time to wait. i'm probably gonna start with .1 and go up from there, just to be safe.
