Etizolam is a problem drug for me. I had a history of benzo abuse....a 16mg lorazepam per day script at one point, (highest the pharmacists had seen) and I would go through 240 lorazepam in 3-4 days. I ended up downing 240 of them and 60 zopiclone, as well as drinking a 750ml bottle of vodka, while on 300+mg methadone and over 300,000mg of gabapentin one night...I blacked out and woke up in the hospital psych ward with 2 guards at my bed....That should've been the first sign of a problem....
I continued for years on the same script of lorazepam, abusing it as always, and reduced it to about 4mg per day, only to discover Etizolam powder online....At the time I was using stimulants, and getting edgy, and using etizolam to combat that. In turn I would take more stimulants and more etiz, and repeat, over and over...day in day out..It came to a point where I was so sleepy all the time I started IV'ing Ethylphenidate, Isopropylphenidate and Propylphenidate, as well as 3,4-CTMP....I then started to IV designer phenmetrazine anologues and morpholines in general, and orally use hallucinogens like 5-ho-mipt and Escaline/Proscaline.
It's a slippery slope and if you have that addictive personality it's so hard to just not use things......
I was tapered off benzos due to my doctors fear I was abusing them......I now use other anxiety medication and no more stims aside from amphetamine salts, extended release twice daily......I won't say what anxiety med I am using as I believe some could think it's safe to use and overdose and die...I've had much success and no urge to get high like on etizolam and I can even put it away and I've never blacked out on these meds. PM me if you want info...
I understand why you have trouble with Etizolam. It's as good as Midazolam in my opinion and the most recreationally pleasant benzo I've ever used, and I've used nearly all of them at one point or another.
If you aren't careful you are going to do something ridiculous that you regret and you'll be in my shoes, and have lost the respect of your family, friends, wife, and anyone else you love or care about.
I wish I could take back what I did, and been more responsible in my use of etizolam........I wish I hadn't borrowed 1000's of dollars, and made my mother cry, as well as break part of the bond I share with my wife who now worries I will end up back in the psych ward, full of needle holes, and hallucinating, seeing people, hearing people who aren't there.
I suggest you be very very careful.....Do not drink on them either....Liberal use of Etizolam will likely cause some sort of problem that will land you near where I landed that fateful night I lost my mind, and the respect of everyone I know.
I'm very much in your shoes...I've never felt "right" unless I was consuming opiates or something euphoric that made me feel okay in my own skin and not totally bored. I've been like that since I was 12 and experienced oxycodone the first time, along with the experience of becoming addicted to opiates by age 13....
You're just going to have to learn to moderate your intake, and become less impulsive about dosing.....No one can do that for you and that's what scares me about myself....I'm the type of person who can just keep dosing dosing until I am hospitalized.
Good luck! Please be careful and take what I said to heart.........I'm sorry for the sloppiness of my post...
I wish you well...from one ex-etizolam lover and user to another.