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breakup then pregnant help

A

Axefaxer7

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Joined
Dec 8, 2015
Messages
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I'm sure this goes without saying, but no judging I just need advice. I'm 20 yr old male and have been with my girlfriend that is 2 years younger than me, and have been with her for 8 months. I took her virginity when we first started dating and she has been having thoughts of breaking up with me for a while now, and can't make up her mind. she woke up the other morning freaking out on me telling me all the things I'd ever done wrong and blah blah she breaks up with me.

but later that day, she called me and said she's PREGNANT. she wants to have an abbortion and be done with everything. my QUESTION is, is it really that easy for a girl to go through with a complete split up after something like this happens, or in most situations like these, would girls become attached and not be able to give up so easy. I'm simply baffled that she could do such a thing. thoughts and advice ?
 
There's no generic "a girl" but when people are done with relationships they are done. Staying together because of a pregnancy is seldom a good idea. You should respect her decisions.
 
Indeed. Besides you are too young and have a full life ahead of you. In a way it's good that she decided it as this would have been quite a difficult call IMO.
 
Everyone is different. I'm not sure what's so confusing about her wanting an abortion, especially since you two broke up.
 
Axefaxer7 said:
I'm sure this goes without saying, but no judging I just need advice. I'm 20 yr old male and have been with my girlfriend that is 2 years younger than me, and have been with her for 8 months. I took her virginity when we first started dating and she has been having thoughts of breaking up with me for a while now, and can't make up her mind. she woke up the other morning freaking out on me telling me all the things I'd ever done wrong and blah blah she breaks up with me.

but later that day, she called me and said she's PREGNANT. she wants to have an abbortion and be done with everything. my QUESTION is, is it really that easy for a girl to go through with a complete split up after something like this happens, or in most situations like these, would girls become attached and not be able to give up so easy. I'm simply baffled that she could do such a thing. thoughts and advice ?
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She is only 18 man, you are both very young and still have a lot of growing up to do yourselves. Having kids does not fix a relationship and staying with someone just because you have a child can and usually does create a divided family and the child grows up seeing their parents miserable. Not to mention she is probably thinking about what is best for her future in the long run, its extremely hard to go to college while pregnant and then raising a newborn and under the age of 21.

I mean you already dont have a great relationship, what kind of income do you have? Any money at all? In college? If you really want what is best for you future child then IMO that means waiting until you are atleast halfway ready. You guys are barely adults, but you def need to learn to use proper birth control as a part of being adults. Its her choice about the abortion and I do not blame her one bit. Neither should you.
 
Speaking from experience, yes it is possible.

I fell pregnant at 19 and had been with my guy for nearly 2 years. I told him straight that I didn't want kids. He said if I had a termination, it was over. I had to think about me and my life and the timing for a child was not even close to right. I had my termination. Don't get me wrong, I still wonder "what if" and it's been 12 years, but I know I did the right thing for me.

Some people are emotional and others are logical. There are several reasons, according to her, why you guys split. This means she's put a lot of thought into it, even if it makes no sense to you. She's obviously don the same with this pregnancy and has made her decision.

Although it may be a bitter pill to swallow, I suggest you support her decision, be a sympathetic ear should she need one and let her make this choice.
 
BadHero said:
Speaking from experience, yes it is possible.

I fell pregnant at 19 and had been with my guy for nearly 2 years. I told him straight that I didn't want kids. He said if I had a termination, it was over. I had to think about me and my life and the timing for a child was not even close to right. I had my termination. Don't get me wrong, I still wonder "what if" and it's been 12 years, but I know I did the right thing for me.

Some people are emotional and others are logical. There are several reasons, according to her, why you guys split. This means she's put a lot of thought into it, even if it makes no sense to you. She's obviously don the same with this pregnancy and has made her decision.

Although it may be a bitter pill to swallow, I suggest you support her decision, be a sympathetic ear should she need one and let her make this choice.
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*Slow clap*
 
BadHero said:
Although it may be a bitter pill to swallow, I suggest you support her decision, be a sympathetic ear should she need one and let her make this choice
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To be honest, she really wss under no obligation to even tell you about the pregnancy, after breaking up - so i think you should offer her support if she needs it (by that i mean emotional support or even financial if she needs it) if you can.

If you can't - and find that hard (which would be understandable if you're hurt about the breakup), then the best thing you can do is - as others have said - respect her decision and leave her to it.
If she does need emotional support, i think you should try to consider her vulnerability in this situation - she's a kid, not ready to be a mother - and the worst thing you could do would be to lay a guilt trip on her or try to re-establish a relationship with her.

If it were me, i'd offer to contribute to the cost of the procedure, but that's just me.
 
Dude I hate to tell you but your young and don't know how women work yet. Your relationship has been over for a while you just have t known it yet. When men break up with a girl they do it right when they feel it's necessary. Women on the other hand emotionally detach slowly when they want to break up. So in her mind you broke up a month or 2 ago and she slowly detached and was able to finally say she wants the break up. I've spoken to many female friends about this and that's what they do. It is easier emotionally for them. And I'm sure just yesterday or a week ago she's been still saying "I love you blah blah blah" but her actions have most likely been slowly pulling away even if your love hadn't allowed you to see it.

i know girls whomhave been in many relationships and do this every single fucking time. You prob won't believe me and have to learn the hard way but it's true.

Self preservation ion is what you need to think of now. Get the abortion done and just be done with this girl. Because ull most likely be broken up very soon and u have the rest of ur life to think about

drop the baby drop the girl move on with life

I wish U best

edit: just saw the part where you said she has thinking about breaking up,with you for a while. I wrote my post without seeing that part so clearly I was right and know what I'm saying. Don't listen to the guy under me
 
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Don't listen to the guy above me (edit)

Axefaxer7 said:
haha.
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Its cool you seen the humour in that. obviously i cant talk to her , but you can

now listen very carefully, this is life or death

As soon as you finish reading this , do the following

First-- Go to the shop and buy her favourite snack,,, chocolate/crisps/cake,, whatever

seconds-- Go find her, make sure its just the two of you, sit her down , make her a cup of tea, and give her the sweets

third-- Tell her she is the most precious thing ever to walk the earth, you love her with all your heart, and you will stand by her no matter what happens,

Fourth-- Tell her you are ready and willing to be a father and you know, she will be a great mother, tell her, this new baby is a chrismas present givin to us by life, tell her , our future will be fantastic, and you think it might be a Boy..


or somthing like that.. im in a hurry and have to go out,, but you get my drift.. Good luck.. and lots of love
 
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stu411 said:
Its cool you seen the humour in that. obviously i cant talk to her , but you can

now listen very carefully, this is life or death

As soon as you finish reading this , do the following

First-- Go to the shop and buy her favourite snack,,, chocolate/crisps/cake,, whatever

seconds-- Go find her, make sure its just the two of you, sit her down , make her a cup of tea, and give her the sweets

third-- Tell her she is the most precious thing ever to walk the earth, you love her with all your heart, and you will stand by her no matter what happens,

Fourth-- Tell her you are ready and willing to be a father and you know, she will be a great mother, tell her, this new baby is a chrismas present givin to us by life, tell her , our future will be fantastic, and you think it might be a Boy..


or somthing like that.. im in a hurry and have to go out,, but you get my drift.. Good luck.. and lots of love
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whatever you do, DO NOT DO THIS.

As as I explained above your relationship has been over for a while. A kid will ABSOLUTELY RUIN YOUR LIFE. Especially with someone who has been wanting you out of your life.

Imagine you you have the kid and gotta pay child support for 18 years to a girl who doesn't love you


find her, sit her down, have abortion as soon as possible and never speak to her again. You guys don't want to bring a kid into the world with a broken family, at such a young age having to struggle the rest of your life.

If if you listen to me in 3 months ull be messaging me saying "thank you NYG I listened to u and I'm so happy I did. Life couldn't be better......"
 
stu411 said:
Its cool you seen the humour in that. obviously i cant talk to her , but you can

now listen very carefully, this is life or death

As soon as you finish reading this , do the following

First-- Go to the shop and buy her favourite snack,,, chocolate/crisps/cake,, whatever

seconds-- Go find her, make sure its just the two of you, sit her down , make her a cup of tea, and give her the sweets

third-- Tell her she is the most precious thing ever to walk the earth, you love her with all your heart, and you will stand by her no matter what happens,

Fourth-- Tell her you are ready and willing to be a father and you know, she will be a great mother, tell her, this new baby is a chrismas present givin to us by life, tell her , our future will be fantastic, and you think it might be a Boy..


or somthing like that.. im in a hurry and have to go out,, but you get my drift.. Good luck.. and lots of love
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Presumptuous, manipulative and disgusting. Terrible idea.
 
nygiants1313 said:
A kid will ABSOLUTELY RUIN YOUR LIFE. "
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Yep, unless you are 110% committed to changing your entire lifestyle, and I mean everything.

Its a choice that only the OP can make.

I'm living in a homeless shelter and theres women, babies and children here. Do you relise how hard it must be for the babys that deserve a better life then the fucking shithole i'm in? Both mom and dad are here, neither one of them work, and i'm sure moms breast feeding her baby with the slop we all eat at meals.

If I were you OP, id start reading the baby books.
 
D's said:
Yep, unless you are 110% committed to changing your entire lifestyle, and I mean everything.

Its a choice that only the OP can make.

I'm living in a homeless shelter and theres women, babies and children here. Do you relise how hard it must be for the babys that deserve a better life then the fucking shithole i'm in? Both mom and dad are here, neither one of them work, and i'm sure moms breast feeding her baby with the slop we all eat at meals.

If I were you OP, id start reading the baby books.
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Agree with everything in your post except the decision part. Unfortunately it's to late for OP, and girl is pregnant and he doesn't get to make any decision. The rest of his life will be in her hands
 
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